New Guitar Pedal Day: TC Electronics Grand Magus: A Review For New Guitarists

I remember the excitement I felt when I bought my first guitar.  Unlike most guitarists who start with a guitar that resembles a piece of gloried plywood, I actually had a pretty good guitar.  I still have it, and it's still a dang good guitar.

But I also remember the first time I walked into Mars Music and tried to buy strings for that guitar.  Before I purchased it, my guitar had been sitting a long time and the strings were beyond dead.  As a cello player I had the experience to know to put new strings on it.  There was no doubt about that.  I could hear how completely lifeless they were.  Not to mention rusty.

So I walk up to the guitar string counter at Mars Music.  There were over 200 types of strings hanging on the wall.  I ask the salesman "What strings do I need to put on this guitar?"

He said, "He didn't know.  They were all good."

I just looked at him, and thought, "Um, isn't this your job?"

For the record my guitar was/is a 1998 Paragon Music Center (PMC) copy of a Joe Pass hollow-body guitar.  It was built in the same factory as the Epiphones at that time.  It's only difference was the headstock design.  It actually came stock with Epiphone pickups.

So I ask the salesman, "Well, I see the sets come in different sizes.  What size do I need?"

He asked if he could check out my guitar.  I said, "Sure."

He replied, "Yeah, those are 10's on there."

"So I guess I should buy some 10's?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, what brand do you recommend?"

"I dunno."

I started to get a little perturbed.  "I just bought this guitar a few days ago.  I need to put some strings on it.  What should I do?  I don't know jack squat about any of the brands."

So he ended up handing me a pack of GHS 10's.  In some weird way I'm glad he did.  After playing for 20 years I like GHS strings the best.  They have the best bite to them, and they work for my style of playing.

But then a month goes by, and I decide I need a distortion pedal.  Again, I go up to the Mars Music counter, and see hundreds of pedals.  What am I to do?  Where do I start?  This time I asked a different salesman.  Might I say this was also before YouTube and websites that would let you hear what a pedal sounded like before you went to the store.

I tell him what I want, and he says, "Why not try out the DOD Grunge pedal?"  Long story short, I ended up trying it out, and buying it.  I'll say this, it was a good starter pedal.  But also looking back there were much better choices out there.

Now I think of today's new guitarists.  They have ten times the choices that I had!  That goes from guitars, pedals, pickups, amps, picks, cables, mods, etc.  Where does a new guitarist start?  The good news is they have YouTube and guitar forums.  That's a huge help.  I personally have learned a lot about electronics from the internet.

One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome was music's "marketing language."  You see, a brand can't really say, "This is our take on Marshall's blah, blah, blah."  No, that's trademark infringement.  So companies have these code words they use to describe when their gear has a similar sound to another companies' product.

It goes like this:

American Rock Sound = Fender.
British Rock Sound = Marshall.
California Sound = Mesa Boogie.

When they can't say "Les Paul" or "Les Paul style" guitar, they say, "LP" or "Single Cutaway."
When they can't say "Stratocaster" they say, "Double Cutaway."

If you read study enough and look around the internet you'll start to pick up the lingo.  And why is that important?  Because like I said earlier, todays' musician has more choices than ever before.

When I started the very first distortion pedal everyone usually bought was the Boss DS-1 Distortion.

It's a simple circuit and has been used by many famous guitarists despite being a relatively cheap pedal.  For years you could buy one new for $39.99.  Heck, Kurt Cobain used this pedal on a lot of Nirvana's songs, especially on the their first release "Bleach."  

Today, the pedal market is at an all time high for the sheer number of pedals on the market.  You have the brands that have been there for a while, "Boss, Digitech, and Electro Harmonix."  You have also more custom builders now than there ever has been.  And then you have everyone at every price point in-between.  

Lately TC Electronics has been making some great pedals at a dang good price point.  During a holiday sale two years ago they had a special going at Guitar Center.  Three pedals for $99.  You have to remember back when I bought that DOD Grunge pedal, it cost $54.99 in 1998.  

