Monday, February 28, 2011

Mistakes, Regrets, and a Lost Temper

Dec 26, 2010

I’m not proud of this, but I lost my temper.  I have had to control it my whole life, but I lost it, and some not so nice things happened.  Let me start at the beginning. 

I had broken up with my former girlfriend Roxy (not her real name) this past July.  I had been careful not to say anything personal about our break-up to our friends or on the internet.  I simply put that we had broken up, and I would not be posting for a while.

After a break up there is that weird period where you avoid talking to each other.  We hadn’t talked since I took her stuff over to her place.  I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or what.  Even if I did say something, what should I say?  I was trying to keep on good terms since we share a lot of the same friends. 

My birthday is August 27th.  On my birthday Roxy deleted me from her Myspace and Facebook pages.  I got mad.  I then did something that I said I wouldn’t do.  I aired some dirty laundry in a blog.  I wanted to write a blog about me wanting to stay friends with her.  Unfortunately, it didn’t come out that way. 

She ended up reading it, and wrote a comment on Myspace.  However, Myspace changed their blog format, and I don’t know what she wrote.  Although, I’m sure she was hurt by it. 

A few weeks ago I looked on her Facebook page, and saw her parents were in an accident.  Unfortunately, I didn’t look at the year.  The accident had happened a few years ago.  It was a stupid mistake on my part for not looking at the year.  I wrote her, and asked her if I should send a get well card to her parents.  Roxy was not too happy about me writing her.  She was still mad about what I had written.  She told me to never contact her again.

This is very different for me.  I don’t exactly have any girlfriends before Roxy, but the few women I have dated I have remained friends with.  I wanted to remain friends or at the very least, be on good terms with her.  Again, we share a lot of common friends.  I know we will eventually run into each other at one of our religious events.  Since I figured it would happen sometime, I thought it would be good for everyone if we remained friends.

I am mad at myself for losing my temper, and writing a public blog.  I wish I hadn’t of done that.  However, now that I think of it, I believe that it wouldn’t have made a difference.  Roxy had deleted me as a friend on her accounts, and she does not want to talk to me.  If break-ups are supposed to be weird and hard for everyone, well then, I guess I am no exception to that rule.

No comments:

Post a Comment