Shenanigins

Jan. 13, 2009

As a small child, I never really liked what adults would call teasing.  I couldn't really see the difference between teasing and insulting.  To this day I still don't much difference between the two.  However, I do believe in shenanigans.  It's easy to insult someone, however shenanigans require thought, patience, and planning.  I'd like to write about some of the shenanigans I've pulled in the past.

To protect the identity of the victim, I will refer to her as my Evil Sister, or ES for short.  Now, I always liked Tom Green's sense of humor.  I thought it was brilliant in that, he let people's reactions to odd behavior show the real laughs.  In other words, the joke was not in what he did, but how people reacted to him.

There was one episode where Tom went to a street corner in New York City, and just laid face down on the corner.  He never said anything, or did anything.  He just laid down.  Well some people started to gather.  Then more, then even more.  Well, after a while there was like 50 people gathered around him on the corner all discussing what to do.  No one was sure what to do.  Then he just got up and walked off.  Again, he didn't say anything or do anything.  He just walked off.  The joke was everyone's reaction to what he was doing.  Well I decided to do something simular.

I was standing in front of the fridge when I hear the door.  I just decide to lay face down in front of the fridge, glasses askew, looking passed out.  That's when Evil Sister walked in.  The conversation then went something like this.

ES:  Adrian!  (Said in a shout to get my attention.)
ES:  Adrian?  (Said in a question.)
ES:  Adrian?  (Said with concern while standing over top of me.)
ES:  Adrian!!!!!!  (Yelled while frantically shaking me.)  Note:  Remember, it's not a good idea to shake a person when they are down on the floor.  They may have fallen, and you could aggravate an injury.
Adrian:  Huh?  Huh!  What?  (Said while acting like I'm waking up from a coma.)
ES:  Are you fucking with me? 
Adrian:  Yes.
ES:  Asshole!!!!!  (Yelled while kicking me in the back.) 
She then went on to yell that if I was ever hurt that I could just lie there and die.  In the end I think she thought it was funny.  Ok, no she didn't.  She's still mad at me for it.

The next one I remember well.  It was Mother's Day, and we were all being nice to Mom.  The thing about Florida is that there are a lot of snakes around here.  What's even funnier is that, Mom is terrified of snakes.  Some people say they are scarred of snakes, but I've never met anyone on Earth that is so insanely terrified of snakes as my Mom is. 

So she was looking out the window, and thought there was a snake in the back yard.  We all went on the back porch to investigate.  To me it looked like a black racer.  They will have their bodies on the ground, but move with their heads sticking up.  This snake looked like it had it's head sticking up like a black racer.  So I creep out into the yard and try to get a closer look.  I have to get within two yards to see that it is actually a stick of wood that fell from the tree above.  Well, I decide to do what any smart ass would do.  I make an insane jump, and grab ahold of the stick, and start wrestling with it. 

I am waiting for the scream, but I don't hear it.  I look over, and my Mom is frozen with fear and shaking.  I hold up the stick, and yell to her that it's just a stick, not a snake.  She starts having trouble talking.  I go up to her, and find out what had happened.  She stopped breathing.  It scared her so bad, her heart stopped, and she stopped breathing for about three seconds.  She then started gasping for breath, and shaking. 

So to this day she still holds it against me.  Deep down I suspect she finds it funny.  However, she is still deathly afraid of snakes. 

I try to pull simple shenanigans on my Dad.  Once a long time ago, I stumbled in the house like I was drunk off my ass.  He was really concerned that I was either hurt, drunk, or other.  Of course, it was none of the above. 

Once, I had to take a new kind of medicine that had a warning label that it,"may cause side effects."  So for a while I acted like a robot with no emotion.  It took him a while until he said something, and said he was "concerned with how I felt."  I was just surprised it took him so long to say something. 

So that's all I can think of for now.  Once I get a few more memories come to me I'll write them down.