With inflation think of what that pedal would cost today.  The CPI Inflation Calculator says that would be $87.85 in today's money.  And those were the cheap pedals!  So this leads to the question, "Well, how good can TC Electronics' pedals be if they are that inexpensive?"

To be honest, I have found them shockingly good.  I love their Choka Tremolo pedal.  The Nether Octave is a great octave for it's price point.  The El Mocambo is one of the best Tubescreamer clones I have heard.  I'll say it this way, it works for me.  It may not be for everyone, but it works for me.  

So when I saw that TC Electronic had a pedal called the Grand Magus I was immediately interested.

What surprised me was how many I found on the used market. Unlike a lot of TC Electronics' products this one didn't have as many good reviews.  I listened to a few clips of it on the internet, and was really on the fence about it.  It sold new for $50, and used for $25 plus shipping.  

I ended up pulling the trigger on one, and couldn't wait to plug it in when it arrived.  I immediately loved it.  So what changed my mind?  There are quite a few reasons.  Let me start at the beginning. 

One of the best pieces of advice I can give any beginning metal guitarists, is that, there are two main ways of EQing your amp.  I'm going to keep it overly simple because again, I want to speak to a beginner.  First up is what I'll call, "The Metallica way."  On your EQ knobs you turn up your treble and bass, and turn down or (scoop) the mids.  Dimebag Darrell's signature sound was also like this.

Next up, we have what I'll call, "The Slayer way."  Think of Slayer's song, "Seasons in the Abyss."  That first really heavy cord you hear?  That's mids baby.  Slayer uses what they call the "frowny face" EQ.  They turn town the bass and treble and crank up the mids.  

So the "overly simple" explanation is there are two main EQ's when playing metal.  #1. Scooped mids, or #2. Lots of mids.  Players tend to be in one camp or or the other with no in-between.  The scooped sound is all the rage, but your bass can be lost when playing with an actual bass player.  I'm in the camp that says, "Mids are where the angry lives."

Marshall's sound is known for their full midrange sound.  This is due to their use of EL-34 tubes.  The Grand Magus pedal has a lot of mids.  When you go to the Grand Magus webpage they use every bit of musician lingo to try to let you know this is a Marshall type of sound.

https://www.tcelectronic.com/Categories/Tcelectronic/Guitar/Stompboxes/GRAND-MAGUS-DISTORTION/p/P0CAU#googtrans(en|en)

There are a few reasons I didn't care for the reviews online.  First, recording and making mids sound right is tough.  It tends to come through as buzzy.  Then, when that same clip is played through computer speakers it sounds even worse.  

The other reason I didn't care for the reviews online is for something you wouldn't think of.  The tone control on the Grand Magus pedal is extremely wide.  It's so wide you can get a bad sound out of it.  Think of it this way.  The doom/stoner metal crowd is a big fan of Orange amps.  To me they always sounded muddy with no harmonics, but to each their own.  

Well, the tone control on the Grand Magus is so wide that you can get into that doom/stoner metal territory.  But if you turn the tone control up, you can get that classic Marshall sound.  I also want to give TC Electronic props for having the gain control have such a wide distortion.  You can use this pedal for slight blues breakup to full blown Marshall stack.  One thing you'll learn is a lot of pedals' gain knob maxes out of 12 O'clock.  The Grand Magus makes full use of the gain control.  

I realize I may get a lot of hack on this post.  I'm sure a lot of more experienced musicians will say, "So you think a $25 pedal is good?"  I'm saying I wish when I started it was the first pedal I bought.  It would have been a lot more useful to me than the DOD Grunge.  

And for the record, my "good" pedal is a Hughes and Kettner Tube Factor pedal.  

But I'm not going to tell a new player they should buy a $279 pedal right out of the starting gate.  I'm saying if a new player wants that mid heavy Marshall sound at a decent price, buy a used TC Electronic Grand Magus.  It will be a great decision.  Also if they hate it, they can get their money back on it by selling on Craigslist.  

So to my beginner guitar players.  You have many choices out there.  Remember this.  You vote with your dollars.  That goes for anything in life.  My small amount of advice to you is this.  If I was the salesman at Mars Music, and I had a first time pedal buyer asking me about the first pedal I should buy, it would be the TC Electronic Grand Magus.  (Note: Yes, I realize they didn't exist back in 1998.)  

