Adventures in Trip-Sitting

Note:  All names have been changed to protect the guilty.  Any coincidence of living persons is completely intentional and hilarious.

A month ago I had a completely wild experience at my friend Candace's house.  She had invited a bunch of her friends over for dinner and to hang around the outdoor fire pit.  Candace told me, "I had to meet this friend of hers named Sofia.  She was the female me."  Well, how could I not meet the female me?

I got to talking to Sofia.  She was a lot of fun.  She was also half my age, but it didn't seem to matter.  We were really getting along well.  I can see why Candance wanted us to meet each other.

After dinner all of us ended up sitting around the campfire.  Candace had a variety of drinks for everyone.  Namely, red wine, mead, beer, whiskey, and cider.  Now due to a number of medical conditions I can't drink alcohol,  It was Coke Zero for me all the way.

There was this nice married lesbian couple there.  Let's call them... Tegan and Sarah.  So Tegan breaks out a vape pen.  No big deal.  I'm just glad it wasn't a cigarette.  It was then that a saw Sofia take a drag off of it.  That surprised me since she said she really hated cigarettes.

After taking one hit off of it she started coughing badly.  It was a complete coughing fit.  I asked her why she was taking a hit off of it if she hated tobacco so badly?  Guess what?  It wasn't tobacco.  That's right.  Cannabis is now legal in Florida.  I hadn't even considered that it might come in a vape pen.  But that's when the fun started.

You see, Sofia started tripping... hard.  It was then that I learned some new terminology.  Trip-Sitting.  Here's the Urban Dictionary definition:

Trip Sitter.  Noun.  Someone who stays sober while another does some form of hallucinogen, in order to keep them from doing something crazy.  I.E.  Jump out a window or attempt suicide.

Honestly, so much happened so fast.  Sofia had only drank half a hard cider.  Seriously, about 6 ounces out of 12.

What we found out later is that, she had started taking Lexapro only four days beforehand.

She had mixed Lexapro with alcohol, a big no-no, and then took a hit of cannabis off a vape pen.

That's something you really don't want to do.  This kicked off a bad trip and a hilarious series of events.

Okay it wasn't that bad of a trip.  It was more like this.

The things that came out of Sofia's mouth were awful, laugh inducing, incoherent, violent, loving, and overall bizarre.  Here are the highlights.

The first thing Sofia needed to do was find the ground.  Now, normally the ground is underneath your feet, but she needed to be sure.  So she laid out flat on her back directly on the lawn.  

She also needed people to hold her hands at all times.  So I knelt on the ground next to her holding her hand.  That's when the barrage of insults started.  Things like:

"I don't know you well enough to give a fuck about you."

I sang a line from a Bon Jovi song.  I can't remember which one.  That's when she told me, "I hope you never used that line on a girl."  I told her it was a line from a Bon Jovi song.  To which she replied, "I hate Bon Jovi!"

I also sang a line from another song.  Again, I can't remember which.  She said, "That song is terrible!"

"I'm going to punch you/kick you," was said about 100 times, easily.

"I'm never drinking again!" was also stated about 100 times.

She was having to work to keep her soul inside her body.  It kept trying to escape.  That's when Sarah (of the lovely lesbian couple) said, "The cannabis is opening your 3rd eye.  You are being aware of the universe."  So Sofia was working hard on keeping her soul inside her body.  I mean, she was really concentrating hard on it.

Sofia's response to her 3rd eye opening was, "I don't want it open!  Make it stop!  Close it!!!"  

Sofia said to me, "You remind me of my brother."  (Then whispered)  "I hate my brother."

Of course, she had to have two people hold her hands.  I took one hand.  Tegan (of the lovely, lesbian couple) took the other.  Sofia was pretty adamant about us holding her hands.  "Hold my hand!  Don't let go!  Don't leave me!"

More great one liners came out of her mouth such as, "My Mom smokes so much pot.  She is totally going to make fun of me."  (For not being able to handle her shit.)

It was then that Sofia kept grabbing lawn grass, sticks, dirt, leaves and whatever she could grab, and piled them on top of my hat.  

As she was rubbing my face she just then noticed that I have a beard.  "Oh!  You have a beard!"  To which I replied, "Yes, I've had one for a long time."  (I mean, I didn't just instantly grow it in the last three minutes.)

She then proceeded to rub my face and beard for quite some time.  I told her that "I didn't mind it.  In fact, I rather liked it.  Namely, since I was half-beagle on my Father's side."  

Her response to that was only what I could call, "incoherent babbling." 

