All 80's Kids Dreaded... The Rappin' PSA

To this day I am still unnerved by it.  It was one of those things you knew were coming up in the commercial break, but could do nothing about.  The mute button hadn't been invented yet, you know.  That's right, it was the 80's Public Service Announcement.

And like a lot of commercials in the 80's they had a lot to say, but only 30 seconds to say it.  So they decided to "get with the times" and start rapping, err, rappin', about it.  I always dreaded when those PSA's would come on.  I know they were trying to be, "hip," but they were just embarrassing themselves.

Remember those G.I. Joe PSA's?  I must have seen every episode 200 times.  I knew every PSA by heart.  At least they didn't rap in those.

D.A.R.E. was always trying out things.  The best being the famous, "Your brain on drugs."  But for me, the snake man was just the best at being over the top.

Yes, this really aired.

Thank you D.A.R.E.

One of the worst... best?  Best of the worst?  Anyway, there was this one PSA called, "The Suicide Rap."  Of course, it should have more correctly been called, "The Anti-Suicide Rap."  I have looked for it, but can't find it.  I only saw it the one time, but it stuck in my mind.

I thought, "Oh no.  This is going to be bad."  And it was.  I didn't know what social anxiety was back then, but this gave it to me in bundles.

The lyrics were, (To the best of my recollection)

Your Mother, your Father,
Your Brother, Sister too.
Your teacher, preacher, councilor,
It don't matter who!

They were trying to say that you should talk to someone if you felt suicidal. The lyrics above were the chorus to it.  Why do I remember it after so many years?  Because the song was mostly chorus.  They really could have done a better job.  You know, write a few more lyrics?

Here's some of the great/terrible rappin' PSA's.

Never underestimate a deadline and a Casio keyboard.

Someone else had the same idea as me.  See, I'm not the only one who hated 80's PSA's.

Well at least I didn't have to worry about 80's PSA's once it flipped to 1990.  No, I then had to worry about 90's PSA's.  That, of course, deserves it's own blog post.

The Bass! Part 4,

Part 1:  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bass-there-are-no-such-things-as.html

Part 2:  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bass-part-2.html
Part 3:  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bass-part-3-punk-rock-bass.html

So I had been waiting on the bridge to arrive, and it finally did. 

While it was not an exact replacement of the old one, the saddles lined up just fine.  And in the end, that's what's important.

I then had to deal with the pickguard not lining up exactly.  However, the use of a long screw took care of a, now, tiny problem.

As you can see, it worked out pretty good.  It holds rather nicely.

However then came a problem I did not forsee.  This happens with older guitar or bass necks.  With no tension on it, the neck is straight.  But with the strings at full tension the heal kicks up.  So I am torn between having insanely high action, or the frets not being playable from the 12th fret up. 

Now, the normal way to correct this is to yank out the frets below the 12th fret, shave the fingerboard, and replace the frets.  However, the fingerboard is maple, and if I shave it I will have to re-finish it.  Right now, I don't have time for that.  I have to make the bass somewhat playable for the next gig. 

Once we cross that bridge, I will go back and start work on it.  I might be able to shave the frets down, and make it playable.  But I'll deal with that when I get there. 

I knew I would be a pain to put this thing together, but I didn't think it would be "THIS" much of a pain.  I did a lot more work on this thing than I had planned to. 

But here's the result.  Not too bad.

How a Few Jackholes Ruined Halloween For My Entire Childhood

October is my favorite time of year.  I love it.  It's the time in Florida where it goes from 95 degrees to a more manageable 82 degrees.  It's the only time of the year that the humidity drops under 50%.  And of course there is candy.  So much candy.  Thank you Halloween!

Let's be honest, next to Christmas, Halloween is just the best holiday for kids.  You get free candy from all the people in the neighborhood.  To this day, Halloween is my favorite holiday.  I just absolutely love it. 

