Stepping Out

Jan 19, 2010

Current mood:nervous

Today I got two new pairs of shoes.  I wanted to get some Vans, but Vans doesn't make their classic style shoes anymore.  I went over to the Sketchers website, and found a model called the Sketchers Klone.  In other words, a classic Vans copy.  I went to the Sketchers store, and they had a sale.  Point, me.  The funny thing is the Klone series doesn't actually cost that much.  10 years ago I paid $50.00 for my green Vans shoes.  Today, I paid $40.00 for the first pair, and $20.00 for the second.  With tax, it was $64.11.  I can't argue with that. 

I hadn't gotten a pair of shoes in five years.  In 10 years I have gone through 3 pairs of Vans.  The green pair had lasted me a very long time.  In fact, they were the first pair of Vans shoes that I had ever gotten.  Since it had been so long, I finally broke down, and got a pair, er actually two.

But maybe getting shoes is not just getting shoes.  Maybe it is a metaphor.  I am shipping out, (er, taking the Greyhound) to Oklahoma City, Ok. for my new job as an over the road truck driver.  Maybe my new shoes represent starting my new path in life.  I need new shoes for all the miles I will be traveling. 

I will be going back out on the road driving to and fro.  I could be driving in any and all of the lower 48 states.  Getting a job driving over the road is like dealing with the five stages of grief.

1.  Denial.  I can't believe I have a job driving stuff all over the place.
2.  Anger.  I'm going to have to leave a lot of people and posessions behind.
3.  Bargaining.  I'm sure I'll get to take more time off.  I'm sure I won't be lonely.
4.  Depression.  Life on the road is hard, and I'm not even making that much money.
5.  Acceptance.  I have to go to work.  I have to make some sort of money.

Life on the road is hard.  I have a lot of things I worry about when I'm not here.  If something were to go wrong, and I'm not at home, it would eat me up inside.  I know I shouldn't worry about the things I can't control, but it's hard not to. 

To be honest, I'm only thinking short term with this company.  They are known as a starter company, and they don't pay that well.  I want to get just enough experience until I can get a job with a better company that pays well. 

This may be my last post for a while.  I won't be able to carry my computer on the road with me while in training.