For those players who say, "No man!  I want that mid-scooped sound!"  Well, you can always buy a Biyang Tonefancier Metal End King.  That will sure scoop the hell out of your mids.

Son of Dog: A Telemarketer And A Madman

I've always said it.  I if a telemarketer calls my house, they are fair game.  In this house I am the hunter and they are the prey.  They called into my property, my lair, my wildlife management area.  If they want to fuck with me, I'm going to fuck with them even harder.

For a while we were getting many scam calls a day.  Almost all of them were from the Philippines.  They would say they were from either: 1. Microsoft.  2. The IRS.  3.  Social Security.  4.  A Law Enforcement Agency.  5.  Apple.  6.  The Cable Company.  7.  One of the major banks, usually Bank of America.

So not only were they telemarketers, they were scammers.  They were trying to steal important personal information for illegal purposes. So guess what?  I'm going to stick it to them without mercy.

After I messed with them, most would tell me, "Fuck you!" and hang up.  However, one time things went completely off the rails.  Every day  I would answer the phone in different accents.  That day I happened to pick a very refined British accent.  That's when "Tom" called from "Microsoft."  I always thought it was funny the spammers were always named, "John, Tom, Robert, or Tim."  That was a dead giveaway.

So "Tom" says (with a strong Filipino accent) that he's with Microsoft, and my computer has been hacked.  He wants to help me fix it.

Me (Again, in a posh British accent):  "Oh my.  That sounds serious."

Tom:  "Are you at your computer now?"

Me:  "You sound like quite a young beautiful man."

Tom:  (Tries to continue with his pitch.)

Me:  "Are you circumcised?"

Tom:  (Somewhat confused because he's not sure what I mean.)  "If you can get to your computer I can help you fix it."

Me:  "Tell me Tom.  Are you a homosexual?"

Tom:  (Silence)  Then, in an extremely angry voice:  "You.... you son of dog!!!!!!!!"  Then he starts screaming in Filipino."

Me:  I can't help but start laughing.

Tom:  "Americans are good people!  You are not good people (sic)!"

Me:  "What are you talking about?  Us Americans voted for Trump!  We want to bomb and kill half the world!  We're not good people at all!"

Tom:  (Screaming a mixture of English and Filipino.)

Me:  "Yeah, we want to kill all the foreigners including you!"

Tom:  "You are not a good people (sic)!"

Me:  "I'm not?  You're the one who's lying saying he's from Microsoft when we both know you're not!  C'mon, just admit it's a scam!  You know it is!"

Tom:  (Still screaming a good amount.  I got to give hit to him.  He's got some powerful lungs.)

Me:  "How about those Filipino ladyboys?  Have you ever gotten to fuck one of them?"

Tom:  (Still yelling.  Honestly, I can't remember the last time in my life I set someone off this badly.)

Finally "Tom" hangs up.  I start laughing for the next ten minutes.  When I finally catch my breath and tell my Dad what happened, he explained a few things.  You see, my Dad is a Vietnam veteran.  He said that one of the worst insults you can tell someone in that Southeast Asia is to call them a "son of dog."

Dad went on to say, "You must have really torqued him off if he went straight to calling you that."

"You know, I started off in my nice British accent.  I really tried to come across all proper-like before the shouting match."  I replied.

You know, I really wish I had recorded that call.  I think Jim Florentine would be proud of me.  That call went to below average to epic in half a second.  That call could have been played on Howard Stern for laughs.

To this day I have to consider that my biggest win when it comes to messing with phone solicitors.  I've had some great ones, but I've never had one that completely blew his top at me.  I mean, with all the screaming and yelling I'm surprised a supervisor didn't come over and grab ahold of him.  Again, he had to remember, if he comes into my territory he's fair game.  Boom.