While she was rubbing my face and beard she reached up and started running her fingers through my hair.  She then started crying because, "My hair was so naturally beautiful without any product in it, and it was wasted on a guy!"  Note:  I do have beautiful hair.  But to be honest, I did have some product in it.  But Sofia didn't have to know.    

For a while she really started to freak out.  "I just want it to be over!"  In all fairness, she had been tripping for about 2-3 hours at that point.  It reminded me of the old time stoners telling newbies, "To just go with the trip.  Don't try to fight it."

Talking about kitty cats really calmed her down.  But then again, who doesn't love little kitty cats?

Every time she would make one of her threatening remarks I would just respond with, "This is a very intimate, spiritual experience we are sharing.  I will remember this for as long as I live."

This of course was met with mixed reactions.  I remember Sofia saying, "I hate you.  No wait.  I'm sorry.  I don't want you to think I'm like this.  But I hate you."  

There was also a lot of, "Fuck you's!" thrown my way.  After she had said that for about the 100th time, I said, "Okay, if you really insist..."

She responded, "No!  That's not what I meant!  I wouldn't have sex with you!"  Being the utmost smartass that I am I had to ask, "Why not?  I know where the clitoris is!"  This, of course, was met with laughs from everyone.  It did help that most everyone there was more than a bit inebriated.  

Then things took a turn to the dark side.  Sofia said, "I want a knife!"  This confused/amused me, so I had to ask, "Why?"  Sofia said, "I want to stab myself!  Right there! (Points to her thigh.)

I had to put my foot down.  "No!  You're not getting a knife!  You're not even getting a fork!  You are only allowed a spork from now on."

Every now and then she would "come to," and say, "I don't want you to think I'm like this."  Then she would go right back to tripping, and say, "But I do hate you."

Luckily, Sofia's bad trip only lasted a hair over three hours.  (Sarcasm.)  I could handle the insults.  In fact, I found them laugh out loud funny.  But my knees and ankles paid the price from kneeling on the ground for all those hours.  

You know babysitters get paid well.  I really think that I should have gotten some sort of cash payment out of trip-sitting.  Although, in all fairness, I did get this kick ass blog post out of the experience.  You can't put a price on that kind of experience.  

Also, I know Candace was (maybe) trying to set Sofia and I up.  It didn't work out that way.  But hey, it was a fun evening none the less.  Maybe next time around the fire, Sofia will stick to drinking ice water.    

The Day I Met Dimebag Darrell

Today, as I write this blog post, it is December 8th, 2018.  It's been exactly 14 years since Dimebag Darrell was murdered onstage.  As a guitar player and a fan of heavy metal music in general, Dimebag was my greatest influence and my favorite musician.  He's the reason I love Dean Guitars and Bill Lawrence pickups.

Every story has a beginning, and this is mine.  If you've ever seen the Pantera home videos, (I had mine on VHS,) there was a scene in the first video where Phil Anselmo talks about Pantera being a word of mouth band.  For me, that was exactly how I discovered Pantera.

Pantera didn't get played on the radio.  You heard about them from a friend.  All my heavy metal friends were talking about this kick ass band from Texas that had a totally original metal sound.  They were heavy without sounding like static noise.  They had strong vocals that spoke to exactly how I was feeling.  I could tell this was a band that was going to take heavy metal in a direction never taken before.

At the time Pantera's album, "Vulgar Display of Power," had just been released.  I was watching MTV's "Headbanger's Ball" when their video for, "Walk" comes on.  I had never seen that level of intensity at a concert.  At that point in my life I had only been to a Beach Boys concert.  Being hardcore at a Beach Boys concert meant you stood up in your seat.

But this was unlike anything I had seen.  I'd seen "The Pit."  I'd seen "Stagediving."  But I had never seen people being passed around while a pit was hardcore raging.  Fans were diving off the stage, and the band encouraged it.  Again, I had never seen such an intensity like that.

 One day my headbanger friends tell me that Pantera is coming to town.  They are going to be playing the USF Special Events Center in Tampa.  I said, "That' great!  I'm just around the corner from USF!"  And I really was.  I was barely two miles from there.  So we all bought tickets and my friend Darren said he would drive us there.

When the day came, Dec. 1st, 1992 I could barely sit though school.  I was 16 at the time, and this would be my second major concert ever.  (Yes, right behind the Beach Boys.)  Luckily my friends had been paying attention to the radio.  It seems that the show had been moved to downtown Ybor City at the Ritz.

