Monday, February 28, 2011
Mistakes, Regrets, and a Lost Temper
Dec 26, 2010
I’m not proud of this, but I lost my temper. I have had to control it my whole life, but I lost it, and some not so nice things happened. Let me start at the beginning.
I had broken up with my former girlfriend Roxy (not her real name) this past July. I had been careful not to say anything personal about our break-up to our friends or on the internet. I simply put that we had broken up, and I would not be posting for a while.
After a break up there is that weird period where you avoid talking to each other. We hadn’t talked since I took her stuff over to her place. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or what. Even if I did say something, what should I say? I was trying to keep on good terms since we share a lot of the same friends.
My birthday is August 27th. On my birthday Roxy deleted me from her Myspace and Facebook pages. I got mad. I then did something that I said I wouldn’t do. I aired some dirty laundry in a blog. I wanted to write a blog about me wanting to stay friends with her. Unfortunately, it didn’t come out that way.
She ended up reading it, and wrote a comment on Myspace. However, Myspace changed their blog format, and I don’t know what she wrote. Although, I’m sure she was hurt by it.
A few weeks ago I looked on her Facebook page, and saw her parents were in an accident. Unfortunately, I didn’t look at the year. The accident had happened a few years ago. It was a stupid mistake on my part for not looking at the year. I wrote her, and asked her if I should send a get well card to her parents. Roxy was not too happy about me writing her. She was still mad about what I had written. She told me to never contact her again.
This is very different for me. I don’t exactly have any girlfriends before Roxy, but the few women I have dated I have remained friends with. I wanted to remain friends or at the very least, be on good terms with her. Again, we share a lot of common friends. I know we will eventually run into each other at one of our religious events. Since I figured it would happen sometime, I thought it would be good for everyone if we remained friends.
I am mad at myself for losing my temper, and writing a public blog. I wish I hadn’t of done that. However, now that I think of it, I believe that it wouldn’t have made a difference. Roxy had deleted me as a friend on her accounts, and she does not want to talk to me. If break-ups are supposed to be weird and hard for everyone, well then, I guess I am no exception to that rule.