That Will Be The Death Of Me, Part 3

Part 1.  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/04/that-will-be-death-of-me.html

Part 2.  http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2015/01/that-will-be-death-of-me-part-2.html

Well it's over.  It seems that I have outlived the palm tree that I was sure that was going to be the end of me.  Of course, I was blamed for killing it, so I have no idea if I was overturning my own prophecy or just not knowing how to trim a tree.

Here is what is left of the palm.

 

Just a mound of nothingness. 

Here's a wide view.

So now comes the question, "What do I do?"  I mean, I have now outlived the tree that was destined to kill me.  I worry that another tree will take it's place, and rise up to avenge it's fore-bearer. 

This is not the time for me to rest on my laurels, but to safeguard against any and all plants that might try to rise up, and strike me down.

That, or I can quit being so damn dramatic. 

That Will Be The Death Of Me, Part 2

To understand this post a little better, read part 1.

http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/04/that-will-be-death-of-me.html

A funny thing happened to the tree I hate.  A few months ago it stopped growing limbs.  And then, the limbs that it had started dying.  For some strange reason, it seems the tree that I thought would be the death of me, has itself, died. 

I didn't expect this.  I had expected this thing to outlive my Father, and then I would have to deal with it.  Now, we have a dead canary island date palm tree that we will both have to try to remove. 

Now this presents a number of problems.  First, this thing may not look too big, but it is heavy.  Next, palm trees are very fibrous, and dull chainsaw blades almost immediately.  What really makes this thing a pain is that, it has giant ball roots, and a ton of work will have to be put in to unearth them.  I'm also afraid that all the plants that surround the palm tree will be damaged as we try to move the canary island date palm. 

There is always the option of letting the palm tree sit there and rot a bit.  That way, it will make it easier to cut and move.  However, that will make the whole driveway look terrible.  No one wants to have a dead tree right in their front circle. 

So I will have to confer with my still very much alive Father on what he wants to do with it.  The one thing I am sure of is that, I don't want another one of those canary island date palm trees placed back in there. 

That Will Be The Death Of Me

It started almost twenty years ago.  I was an arrogant, angry kid just out of high school.  I was going to the local community college two or three times a week for some sort of an education.  To make pocket money for all the important stuff, I took the only job that would hire someone like me.  Landscaping.  It just so happened that the next street over from where I lived was a giant landscaping company.  So I got hired, was able to work part time hours, and made pretty decent pocket change compared to others my age.  Not great, but still a little more than other menial jobs.

It was there that I encountered what would be my plant nemesis.  The Canary Island Date Palm.  The first time I had to deal with one of the cut branches, it cut me up one side of my arm to the other.  Note that I was wearing work gloves at the time.  It didn't cut my hands, but it did a number on my arms.  You see, the Canary Island Date Palm has these huge thorns where the branches meet the base of the tree.  The problem was a lot of the properties had these all over the place, and each one needed cut four times a year or so. 

Years ago I let everyone in the house know that one of these palms would be the death of me.  Still, my Father for whom cruelty has never been an issue decided to put one right smack in the middle of the driveway.  Don't believe me?  Look at this:

Yes, that is the front of our house.  And for those of you thinking, "Well, the thorns can't be that bad, can they?"  Take a look at this:

Those things can get up to eight inches long, and can cut right through a work glove. 

When my Father first bought the palm it was short and stocky.  However, it still weighed at least 400 pounds.  It has these two huge ball roots on it.  For years it didn't actually grow upwards.  It just put down roots for years.  The last few years however it has started to grow upward.  This presents another problem.  When I would mow around it, I would try to cut the grass near the base of the tree.  However, I could never get that close since the thorns would cut me to pieces.  The other problem with it getting taller is that, the thorns are now near my face, and have cut my face numerous times. 

My cruel Father says that it's not my problem.  He'll deal with it.  But it doesn't really work out that way does it?  I have to deal with it when I am landscaping.  I also told him that those things live a long time.  I'll have to deal with it when he dies.  I can't burn it down.  I can't cut it down with a standard chainsaw.  Palm trees are notorious for being impossible to cut down with a chainsaw.  Or at least, regular chainsaws.  No, I will have to pay a tree company to come and take it away.  Right now that would run $2000.  With inflation, I'd hate to think what it will be in a few years. 