The show said, "Doors open at 7 PM."  I had taken the bus home, and of course, I was the last stop on the bus route.  I had barely made it home before 4 PM when I hear a knock at the door.  It was all my headbanger friends.  I asked what they were doing there so early?  They said they wanted to get to the show early to have a chance to meet some of the members of the band.  I said, "Come on?  What are the chances of that?"

So we left, and were in Downtown Ybor City hours before showtime.  We decided to walk up and down 7th Avenue.  It seemed the show was going to be started even later because they had to set up all the gear later than usual.  Again, moving the show from USF to the Ritz messed with their schedule.

So we were hanging outside the Ritz near the tour buses when some folks walked out.  One of the guys was walking towards the backdoor of the Ritz.  It was then my friend Randy yelled out, "Yo J.!!!"  The guy turned around, and yelled back, "Hey!."  It turned out he was the guitar player for the band who was going to open up for Pantera.  A little band called, "White Zombie."  I had seen their video for one of their songs on Headbanger's Ball."  As I remembered back then it was ….."Thunder … something."

Of course, that song would end up flying up the charts once it made it to "Beavis and Butthead."  That song was "Thunderkiss 65'."  The guitar player was named J."  Randy had seen his name in the advertisement of our local rock magazine.  J. was cool.  He waved back at us as he entered the building.

As we turned the corner we walked right by the tour buses.  It was then this cute chick who was barely five foot tall and maybe 80 pounds walked out.  I said, "Hi," and kept walking.  I later found out as I was watching the show that she was the White Zombie bass player.  You might have heard of her, Sean Yseult.

If you ever watch any White Zombie video you will notice how every bass she plays looks huge.  It turns out the basses are normal sized.  She is just that tiny.  She was also amazingly pretty with huge blonde (at that time) curly hair.

So our headbanger group continued down 7th Avenue.  We walked into this independent used CD/Tape/Record store.  And who should be there but 3/4 of Pantera!  Phil, Darrell, and Rex were hanging out looking at the CD's.  (I later found out that Vinnie Paul was giving an interview with 98 Rock at that time.  He was live on the radio telling fans to come to the Ritz.)

My friends approached Darrell, and he welcomed us like we were family.  I talked to him about seeing Pantera on Headbanger's Ball, and that level of intensity in the pit kind of scared. me.  He was all like, "Naw man!  You gotta get in the pit!"  My friends had better questions for him than I did.  Again, we didn't have the internet at the time, so I didn't know much of his background.  Again, I was also 16 years old at the time.  What do I ask a mainstream musician who actually made it to MTV?

Again, I have to say he was so cool to us.  He could have blown us off.  He could have said he was busy.  He could have said no questions.  But he didn't.  He was the nicest guy in the world to us.  And all these years later it still means ever so much to me.  It showed me just how important it is to treat fans.  Because I've met a few rock stars that didn't treat me too well, and left me feeling disappointed I had met them in the first place.

After standing in line for a bit we finally get in.  The show starts at 8 PM.  I only knew the one song by White Zombie (Thunderkiss 65'.)  Again, this was before "Beavis and Butthead" helped them become household names.  Most of the crowd didn't know who they were and hadn't even heard "Thunderkiss 65'."  But I thought they were musically different from anything I had ever seen before.

When Pantera came on it was exactly like the video for "Walk."  People immediately jumped sideways and the entire place became a mosh pit.  The one thing I'll never forget was how loud it was.  I was wearing earplugs, and my eardrums still hurt the next day.

What amazed me was that Dimebag was the real deal.  I stood in the back watching him play.  There was no way anyone could fake that.  I had never seen anyone play a guitar with that much talent, aggression, determination, and vigor.  I didn't play guitar at the time, but I know that if I did I would be playing a Dean guitar.

 

Get this, the floors of the old Ritz were wooden.  They had then thrown these old rubber mats over it.  It was so loud that the floors were vibrating.  And I don't mean just a little vibration.  My feet were going numb because the floors were vibrating so hard.  That's right, it was so loud the floors were vibrating like they were going to sprout wings and fly.

I also remember it being close to 50 degrees outside.  Florida actually does get somewhat cold at night, especially in December.  But there were so many bodies going crazy inside the Ritz it must have been 100 degrees.  It was actually tough to breathe in there.

I actually went in the pit a few times, but I could only stand it about 30 seconds.  Namely due to the lack of oxygen, heat, and linebacker type tackles I was taking.  This was not a rookie mosh pit.  This pit was for seasoned pros.

