Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Weking

Mar 18, 2010

The other day I thought of the ulimate prank to pull on your place of work.  Note:  This is guaranteed to get you fired if it is ever found out that you did this.  Also, it might cost a lot of money.  You will also need a key to the office.

So here's where we start.  12 midnight.  The office where you work.  You will need a large vehicle to carry... about 200 guniea pigs.  That's right.  You are going to "Pig" the office.  I don't know, and don't want to know how you will get 200 guniea pigs, but you get them somehow.  You then release them into the office.  Note:  It might be nice to leave a few plates of water out for them.  They don't need much, but with 200 of them running around, you might have to have a few plates laid out. 

Now that you have released the guniea pigs, now comes a critical question.  Do you set the alarm for the office, or do you leave it off for the morning?  If you set the alarm then you only have a short time before the motion detector goes off, and the police come.  They will then call the boss/ manager, and he/she will have to come out in the middle of the night to deal with 200 guniea pigs running around the office.

But the real fun is if you don't set the alarm.  Someone will be coming into the office in the morning not thinking about much.  Just getting the lights on, coffee made, paperwork in order, and computers fired up.  So when the very first guniea pig runs out in front of them, they won't know what to think.  What if they then try to get ahold of one, and see another ten?  So then a few more people show up, and try to figure out the following:

1.  Why are all these guniea pigs here?
2.  Did someone put all these pigs here?
3.  What are we going to do with all these pigs?
4.  Do we call the police or animal control?
5.  When customers start showing up do we ask them to help?
6.  Where do we put them all for the time being?
7.  Do we put them in the filing cabinets?
8.  Do we have a back room we can put them in?
9.  Just how many pigs are there?
10.  What do we do about all this guniea pig poop? 
11.  They are really fast, how do we catch them all?
12.  Where do we keep the broom, so we can get them out from under the furniture?

One big thing that is true.  Guniea pigs poop a lot.  I mean a lot.  200 pigs may drop over a pound of poop in one night alone.  Let's say that they may at least fill a few vaccum bags full of poop.  So it would be impossible to walk anywhere in that office without stepping on poop.  The carpet would be ruined. 

Then comes the other issue.  What to do with that number of guniea pigs?  Animal control would have to be called out.  The good news is that when they would be taken to a shelter, you can go to that shelter, and adopt all 200 of them to pull this prank again.  (Ok, not really, but a person can dream.) 

The funniest part of this entire prank would be the noise.  Guniea pigs make a noise called a "wek!"  The call of 200 guniea pigs would be a symphony called "The weking."  You have to ask yourself, "Is the weking coming for you?"   

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