I suspect that will be mowing one bright and sunny day.  I will be on my riding lawnmower, and one of those thorns will cut my throat wide open.  It will be exactly like how Catalyn Stark got her throat slit open during the Game of Thrones, "Red Wedding" episode.

I begged my cruel and unusual Father to let me put something else in the circle.  I was thinking Stonehenge, but a Mini-Stonehenge.  They sell them on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Your-Stonehenge-Mega-Mini/dp/0762443359/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397546738&sr=8-1&keywords=stonehenge+mini

Okay I'll need it a touch bigger than that, but you get the point.

Yes, I could do something like that.  Maybe I could use cinder blocks, and masonry found at the local Home Depot.  That would keep the cost down.

But it won't happen.  I know that I will be struck down by that Canary Island Date... nay, Killing Palm. 

Let the final words on my tombstone be this:

A Canary Island Date Palm walks on the water.
A Canary Island Date Palm walks by the sea.
A Canary Island Date Palm walks wherever it wants.
But no Canary Island Date Palm walks on me.

You know if that will fit and all.

Amateur Handyman: Back Step Man

Yes, it's another new project given to me from my Girlfriend Lili (not her real name.)  As I've stated in the other Amateur Handyman posts, the people who lived in the house before Lili did their best to destroy the place.  So, little by little we are putting the place back together. 

In a previous post I showed how I added handrails to the back steps.  I had to do that before I painted them.  But in-between the build and the paint comes the paint primer.  We were in luck in that, the folks at Home Depot had a new converter for mixing the Kiltz 2 primer 2 gallon bucket.  Since we would be putting down red paint, we needed the primer to be a medium gray.  And they were able to do that.  It came out great.

So here's the back steps after the handrails.

Now it's time for a little paint primer.

I have to say, people either love or hate the Kiltz 2.  I love it.  It dries fast, and goes on easy.  I am excited about putting the red paint down soon.  And hey, that means I will get to post a "Part 2" for this blog.  Alright!

Free Is For Me

My girlfriend Lili (not her real name) had just moved a few months ago.  She's still getting the new place together.  I have been working on the outside of the house taking care of a few things.  But there were still a few things that she needed on the inside of the house.  That's where I come in.  I like to take a peek at Craigslist to see what is for sale, and what is being given away for free. 

Something kind of wild happened.  A couple who lived about three miles from me were moving to Baltimore, and decided to give away the things they didn't need.  So I managed to snag a few things.

First up, a book cabinet.

I had to use some glue and screws to get it to hold together properly, but it's as good as new right now. 

Next up is something all of us in Florida can use.  A box fan.  Seriously, they are worth their weight in gold.  Also in this picture you can see the extension cord I also got for free.

It's one of the old timey metal ones that you can't kill.  Not like the new all plastic ones.

I also scored a bathroom rug.  It was new and unused. 

And speaking of rugs, here's another free rug story.  Lili's place could really use a rug.  Since she likes purple I started searching for a purple rug.  But then it occurred to me, I was certain I had seen a purple rug somewhere before.  Then it hit me.  When I had a small business back in 2001, I had a purple rug for my shop so my feet wouldn't hurt when I stood there working on things.

But then I had to think.  Where did I put that rug.  I mean, rugs just don't disappear.  Then it hit me... again.  It was underneath my work bench with all sorts of things sitting on top of it.  I found it, pulled it out from underneath all my junk, and gave it a good cleaning.  I took it up to Lili's place, and it fit in the main living room perfectly.  I didn't have to cut or alter it at all.

This is a picture of only the corner of the rug.  I don't think she would like it if I took a picture of the inside of her house.

The one thing I forgot to take a picture of might have been my greatest (free) score.  I asked the lady who was giving away free stuff if she had any old paint.  She said yes.  In fact, she had quite a bit.  I grabbed 12 one gallon cans and 2 five gallon buckets of paint.  After I checked out which paint was good, and which was bad, I had about 5 gallons of white paint, 4 gallons of red paint, and one gallon of blue paint. 