However, Halloween was ruined during my entire childhood due to a few jackholes.  Let me start with this.  I was born in 1976.  So I was in first grade in 1982.  So let me set up a few things that were happening in the 80's.  People were very concerned for the children.  It was all about the children.  Looking back, I don't know what is worse.  People overly concerned with children like they were back then, or how they let them run like feral dogs these days.  But I digress.

Stay at home Moms were concerned for the children.  First off there was heavy metal music.

And then there was Satanists.  (Really, it seemed to be a big thing in the 80's.)

On a side note, I've never come across a Satanist.  Not in the 80's, not now.  But for some reason, everyone was sure they were hanging around in the 80's.

But worse of all were the heavy metal Satanists.

But the absolutely the worst thing out there was jackholes putting needles and pins in candy.  Now, this legend had been around since the 60's.  The rumors were that people put poison in candy, however, no one actually knew anyone that happened to.  Even the news couldn't find anyone.  But the new thing was that evil, morally corrupt persons were putting needles and pins in candy. 

Again, it was mostly urban legend, until 1982.  You know what happened then?  Some murderer (and yes I use that word) laced a bunch of aspirin with poison and killed a bunch of people.  If you ever wondered why medicine has all those seals now you know why. 

Here's the Wiki page on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Tylenol_murders

So let's set the stage.  Some waste of a human being poisons people in 1982.  Come Halloween 1982, and the fury of people worrying about people poisoning kids candy is full on crazy mode.

This is a true story.  I was in first grade, and my grade school teacher asks my class why you should have your parents look over your candy when you get it home.  I was the first (and I think only) one to raise my hand, and smartly answer that it was because crazy people were putting needles and razor blades in candy.  You know what happened.  The entire class laughed at me.  (True.  So true.)  I started to cry.  You know how it feels in first grade to have your entire class laugh at you? 

However, my teacher Mrs. Scott was a strong black woman.  That's the short way to say she didn't take no crap and was kind of a bitch to us most the time.  She immediately shut the class up, and told them in no uncertain terms that what I said was true.  And how would they like to bite down on needles and razor blades?  Basically she jumped all over them, and told them that they were going to have to get serious about checking their candy or risk dying.  That really did shut them up.

So you can now see how that sets the stage for trick or treating in the 80's.  My parents did what they thought was the responsible thing.  For me there was no costume.  There was no trick or treating.  There was no candy.  That's right.  I was not allowed to go trick or treating.  And we're not talking about just one year.  We're talking about every year except for one. 

And that one year I went to three houses.  My little old lady neighbor on the left.  My little old lady neighbor on the right.  And my babysitter.  That was it.  No other houses.  And you know what my Mom did when I got home?  That's right.  She went through all my candy.  All nine pieces.  And the funny thing, she found one Mini-Crunch bar that had a corner kind of torn, and she threw that out.  (Really, I can't make this stuff up.)

Other than that one Halloween, I never went trick or treating.  At the house, we gave out plenty of candy.  Lot's of people knew our family, and our house was on the main drag so people knew we were good folks to get candy from.   It really made me angry.  Here we gave out a bunch of candy to all these kids, a lot of them I went to school with, but I couldn't go get candy.  Year after year after dismal year this happened.

Now years later, and also thanks to Snopes, we know that most of this was urban legend and old wives tales.  Seriously, kids these days have the internet and have no idea about old wives tales.  But when I was a kid I'm sure they took up at least 15% of my day.  In all fairness I did have women teachers through grade school. 

Basically, it took urban legends combined with old wives tales, with just one or two "real" cases plus that jackhole who poisoned the Tylenol bottles to ruin Halloween for my entire childhood.  I realize every parent does the best they can.  My parents just didn't want to take the chance of me getting hurt.  I can't fault them with that.  I just lay the fault with the previous named jackholes. 

You'd think that would have ruined me for Halloween.  I mean, just by writing this post you can see just how bitter I still am over what happened during my childhood.  But no.  It is still my favorite holiday.  But still, the inner kid in my still wants to go trick or treating.