The Swamp Prank: Playing The Long Game

Let's be honest.  I have a weird sense of humor.  It has gotten me into a bit of trouble over the years.  It has cost me friendships and really pissed a few people off.  Sometimes my humor is so off the wall that it goes over people's heads quite a bit of the time.  I was constantly doing this to Wes, one of my best pals I've had in my lifetime.  I would say something, and then five minutes later he would say, "Wait a minute...  Did you mean....?"  Yeah, I'm sneaky like that.

However, when it comes to pranks, anyone can pull off a quick prank.  Think of it as a "Three Stooges pie in your face" prank.  But it takes a genius to pull off the long game.  This is where two things come into play.  My brain and my sister.  My sister and I have been like two Rottweilers pissing on each other's legs the moment she was born.  Needless to say we've gone back and forth with insults, pranks, etc. over the course of our lifetimes.

About fifteen years ago there was a point of contention concerning where/how I mowed the yard.  We had this place in the yard where the water would flood when it rained.  So barely any grass would grow there.  She ended up planting a bunch of plants with thorns in that part of the yard.

Well, I couldn't get the lawn tractor through that part of the yard without it cutting me to shreds.  It was decided that I should skip mowing that part of the yard.  Namely, since it was swamp-like, and those bushes were trying to take root.  So I ended up calling it my "Sister's Swamp."

One day I noticed she dragged a small log over to her part of the swamp.  I asked her why she did that?  She said it was because she was attaching plants to the log.  These types of plants normally attached themselves to trees in the wild, so that's why she decided to do that.

I asked Dad about it.  I said, "Are we really just going to leave a log lying about in the yard?"  He said it wasn't hurting anything, and besides, it was in her area of the swamp.  That, of course, gave me an idea.  Since we have many enormous oak trees around us, they constantly drop limbs and branches.

So when I would find a log, limb, or branch I would just drag it over to her area of the swamp.  But I didn't do this all at once.  I would only add a branch or two once a week.  Sometimes, I would wait two weeks.  But over the course of a year I built up the swamp full of all sorts of rotted wood.

I'm not kidding.  I literally did this over a year's time.  Heck, it may have gone on for two years?  Just little by little I kept adding to the pile.  You know what?  She never noticed.  Dad would see me working out in the yard.  Of course, I would have to pick up sticks and such before I mowed the lawn.  He would see me drag wood off to the swamp, and just give me that look.

Like I said, I was in this for the long game.  But the game became so long that the brush really started to pile up.  I mean, it really looked like an overgrown forest on that side of the house.  When I returned home from work one day I had a surprise waiting for me.  I saw that Dad had pulled the utility trailer over to the side of the yard and loaded it completely full with all the brush from the swamp.  He then hauled all the brush to the dump.

So I don't know if I can say my prank was successful.  I mean, I did get under the skin of my Dad.  But that's wasn't my intended target.  But I still think it's funny that I kept the prank up for as long as I did.  That takes dedication... and a weird sense of humor.  But it mostly takes loads of dedication.

I searched all my photo albums for pictures of the swamp, but couldn't find any.  I remember snapping them long ago, but I think they ended up being lost as I switched computers over the years.  I really wish I still had those photos.  The swamp just looks hilarious and out of place.  It's like, here you have a nice house.  And over here you have this complete wildlife refuge.

Just look at it this way, when God gives you dead branches, you can put it in the yard waste containers or make a swamp.  I made a swamp.  Or possibly a wildlife management area?  But you know what else I made?  One of my top three pranks ever.  So I feel pretty good about that.

New Guitar Day: Slapa Da' Bass Edition

About a month ago I had a longtime friend of mine decide to clear out some of his old basses.  He's a touring musician, and has collected quite a few instruments.  He told me that he's made a lot of friends across the country, and would pick up instruments at great deals.  But all those great deals were taking up space in the house, so a few had to go.

He posted a photo of a Squier Classic Vibe 60's Jazz Bass, and said he was happy to let it go for $100.  I immediately said, "That's an awesome price.  Someone will snatch that up for sure!"  I would have bought it, but I already had a Dean Juggernaut bass.  That's their version of the Fender Jazz Bass.

