Sunday, February 27, 2011

Adrian Fakes A Spiritual Experience, Part 2

Feb. 23, 2009

Current mood:devious
This is Part 2 of this post.  If you haven't read Part 1, read it before you read this post.  Also remember that all names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

So, when last I left off, I had just pissed off my girlfriend Roxy.  We were leaving Linda's house, and were on our way back to Roxy's place, and I just started laughing.  I'll admit, I am bad to laugh at my own jokes.  I was thinking just how brillant I was, and how I had pulled one over on at least 50% of the Circle.  However, Roxy was not laughing.  She actually wasn't exactly talking to me.  I then made the mistake of asking her, "You aren't mad at me are you?"  Misssssssssssstake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's when the levees burst.  I do remember Roxy saying all of the following:

Adrian, you are an insensitive asshole! 
How could you do that to our friends? 
You are playing with their (the group member's) feelings and faith. 
You actually had Linda believing that you had changed, and that you are not behaving like the smartass that you usually are.  She thought that you had a real spiritual experience. 
You're a blockhead!
I thought at first you were messing around, but then you seemed so into it, and had such great detail about your experience.  I really thought you had a spiritual experience, but then you pull your usual crap.
It's not bad enough that you messed with their feelings, no.  You had to drag my vagina into this.  You think it's funny to make fun of my vagina?
So yeah, I was put in timeout, and was chewed out for a good 10 minutes straight on the ride home.  Roxy is still mad at me even though she won't admit it.  In order to give her a voice in this, I told her that I would like for her to write her opinion on the matter.  So the following is what she wrote for this blog.  This is really her opinion on the matter, and unedited by me.

Dear Adrian's Blog (written as though you are not in the room):

     Generally, I think Adrian's jokes are hilarious if not endearingly random.  However, dear reader, let me go back to the hour proceeding this event for more perspective before I launch into my dissertation/ defense of my reaction. 

   You see, my family is intuitive.  I'm not talking about palm readers at renaissance fairs; I mean bona fide we've-been-tested-proof-positive by ISPR and we have something unexplainable going on.  (This is not to say that I don't have a good amount of healthy skepticism simply because a.) some of this crap really does seem to be too weird to be true and b.) it's not consistent enough to provide true scientific data on.)   One hand has the logical explanation of self-fufilling prophecies and the other hand wonders how I self-fulfilled things that had nothing to do with me.  I grew up in an environment conducive to at least taking things of this nature respectfully.  I don't think of me and my mom as "psychic", or by any means omnipotent.
     So dating is.....very special.  There always comes that point where I have to explain my beliefs and what I grew up with.  That part is really nerve-wracking for me because it's the borderline of me sounding like a total fucking weirdo.  Adrian and I had that discussion before Circle.  I thought it went well.  He didn't say a whole lot, but he didn't say I was psycho either.

   So we went and given that I've been going through a lot lately I wanted to give this guided meditation a hardy shot.  I typically don't like going under with a group and having someone talk aloud while meditating is generally annoying to me, but I am willing to admit I wanted reassurance about the doubts and worries I've been struggling with.  The things I experienced may or may not be true at all and I'm willing to accept that.  So when the group started pressuring to share, I gave a very simple, non-detailed answer.  I didn't lie, I just didn't go into it much.  Adrian, however, began by slipping over to hushedly tell "Linda" while we were all getting paper and markers that he'd had an amazing experience and he just didn't know how to describe on and so forth.  My ears kinda perked up and I got curious as to what was going on.  I mean, I thought he didn't like guided meditations.

     When it was Adrian's turn to share, I was still sitting next to him drawing so I wasn't paying that much attention.  I expected some sort of smart ass answer.   He started going into it and my first thought was, "He's got to be making this up."  But as he went more and more into it, it was so detailed and drawn out I started to think it was more and more possible that he wasn't making it up.  It never occured to me that he was describing a very creatively detailed vagina, much less mine.  Not to mention he totally threw the "L" word in there, and that really piqued it.  Everyone else bought it and was amazed by what a great experience he had.  I was actually proud for about a minute that he took something seriously, even though I didn't get what he was trying to say.    

     After the circle was over we started walking to the car to put things up and I asked him what that was all about.   And he tells me.  And I was so fucking embarrassed.  There are no words that can really describe how embarrassed I was.  Linda totally believed him and had commented how happy she was that he took it seriously, and he had described my vagina in front of everyone.  I have no idea if anyone else had put the pieces together, but the thought that I hadn't made me so mad.  Thank goodness that Linda thought it was a freaking birth experience.  I felt so stupid.

     I got over it, realizing that I was bound to be the victim of one of his pranks sooner or later.  I just didn't think it would've have been in this venue.   I mean, when other people are wholeheartedly sharing personal things, it's not about whether you think it's dumb or not.  For me, that's a respect issue.  It also made me think that he probably thinks I'm a total weirdo because if what he had talked about earlier and now it was completely obvious that he doesn't believe in any of that.  So, wrapping all of that up into a neat little package: I was disappointed and irritated.  I felt guilty about being so upset by it later when Adrian pointed out that my last boyfriend was boring and he isn't (no, definately not).    

So there's my 2 cents worth.

Sincerely, Roxy

Adrian here again.  For the record, 1.  I don't think she is a weirdo.  2.  I do believe in some para-normal phenomenoms  3.  I was not pranking her.  I was pranking the guided meditation.  4.  I am so much more exciting than her last boyfriend.

I think it's best if I give her a while to calm down.  This might take more than flowers and candy to resolve.  I might have to fake cry too.  I just hope that a few months from now all of us will be laughing about this.

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