Editor's Note:  For those of you who think I am taking "artistic license" with this, take a read of this Snopes article. 

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/mayhem/needles.asp

The Bass! Part 3, Punk Rock Bass

Part 1:  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bass-there-are-no-such-things-as.html

Part 2:  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bass-part-2.html

So I have been having problems with the wiring.  Seriously, I've been working something like a week on it.  But instead of making a long story out of it, I'll just say this.  It seems one of the volume pots was bad, and not sending enough signal through to the tone pot.  That's why I couldn't get the tone pot to work.

I do want to say now that the volume is LOUD!!!  Now that I have a proper working volume pot, it's surprising just how loud these Dragonfire active pickups are.  I can't wait to get strings on this bass.

And simply put, I yanked out everything, and started with all new parts.

So after getting all the electronics working, I made holes for all the screws, and fitted the pickguard and output jack. 

Even though I don't have the bridge yet, I used my straight edge to get a proper angle on how I should shim the neck.  I used a rather thick piece of wood, and shimmed it.  It came out exactly how I wanted.  I may have to adjust it further once I get the bridge in, but it's a good start.

So onto the pictures!!!

So the bass looks very worn and punk rock to me.  It was a great bass to get some practice in on a few things.  More to come when I get the bridge in the mail, and get the bass finally set up.

The Bass! There Are No Such Things As Universial Parts

I had a friend ask me about this Cort bass he acquired.  It was just a neck and body.  It was missing the pickguard, pickups, and electronics.  I told him it would cost more to get it up and running than to buy a used Fender MIM Jazz Bass at Guitar Center.  So in an act of kindness/vengeance he did something very kind/evil to me.  He gave it to me.

This is kind of two-fold good/bad.  I love all things musical.  But even for a roughed up bass that needs more work than it deserves, I just can't let go.  I can't let it go.  So I started work on it.

First off, the frets were shot.  I can do a re-fret in my sleep, so that was the first thing to be done.  And to be honest, the old frets came out easier than any other instrument I've worked on.  So this one really needed some work.

Okay, that's the quick version.  I didn't want to bore you with detail.  Let's say, it's done, Boo ya!

Next, look at this:

You know, the problem with this P-Bass?  It's not a PJ Bass!!!!!!  So I decided to add a Jazz pickup to it.  That means I moved the output jack.  You can see where I drilled the hole for it. 

Let's move on.  Here's the nice little hole I drilled for the Jazz pickup.

I decided to give the Dragonfire active pickups a try.  I was thinking about GFS pickups, but let's be honest, Artec makes all the overseas pickups, I figure there couldn't be too much difference between the two, but that will be in another post.

Here is me fitting the Jazz Bass pickup.

And here is me trying to fit the pickguard to the body.

This is going to be tough.  The Cort has it's own type of pickguard.  So I am making due with what I have.  I had to widen the pickup route for the pickup.  I may have to route out the wood to fit these P-Bass pickups.  I will also have to route out a spot for the truss rod adjuster.  I will then have to make all new holes for the screws.  Not to mention, a new bridge is on it's way from Hong Kong. 

Here's something that I have never encountered before.  When Dragonfire pickups shipped the parts, they included the correct pots.  However, they didn't send any washers, lock washers, or nuts.  What's up with that?  I've never had that happen before.  Never.

So obviously my work is far from done.  What does that mean?  Another blog post of course!  Stay tuned.  I may get a working bass, I may get a pile of junk, who knows?

The Boy Who Walked Into A Tornado, And Came Out An Idiot

... A story from my youth.

Dr. House said it best when he said, "Everyone lies."  Well, everyone does lie, but kids are the worst at it.  I don't know if it's that their brains aren't working at 100% capacity, or if they think it's part of being imaginative.  Either way, kids lie...badly.