But then I got to thinking.  I remembered when the Classic Vibe Jazz Bass series came out.  It was everything I wanted in a bass.  The Olympic white with red tortoiseshell pickguard was the exact color scheme I love in a Fender type guitar/bass.  I also really liked the fact that the neck was a golden vintage tint with a rosewood fretboard.

After about two weeks I messaged my friend, and asked him, "Say, has anyone bought that bass from you yet?"  Shockingly, he said, "No."  When those basses were new they cost $400 plus tax.  $100 was a steal.  So I told him, "I had to have it!  When can I drop by?"

So I dropped in the next day, and handed over the cash.  I wish we could have talked more, but with the Covid-19 craziness happening we had to keep it short.  But it was good to see him, even if for a short time.

I immediately loved the bass.  The set-up was different than how I set up a guitar or bass, but somebody really took the time to make it easily playable.  What has shocked me the most on the entire Squier Classic Vibe series are the pickups.  They have installed some extremely awesome pickups for a guitar or bass at that price point.

Before I go into my tinkering I'll post some photos of her.

I have to say someone had performed a wonder fret-dress on this bass.  It was smooth.  Again, everyone has preferences on how they like their instrument set up.  With this bass I decided to shim under the neck.  This way it would lower the strings from the fifth fret up.

I know I said I loved the pickups, but I still had to tinker with them.  A few weird coincidences happened.  I had a Jerry Sentell Jazz Bass bladed bridge pickup that was going to go into another build.  That build never happened so I've had it laying around for a while.

I also managed to snag a used Seymour Duncan Vintage Jazz Bass neck pickup for a good price.  So I installed both pickups into this bass.  I also used some really thick and strong foam to push the pickups up closer to the strings.  I also changed the strings to my usual GHS Boomers.  I also prefer to install Fleor strap-locks, so I did that as well.

All in all it didn't require too much work on my part.  I cleaned it up a bit with my favorite Ken Smith polish.  I also used a large paintbrush to knock some of the dust away from the bridge saddles, but after that I could call it a day.

I gotta say I'm having fun with it.  I don't play bass that often so it takes me a while to get back into the groove when I pick one up.  Now I just have to find a place to keep it.  Like my friend I'm starting to run out of room here.  Oh well.  Such is the life of musicians.

Cat Craziness Explained: Part 2: Big Cat Craziness

Back in 2014 I wrote this blog post:

Cat Craziness Explained 

Adam Corolla explained what "Cat Craziness" was.  The short version, is that, Adam had a chart to measure how crazy a person was by the number of cats they kept.  He said it wasn't as simple as one cat plus another cat equaled a level of two cat craziness.

No.  Cat craziness was exponential.  Here's a chart to help.

1 Cat = 1 CC.
2 Cats = 2 to the second power (2 X 2) which = 4CC.
3 Cats = 3 to the third power (3 X 3 X 3) which = 27CC.

As you can see, the more cats you have the faster it goes up.  Anything beyond two cats is starting to border on cat craziness.  A month ago comes this show on Netflix called "Tiger King."  Yeah, we've all heard about it.  We've all watched it whether you admit to it or not.

As I was watching "Tiger King" I kept thinking to myself, "What level of cat craziness are you to work around any big cat?  Yeah, you may have a fat housecat at home.  But honestly, what does it top out at?  30 pounds?  Do you know the stats of a Bengal Tiger?

The male tigers can reach a length of 10 feet and a weight of 550 pounds.  Let's stop right there.  That's one hell of an apex predator twice the size of a human.

I realized keeping full grown big cats (tigers, lions, etc.) was a whole new level of craziness.  It now occurred to me I needed to make a few adjustments to my math.  If you are keeping even one tiger the cat craziness level has to start at 100CC per big cat.

But let's talk about Joe Exotic.  He said several times during "Tiger King" he had 277 big cats at his zoo.  Again, that's not 100 X 277 = 27,700CC.  No.  It has to be exponential.  That means 100 to the 277th power.  Let's do that math on that.

      277 (exponent)
100 (base)                 = 1e+554

So you are wondering, "What the hell does that mean?" That's okay because I was wondering, "What the hell does that mean?"

