Sunday, February 27, 2011

14 Things That Roxy's Mom Hates About Me

Apr 6, 2010

Current mood:breezy

I'd like to think I'm a good person.  However my girlfriend's mother does not like me.  It's true.  It's hard for me to believe that, since everyone likes me, but here are a few things that she doesn't like about me.

1.  My hair.  It's so beautiful.  I think she's jealous.  But really, all I have is long hair.  I don't have any piercings or tattoos.

2.  The way I say, "Hullo thar buttsecks!" to everyone including her.

3.  The way I scare her cat.  But honestly, it was only once, and to be fair the cat was pawing at my guitar amp.

4.  The way I allow her dog to lick me on the face.  It's not my fault the dog likes me.  I mean, everyone likes me.  Including animals and small children.

5.  The way I fish.  I'm sorry, but I believe that I should put a line in the water, and not worry too much after that.  I mean, I did catch fish that way.  I don't think that your way to fish is the right and only way to fish.

6.  My sense of humor.  Ok, not everyone gets my sense of humor, but you don't have to hate it.

7.  The way my Mom is nice to her daughter.  Yes, you read that right.  She doesn't like the fact that my Mom is oh so nice to Roxy.  That, is just flat out jealousy.

8.  The fact that I am out of work.  Ok, I can't disagree, but I'm not happy about it either.

9.  The way I talk about guitars, and guitar related things.  I'm sorry, but I really dig music.  I did go to luthier school.  I build and repair the things. 

10.  The fact that I can think for myself.  She's kind of bossy, and I will stand up to her... with a smile.  Well, that drives a lot of people crazy. 

11.  The fact that I go hunting.  She likes the cute animals.  I just have a few words to say about that.  Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

12.  It goes without saying that I am not good enough for her daughter.  Roxy is way out of my league. 

13.  She also said that the guitars that I got for Roxy were actually for me.  (Note:  No they were picked out by Roxy, and they were for her.)

14.  Oh, this is funny.  When Roxy and I had only been dating for six months, Roxy's Mom asked us what our plans for children were.  I told her we were going to adopt a Chinese girl, and have one of our own.  She didn't like that.

* It should be noted that my girlfriend's real name is not Roxy.  That is her code name.

So as I think of more things I will add them.  If anyone else has more things feel free to comment. 

Melanie I'm not sure everyone likes you.

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