Idiot Scoutmasters: The Dishwashing Paradox

This post is a continuation of my "Idiot Scoutmaster" series.  I spent a long time in the Boy Scouts of America, and dealt with a lot of idiot Scoutmasters.  Admittedly, they were volunteers and not professionals, but I still question a lot of their so-called logic to this day.

The Boy Scouts of America have a certain way to wash dishes.  It's actually a very good method.  Basically it goes like this.  You have three tubs.

The first tub is the hot water and soap tub.  This is not really any different than washing dishes at home.  You have hot water, soap, and a brush/rag.  Again, just like washing dishes at home.

The second tub is a cold water and bleach solution tub.  This is known as the cold rinse pot/tub.  So just in case the hot water and soap wasn't enough the bleach in the second tub will kill everything.

This leads to the third tub.  This is just hot water for rinsing.  Hence the name, rinse pot/tub.  The clear hot water will clean off any bleach that is remaining.  After that, hand dry and put away the dishes.  Easy right?

Well my Scoutmaster Mr. Brasher had other ideas about dishwashing.  We only used two pots since that's all that would fit on the Coleman stove.  But Mr. Brasher had a secret to dishwashing.  Let it be known that I am quoting him exactly.

"You want the dish water to be so hot that you can't touch it three times."

This, of course, lead me to the thought, "Well, how can I wash the dishes if I can't actually touch them?"  And when I say he wanted the water hot I mean like this.

I honestly saw him do this weird quick move with his finger three times in the hot water.  He would then say, it wasn't hot enough.  I looked at him like the idiot he was.  He had what looked like a trigger-finger move for quickly touching the hot water three times quickly.  He kept doing it about every minute until his finger was burned enough that he couldn't stick it back in the water.

Seriously, it hurts to even remember this.  I know what you're thinking, "Well Boy Scout, why didn't you let the dishes soak for ten minutes before you attempted to wash them?"  I have an answer you might not have thought about.

You see, I am in Florida.  I've put a thermometer in the sun during the Florida summertime.  It hit 130 degrees F. in the sun.  So think about this.  Boiling water is 212 F.  The temperature in Florida is 95 F. in the shade, and 130 F. in the sun.  So just how long will it take for the temperature of a boiling pot of water to come down to manageable levels?

Let me tell you the answer.  It doesn't.  It doesn't come down to manageable levels.  No matter how long you wait it will still burn your hands.

Since the first pot is so blasted hot Mr. Brasher figured we didn't need a second bleach tub.  So the dishes would go from the first pot (boiling water and soap), to a second pot that was just... you guessed it... more boiling water.

I'll admit, the dishes were clean, but it took us Scouts an hour to wash dishes.  And remember, we'd have to do this three times a day.  Honestly, we spent most of our time just cooking and then washing dishes on campouts.  Literally six hours a day was devoted to just cooking and washing dishes.

Now maybe that's not a bad thing.  I do cook well, and I've never had complaints about my dish washing.  So I do have to thank Scouting for that.  But I will say this.  When I wash dishes I make sure NOT to use boiling water.  Hot?  Yes.  Boiling?  No.

For more of my interesting Scouting stories follow these links:

Idiot Scoutmasters: Once Bitten, Forever Stupid

Idiot Scoutmasters: A True Story of a Scout's Canteen

Bored Scoutmasters and the Tale of the Wampus

Adrian reminisces about his childhood days with the Boy Scouts