The Angel's Trumpet Plant In My Yard Is Mocking Me

I have written about this particular plant before.  Read this to understand where I am coming from.

http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/05/im-not-sure-how-i-feel-about-angels.html

The problem with this particular plant is that, it is becoming a tree.  And it's not exactly supposed to do that.  Even Wikipedia says it's a plant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brugmansia

I wrote the first blog one year and nineteen days ago.  The main problem I have with this particular plant is that, it's more like a tree, and it is getting in the way of my mowing.  I know you are thinking, "Well dumbass, get a pair of trimmers and trim that thing."  Well, I've brought that up, and I was told I wasn't allowed to cut it. 

I was told I had to wait for it to free back during the winter.  Now if you notice the dates of these two blogs you will have noticed that winter came and went, and the plant (now as big as a tree) did not freeze back.  It got bigger.  Much bigger.

Here's a far away shot of it, so you can see how big it is next to the old oak tree.

Again, I know you might be thinking, "Well, that's not that big."  That's when I say, "Yes, but it's a plant.  Not a tree."

Here's what it looks like when you stand underneath it.

Here are some of the dying flowers on it.

Again, normally I really could not care about this stupid plant, but....

1.  It's gotten out of control.  What was supposed to be a plant has become a tree.
2.  I can't mow near it without it trying to decapitate me.
3.  It laughs in the face of being frozen.
4.  I am not allowed to cut it back. 
5.  I'm still afraid that the stupid kids in the neighborhood are going to try and get high off the flowers and end up killing themselves.  Really, who decided to plant this thing here?

One of these days something is going to have to be done about it.  And I will be there when that happens.

The Boy Who Walked Into A Tornado, And Came Out An Idiot

... A story from my youth.

Dr. House said it best when he said, "Everyone lies."  Well, everyone does lie, but kids are the worst at it.  I don't know if it's that their brains aren't working at 100% capacity, or if they think it's part of being imaginative.  Either way, kids lie...badly.

Then there are the kids who take it to the next level.  They continue to lie even when everyone knows they're an idiot, and no one is believing them.  This is a story about one of those kids.  I can't even remember this kid's name.  I can't even remember what he looks like.  But I remember the complete train-wreck of a conversation I had with him.

It started with a tornado.

Actually it started with a bunch of us, some 10 year old kids, talking about some recent tornados that had hit the mid-west.  It had been all over the news since they had done a bunch of damage to homes.  I remember how Tom Brokaw talked about the wind speeds would blow even harder than the hurricanes that hit us here in Florida.  The wind speeds could get up to 200 MPH, thus destroying anything in their path.

So this kid, I'll call him "Lil' Timmy," says that he's been inside a tornado.  Well, you can imagine what a ruckus this caused for a bunch of 10 year olds.  No one argues a subject to a well beaten, well rotted, dead horse like a group of 10 year olds. 

So Lil' Timmy goes on that he just walked up to the tornado, and while the winds were bad, once you got inside the tornado it was just fine.  There were no winds, and everything was peaceful once you got inside of the tornado.  So not only was he saying that he walked up to a tornado, he was saying that he walked inside of it, and it was totally chill.  He just sat back, relaxed, and had a grand time inside of the tornado. 

Of course, no one believed him, and massive name calling ensued.  I can't remember much of Lil' Timmy like his name or face, but I do remember that everyone thought he was an idiot, and he basically confirmed it. 

If I remember correctly, 10 year old me would have gladly shoved Lil' Timmy in the general direction of a tornado just to be rid of him.