Since Lili has been making over the house in red and white, I was ecstatic to get that much red and white paint.  Soon we will be painting the front and back steps, so all we need to get right now is the primer. 

So that was a great haul for one day.  Even though the people who were moving were giving away a lot of stuff, I only took what I needed.  Or should I say, what Lili needed. 

I will keep a look out for good things, and hopefully get to write a blog about it. 

Adrian: Amateur Handyman

To understand this post you might want to read these blogs first.

Adrian: Amateur Gardener
http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2013/03/adrian-amateur-gardener.html

Adrian: Amateur Gardener, Part 2
http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2013/03/adrian-amateur-gardener-part-2.html


It all started with a Girlfriend, Lyli (not her real name.)  And then it continued when she made a much needed move into a new place.  It seems the previous tenants did their best to destroy the place she moved into.  So the landlords (an old man and his sons) have been doing their best to repair and restore the house as quickly as they can.  But Lyli wants to put a few add-ons to the house. 

That's where I come in.  I can repair a guitar, and do fine work, but can I do house repairs?  Well, it's either put up or shut up, and I'm gonna put up.  It's time for me to become Mr. Do it all handyman.  It's kind of like being a husband with a honey-do list, except for the marriage part.  Luckily I have taken pictures of everything.  And what's a blog without big ole pictures?

First up was building the plant beds.  The pictures from that can be seen in the two blogs I posted at the top of the page.

Next up was laying patio bricks.  Lyli wanted them in a checkerboard (red and white) pattern.  So first we had to clean out the back of her Ford Explorer, and then make the trip to Home Depot.  However, we couldn't fit 136 bricks in the back of her truck.  We could only get 80.  Which lead to the interesting thought about moving really heavy patio bricks. 

1.  You move them from the shelf to the cart.  2.  You move them again from the cart to the truck.  3.  Then you move them yet again from the truck to the ground.  Now these things weigh a ton.  Or at least 800 pounds, from the best I can figure.  Seriously, 80 bricks time 10 pound a piece?  That's 800 pounds.  You should have seen how the Explorer was sitting low.

But after all my moving the front looked like this:

And even the dog enjoys it.

Now obviously, you can see where some tiles still need to go.  But I definitely know that the other 56 needed tiles would not fit in the truck.  With that much weight in it, it might have been scraping the ground.  But I'm happy with it so far.  I get the rest finished up on the next trip to Home Depot.  And hey!  I'll get another blog out of it.

Next up was the missing railing.  I think the house had it before, but it might have rotted or been trashed by the previous tenants.  So here's the before pic.

As you can see, no rails.  But I did something about it.  Here's the after picture.

As you can see, I added the wood (the wood without paint on it) support and rails.  I added the top beam so that Lyli can hang wind chimes from it.  Here's a better view of it.

As you can see, I already added the nails into the wood to hang stuff.  That way I don't have to do it later.  I like thinking ahead like that.

So next up is the planting.  Now that I have the garden beds built it was time to add some plants next to the bromeliads.  Here's the before picture.

And here's the plants we bought.  Note:  We were able to buy these from a number of vendors at the flea market as well as Home Depot.

So I was working with very little daylight when I started planting them.  I wanted to finish before it was dark so I could take pictures.  Luckily, the camera I was using has a really strong flash.  So if these pictures look a little odd, it's because it was almost dark when I took them.

So that's where I am so far.  Here's the future projects I will be attempting over the next few weeks.  1.  I will complete the brick patio.  2.  Primer and paint will be added to the front door, steps, and ramp.  (It will be an awesome shade of red.)  3.  Rails will be added to the back steps.  4.  Then the back porch will be primed and painted.  5.  Then the painting will be moved inside.  The kitchen needs painted.  And yes, it will be red.  6.  Then the trellises need to be replaced, and Lyli wants them painted as well.  7.  Once summer comes around I may start to plant more plant beds. 