Here's the best explanation:

https://www.mathsisfun.com/numbers/e-eulers-number.html

Okay, I'm not going to pretend that I can come up with a number that gigantic.  Let's just say it's a one with more zeros than I know what to do with on this page.

This reinforces my point that when you start messing with big cats the cat craziness is literally off the charts.  Just watch "Tiger King."  Any and every one of the zoo owners are nuttier than squirrel poo.  I mean, who knew it only took meth and tigers to turn straight boys gay?

So before I go I suggest we all just stick with dogs or fish.  I think they're the pets that keep us the most grounded.  I can't deal with housecats, and there's no way I'm going anywhere near a full grown tiger.  Let's just all have one dog, or one fish tank and call it a day.

And I can't end this post without this song.  Because this song says everything we were all thinking.

Guitar Repair Day: Dean Resonator Edition

So with the Covid-19 bug going around there hasn't been much to do.  However, my friend Phil found something for me to do, by accident of course.  He owns a Dean resonator that has been his number one personal guitar for years.  And during all those years I have repaired it numerous times.  Let me think off the top of my head what I've done.

1.  Complete re-fret.
2.  Fixed a broken headstock.
3.  Repaired the electronics a number of times.
4.  This includes replacing pots and capacitors.
5.  Buffing out the guitar.
6.  Replacing both pickups.
7.  Repairing/replacing the screws that hold the tuners in place.
8.  Set-ups (of course.)

So yeah, I've tweaked it a few times to say the least.  Well, this last time the guitar ended up falling and putting a hell of ding into the binding and fretboard.

So, what to do?  Well, if this was an episode of Dan Erlewine's trade secrets here's what he would do.  He would take out all the frets.  Then remove the binding.  Next, he would fill the small pieces of the wood back in.  Then it would be time to install new binding.  After that was set, new frets would be installed and dressed.

That, of course, would be something like a $700 job.  For $869.00 Phil could buy a brand new Dean resonator from Musician's Friend.

https://www.musiciansfriend.com/folk-traditional-instruments/dean-chrome-g-acoustic-electric-resonator-guitar/515945000457000?rNtt=dean%20resonators&index=2

So I had to fix it in a way that wouldn't interfere with his playing, but not cost an arm and a leg.  Here's what I decided to do.

First up, it was time to break out the C.A. glue.  I was simply going to fill the crack, and sand it smooth.  It sounds easy, but a lot of things can go wrong.  Here's what's going on in the photo.  I filled the crack with C.A. glue, covered it in cellophane. and clamped it tight.  C.A. glue won't stick to cellophane which is why I used it to protect my clamp.  

Now let's see what we are working with.

The good news, is that, it's holding all together.  The bad news, is that, it doesn't look great.  But that's to be expected.  That's what the next phase of the project is for.

I normally don't put duct tape on guitar, but this called for special circumstances.  I planned to use my rotary sander, and I didn't want it sanding parts that weren't the binding.  Important note: With a rotary sander I made sure to wet sand with a fine grit sandpaper.  In this case 600 grit.

Since I can't hold the guitar, sand, and take photos at the same time, we're going to fast forward to after I've sanded.

The side is getting there, but let's concentrate on the top.  I took a straight razor blade, and shaved the binding flat.

Now, to smooth this down I needed to sand it with a high grit sandpaper.  Luckily C.A. glue sands out extremely nicely.  I used 1500 grit automotive sandpaper.

The trick is to wet sand.  Keep plenty of water on it, and don't be afraid to wash out the sandpaper.

If you look up on the neck you can see where the neck had previously broken.  But back to the sanding.  The sanding smoothed everything out.  I also shaved down a few places on the fretboard with the straight razor again.

But my next tool is the real secret that shouldn't be a secret to anyone in the luthier trade.  Break out a buffer!

I've found a buffer to be my best friend in my workshop.  It can take care of all sorts of things.  In this case, it smoothed out where the wood met the binding.  It also smoothed out the hardened C.A. glue.  This is the result.

I should have taken a better photo, but good news is that, the side of the guitar and fretboard are smooth once again.  The binding is whiter where I repaired it, but it is smooth.  After this, there is one last thing to do.

