The Wolverine

May 10, 2009

Current mood:aggravated

In the movie Mallrats, Marvel Comics genius and editor Stan Lee gave some great insight to Brodie.  He said that he created the Hulk/ Bruce Banner to show the anger he sometimes felt inside.  He created Peter Parker/ Spiderman to show the insecurities and pressures he felt as a teenager.

I think a lot of people like to see themselves in their favorite superhero.  I think that's why I have always liked Wolverine.  I take medication to control my "Inner Animal."  Like Wolverine, for years I struggled with my anger and the Animal within.  It's kind of like what behavioral psychologists would call a person's "Id."  The Id only knows what it wants.  It doesn't understand reason or consiquences.  It only wants. 

It's so hard to get people to understand how hard it is to sometimes control the Animal within.  I'm not always successful.  It seems I can only keep the Animal at bay, I can't lock it up.  I had one friend who thought medicines like Prozac and such were a scam.  I had to set him straight.  I not so nicely told him he wouldn't want to be locked in a room with me if I was off my meds.

I've recently had trouble with my inner Animal.  My girlfriend Roxy's (not her real name) psycho ex-boyfriend has recently been stalking her.  This type of confrontation brings out the worst of the Animal.  Not only is he threatening the Animal's mate, he is doing something he shouldn't be doing.  He is just giving the Animal an excuse. 

Roxy and me went to see a concert of a band she likes.  We were standing around between the 1st and 2nd sets when who should appear but her psycho ex-boyfriend.  It's not just that he appeared.  It's that he was standing 3-4 feet behind behind us, and just kept standing there.  Roxy was terrified.  She didn't know what he was playing at.  Was he trying to start a confrontation?  Was he sneaking up behind us to stick a knife into one of our backs?  And why was he just standing there? 

When Roxy said to me, "Look right behind you," the Animal came alive.  It was all I could do to hold the Animal under control, and not rip the pyscho ex-boyfriend's throat out.  Honestly, my first thought was, "Throw the left!"  However, my second thought was, "You have to protect Roxy."  So I held her, and took some deep breaths until I could get the Animal under control.  It was then that I turned to pysco ex-boyfriend, and yelled at him, "What's the deal man?"  He then walked away.

I have to admit it was a tough thing.  I have to let the Animal out on a chain to confront him, but keep the chain short enough so that the Animal doesn't rip his throat out.  However, if pyscho ex-boyfriend had of challenged the Animal, well, let's just say that pyscho ex-boyfriend wouldn't have walked out of that place.  He would have had to of been carried out on a stretcher.

I'm glad I didn't have to let the Animal out.  I don't want Roxy seeing that part of me.  However, when it comes to her safety, I will do what I have to.