So hunting season is coming up. I tell a lot of hunting stories, and no one really believes the stupid things that really happen to me. In order to share the complete insanity that is our hunting season, I have decided to take the video camera with me and record the action.
I only hope one of us gets something so I can film us gutting it. I would probably get too close to the gut cavity, get a whiff of the insides, turn around, and puke right in front of the camera. Dad is a sympathetic puker, so he would then puke from the sight of me puking. So if our hunting buddy the Weasel was around, he would puke too. So it would be like that episode of Family Guy where they were all puking on each other.
I already see the highlights of the trip:
1. Trying to get The Weasel up in the morning. It honestly takes 30-40 minutes.
2. The night before where The Weasel says that he wants us to get up at 3:30 in the morning. (Note: He is serious.)
3. The Weasel eating raw sardines in greasy oil sauce. If only there was smell-o-vision.
4. The always popular, "where to hunt?" conversation.
5. Filming the locals.
6. Filming the check station. Something is always going on there.
7. Filming us shooting some stuff with high powered firearms.
8. Showing the view from the tree stand.
9. Showing the squirrels coming up to the tree next to me, and squawking. And scaring off all the game by doing so.
10. Getting a nice scenic shot of the pond. Oh, and getting some shots of the southern part of Perry. It's right on the ocean, and the view is amazing.
11. Pranks. We'll have to get some sort of prank on video.
12. Filming Dad driving down the road while The Weasel tries to figure the map out. We've been hunting there for 20 years, the map hasn't changed. It's funny to watch them argue about where everything is located.
13. Of course, there is always me in my stylish hunting outfits. I look good for the camera.
14. Filming our nightly trip to St. Wally World (Wal-Mart) where the Weasel needs some sort of weird item.
15. Filming me, and watching my daily beef jerky intake.
16. The nightly countdown to see how late the Weasel will be.
Now people may ask, "Aren't you worried about missing some animals if you are constantly filming?" Well, I haven't actually killed anything major (deer, hog, coyote, cow, or whatever) in 14 years. So I'm not actually worried about shooting anything.
The thing is, even though I may plan to film some things, there are so many moments that I never see coming. That is the beauty of hunting with the Weasel. Just when you think the sillyness barrier has been met, we go right past it into something that can't be described. That is until you see it on film.
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