The good news is that this will give me plenty of blogs to write about.  I feel that I have been slacking lately on writing my blogs.  But more importantly, Lyli is really appreciative of the repairs I have been making. 

On a funny note, I told her that she should ask for a discount on her rent for all the repairs she's having done.  It couldn't hurt to ask could it?

Adrian: Amateur Gardener

So I have something new in my life.  That would be a girlfriend.  I think it's as big of a surprise to me as it is to everyone else.  And then to add to the surprises she moved only three miles from me.  I couldn't really blame her as her old place was not very nice.  It was also in a not so nice section of a town that was far away from both her work and favorite hangout. 

She is renting a mobile home that sits on a 1/3 of an acre of property.  She really wanted it for her dog who needs some space to run around.  He's a little over two years old, but he still acts like a puppy.  So this place works out really good for both of them, as she doesn't have to put up with apartment type neighbors and he gets to run around and exercise.

The people who rented before her did their best to destroy the place.  That's what the landlord flat out told us.  He was more than happy to rent to my girlfriend in that, she expressed an interest in rebuilding the place inside and out.  She talked to him about adding plants to the place, as it is kind of sparse.  He was all in favor of that, and told her she could do whatever she wanted as far as plants were concerned.

And this is where I come in.  I am good at manual labor, but I have to admit that I am an amateur gardener.  The only gardening that I have been successful at it online playing Wizard 101.

So I was told to come up with a plan.  I have given it a lot of thought, and have come up with four spots to start off with. 

First I have to contend with what is available.  There is a lot of land, but due to the heavy cover of oak trees it is mostly a barren sandlot.

That's okay.  I will just have to get creative.  I was thinking of running/building a wooden fence along the front of the house. 

My girlfriend knows someone who knows someone, and can get me some leftover two by fours.  It may look a little odd until I slap some paint on it.  Then it will start to look spiffy. 

I was thinking about planting some giant bromeliads behind the fence/ in front of the house.  Those things will grow in anything down here in Florida.

Next to them/ around them would be a good place to start growing some Aloe Vera plants.  My girlfriend has always had them, and they are really useful to have around.

 

 

Then to spice up the color a little I would add some of those small floppy ear type plants.  I'll admit, I have no idea what the different ones of them are called.  But I do have a bunch of plant people I know who can tell me what they are.  All I have to do is show them this picture.

 



So that's what I am thinking for the front.  When I say from the front, I mean from the house door and going left.  That's the longest part of the house.  From the door going right is a nice small spot.  However I think I have an idea.  I am thinking of doing a raised bed.  There are a couple ways to do this.  The first is kind of simple and involves using concrete blocks.  It looks like this.

That's simple enough, and won't take much time to put together.  Then there's the other way.  It involves using red bricks.  It would be a bit more expensive, and take more time to put together, but it would look sweet.

 

Okay, that takes care of the front.  I was thinking of using the front for the decorative plants.  However, the one thing my girlfriend really wants is a herb garden.  There could be a few vegetables thrown in there, but mainly for herbs.

 



However due to having a dog it would need to be fenced in.  I do like this type of fencing.

But I have to be honest, the dog is really, really good at jumping.  He's also really good at building up speed and jumping.  So that kind of fence isn't going to stop him.  I was thinking of putting up the wooden type fence that would match the front fence, and then stapling chicken wire to it.

The next step involves planting tomatoes.  As you look at the property, the very front right corner has a lot of sunlight hitting it.  It's the only place where grass grows on the property.  I thinking about setting up a raised bed strictly for tomato plants.

The plant would be able to get a fair amount of sunlight there.  Not too much, not too little.  And the good news about Florida is that, we get crazy amounts of rain all year long.  And anytime tomatoes get rain, they grow till they want to explode. 

So that's the four main ideas I have for garden beds.  I don't think I would be overdoing it.  I am trying to stick with plants that are native and not hard to raise.  I am lucky in that, I have a lot of people around me who know the ins and outs of plants.  I may not know much about plants, but I am good for the manual labor.  With those things combined, I feel that this garden will be a success.