Don't forget your Ken Smith polish.  That stuff is great.  It's getting kind of hard to find these days which I don't understand.  It's the best stuff I've come across in over 20 years of repair.  

After all the work that came before, the next part was easy.  I set her up, double checked a few things, and make sure everything was right.  Phil was happy with her.  So yeah, it was a tough break, but at least I kept the cost way, way, way below the Dan Erlewine special of $700 or so.  And if Phil puts another ding in her, he knows I'll be here.  Repair's my thing, and I enjoy doing it.  

Idiot Scoutmasters: No Pizza For You!

You can't spend almost 13 years in any organization without a few wild and crazy stories.  During that time you are also going to catch people on a bad day.  However, some Scoutmasters always seemed to be having a bad day.  Due to all the time I spent in the Boy Scouts of America I have managed to write quite a few stories in my "Idiot Scoutmaster" series.

What makes this story so strange is I think my patrol just happened to catch our Scoutmaster, Mr. Brasher, at a bad moment.  I'm sure something had to have happened to him earlier in the day to put him in a foul mood.  What's funny, is that, I wasn't even the one who was:

A:  Being a pain.
B.  Running my mouth.
C.  Trying to get his attention.
D.  Or even talking in general.

The conversation started with two of my Patrol members, Mark and Brian.  They were top notch quality human beings.  Eventually, they both ended up earning their Eagle Scout rank.  This was back before they changed the rules and made it much easier to do so.

We were talking about our upcoming campout, and what we should cook.  We had gotten into a bit of a rut.  You know, sandwiches and hot dogs.  Brian brought up the question of if we could actually make a pizza outdoors?  The flour didn't need refrigerated.  We could carry a stick of pepperoni as well as vegetables.

The only question Brian had was how to keep cheese from spoiling.  Mark brought up that we could carry a can a parmesan cheese since that didn't need to be refrigerated.  Brian immediately thought, "Oh yeah!  That's a great idea!"  He couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it.

It was at that time that Mr. Brasher came out of nowhere, and laid down the law.  "We're not cooking pizza out camping!"  I have to admit I was completely caught off guard.  I said, "But we have the grill that we use for hot dogs.  Couldn't we just set the pizza pan on top of it?"

Again came the stern and final decision.  "We're not cooking pizza on a campout!"

I have no idea what set Mr. Brasher off.  I mean, our patrol was just spit-balling ideas when he came in with the drill sergeant routine.  What made him so angry about pizza.  Had he never heard of wood-fired pizza?

Was he afraid our pizza would turn out ugly?

I want to reiterate that I've been in troops with Boy Scouts who didn't act like Boy Scouts.  But Mark and Brian were some of the best troop members I've ever come across.  They really were model Eagle Scouts.

I think back to the words of wisdom from my Father.  "I don't know why you stayed (in the Boy Scouts) as long as you did?"  Maybe I was gathering material for all this writing gold?  No, that's not it.  But if art is suffering, then I suffered during quite a few backpacking death marches.  So now I don't feel one bit terrible about writing my "Idiot Scoutmaster" series.

For more great reading of my Idiot Scoutmaster series, follow these wonderful links:

Idiot Scoutmasters: I'm The Idiot Scoutmaster! 

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2020/03/idiot-scoutmasters-im-idiot-scoutmaster.html

Idiot Scoutmasters: The Idiot Committee

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2019/12/idiot-scoutmasters-idiot-committee.html

Idiot Scoutmasters: The Dishwashing Paradox

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2019/02/idiot-scoutmasters-dishwashing-paradox.html

Idiot Scoutmasters: Once Bitten, Forever Stupid

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2019/01/idiot-scoutmasters-once-bitten-forever.html

Idiot Scoutmasters: A True Story of a Scout's Canteen

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2018/09/idiot-scoutmasters-true-story-of-scouts.html

Bored Scoutmasters and the Tale of the Wampus

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2014/07/bored-scoutmasters-and-tale-of-wampus.html

Adrian reminisces about his childhood days with the Boy Scouts

https://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2011/02/adrian-reminisces-about-his-childhood.html