Then there are the kids who take it to the next level.  They continue to lie even when everyone knows they're an idiot, and no one is believing them.  This is a story about one of those kids.  I can't even remember this kid's name.  I can't even remember what he looks like.  But I remember the complete train-wreck of a conversation I had with him.

It started with a tornado.

Actually it started with a bunch of us, some 10 year old kids, talking about some recent tornados that had hit the mid-west.  It had been all over the news since they had done a bunch of damage to homes.  I remember how Tom Brokaw talked about the wind speeds would blow even harder than the hurricanes that hit us here in Florida.  The wind speeds could get up to 200 MPH, thus destroying anything in their path.

So this kid, I'll call him "Lil' Timmy," says that he's been inside a tornado.  Well, you can imagine what a ruckus this caused for a bunch of 10 year olds.  No one argues a subject to a well beaten, well rotted, dead horse like a group of 10 year olds. 

So Lil' Timmy goes on that he just walked up to the tornado, and while the winds were bad, once you got inside the tornado it was just fine.  There were no winds, and everything was peaceful once you got inside of the tornado.  So not only was he saying that he walked up to a tornado, he was saying that he walked inside of it, and it was totally chill.  He just sat back, relaxed, and had a grand time inside of the tornado. 

Of course, no one believed him, and massive name calling ensued.  I can't remember much of Lil' Timmy like his name or face, but I do remember that everyone thought he was an idiot, and he basically confirmed it. 

If I remember correctly, 10 year old me would have gladly shoved Lil' Timmy in the general direction of a tornado just to be rid of him.

The 80's Attack! Movie Review: The Adventures of Hercules 2

So here it is.  Late night on a Sunday.  Nothing good comes is on TV when it is technically Monday at 2:00 AM.  But then, I spot something on Showtime Family.  Something that came from the 80's.  My childhood reborn.  The Adventures of Hercules staring Lou Ferrigno.  (1985.)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089271/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Hercules

Here's the funny thing.  This is not the movie that I thought I remembered.  That was "Hercules."  Also staring Lou Ferrigno.  I'm not sure if I ever saw this one.  This one is much, much worse, and a lot cheesier.

Here's the highlights.

This would make a great drinking game.

Dude, was that a chick with a codpiece?

Hey, the actors lips don't line up with their mouths.

The sets look like they were designed by high school kids in their shop class.  The same goes for the costumes.  Maybe the 3rd shift in a Korean factory.

80's hair!

80's makeup!

80's boobs!!!!!  Big but natural.

The acting is worse than 70's porn, but better than 80's porn.

I know these "special effects" are cost tens of dollars back then..... but it's just hilarious today.  They are overusing the laser lights that TRON used.  Maybe they are borrowed laser effects from the 60's studio guys who did the original "Star Trek."

Seriously reduced budget from the first movie.  The guys from GWAR have better costumes.  (Honestly)

Seriously, I've got to get this on DVD, and then get a bottle of something.  This would be a great movie to drink to.  I wouldn't recommend LSD or pot because I don't believe in doing illegal drugs.  Only the legal ones.  Therefore, I would suggest some form of pain killer that you could only get from your doctor.  Then this movie would be really great.

Oh this is interesting.  Zeus, King of all Gods, is on the moon.  Yea Moon God!

They totally ripped off the "Clash of the Titans" Medusa scene.  It just wasn't as good, and that's a bit of an understatement.

So the main point of this movie is that four Gods have stolen seven lightning bolts from Zeus, and if he doesn't get them back the Moon will crash into the Earth.  Okay.

During the final fight, King Minos turns into a giant laser beam T-Rex.  Hercules turns into a giant laser beam gorilla.  Honestly, even I can't make this up.

Ooh, I can get both from Amazon for only $9.89.  I know what a bunch of people are getting me for my birthday.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00094ARU0?tag=coldfusionvideor&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=B00094ARU0&adid=1WP6VJ3Q59NTAFT3K9N1&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.coldfusionvideo.com%2Farchives%2Fadventures-of-hercules-the-1985%2F