Now, I am kind of a big guy.  There were a lot of folks "going up" and getting passed around place.  I decided I was going to try it … once.  At the time I was around 200 pounds.  I went up, and they had trouble holding me up.  I ended up being passed to the back.  About eight guys ended up holding me at chest level.  I yelled at them, "I'm too heavy!  You can just set me down!"  That when they laughed, and threw me forward.

I then started rolling forward over top of the crowd.  I was rolling/spinning and gaining speed towards the front when I saw I was near the security gate at the front of the stage.  It was at that point the crowd tried to throw me on stage.  But let's be honest, I was too heavy.  They ended up throwing me over the gate.  I saw the security guards coming at me, and I just curled up in the fetal position.

They tackled me, and I assumed the worst.  However, they saw I wasn't going to fight back, and they told me to crawl over to the side.  So I crawled on my hands and knees to the left hand side.  As I was crawling all the security guards were ready to tackle me in case I tried to jump on stage.  However, I was happy that I made it as far as I did, and I wasn't about to give them any trouble.

So I made it out the side security gate at stage left.  I found my friends and they hi-fived me for making it so far.  I said it was awesome, and I never wanted to do that again.

Near the end of the show my friend Randy ended up getting hurt in the pit.  He fell on his head.  Yes, he was getting passed around and ended up being dropped on his head.  He actually hurt his shoulder worse than his head.  I helped him outside so he could sit in Darren's car.  The next song that played was, "Cowboys From Hell."

Now you're probably wondering how I knew that if we weren't inside the Ritz.  Remember what I said about the music being loud?  Yeah, we could hear it just fine outside the club.  I swear it must have been 160 decibels inside the Ritz.

Randy and I weren't exactly feeling great after expending all that energy inside a 100 degree club.  We were now outside in the fresh air, which was great, but it was also 50 degrees outside.  We were also soaked in our own sweat from head to toe.  Luckily, we didn't have to wait long for Darren and Jim to join us.

We all ended up taking a breather while the parking lot emptied.  Since I lived closest I ended up being dropped off first.  It was around midnight when I got to sleep.  In the morning I begged my Mom to let me skip school, but she wasn't hearing any of it.  If I wanted to stay out all night I had to deal with the consequences.  That being, getting my butt to school.

I was lucky enough to see Pantera two more times.  I believe both were in 1994.  The second time I  saw them Biohazard opened.  I knew all of Biohazard's songs so I was glad to see them.  The third time I saw Pantera, Type O Negative opened.  I knew their album, "Bloody Kisses" back and forth, so again, I was ecstatic to see them.  Except for the fact we were late, and I only got to see their last two songs.

I missed seeing Pantera come through the Bay Area a fourth time.  That time they had John Bush era Anthrax open for them.  I still kick myself that I missed that show.  I only heard about it the day of the show, and it was sold out by then.  Little did I know that would be the last time Pantera would come through Tampa.

So now I sit here finishing up this post.  I'll admit, I've been putting it off for years.  It's a happy story, but with a sad ending.  It's hard to believe that one of the greatest guitarist of all time was murdered on stage along with a number of his road crew.

I think of all the music that could have been.  I imagine Dimebag like I would Mick Jagger.  He would just keep playing music until he was 90 years old.  He would never stop.  But I am thankful for the music we do have.  I'm also thankful for all the music he inspired in myself and others.

The Mystery of Pie

There is a mystery in the house.  The mystery.... of pie!  No I'm not talking about a woman's private parts.  I'm actually taking about pie.  You know, apple, cherry, chocolate, blueberry, pumpkin pie.  Let me start at the beginning.

It was before Thanksgiving.  I went out to the garage freezer to bring in some meat and frozen vegetables for dinner.  That's when I saw this staring at me.

I came back inside and asked, "Why are there ten pies in the freezer?"

"It's for Thanksgiving!"  I was told.

That set my mind in gear.  Let's do the math.  There are four of us for Thanksgiving.  No one else has been invited.  I am not supposed to eat pie due to the high amount of sugar.  Now, I will have a piece here and there, but not a whole pie.  And definitely not 2.5 pies.

I presented my case about having that much pie.  I was told, "It's also for Christmas."

I thought, "Okay, I guess that makes some sort of sense?"

Over Thanksgiving five pies were cooked, so that made sense.  That is until I looked in the freezer today.

There are now seven pies in the outside freezer, plus I found another pie in the house freezer.  That means post-Thanksgiving, we are now at eight pies.  Ten pies minus five pies does not equal eight pies!!!

I know a lot of you think that I am the dumbass.  "Why are you complaining about pies, man?  There are so many other things you could complain about."

Here's the problem.  That many pies are taking up the space of other foods.  Things like vegetables.  Things I like such as chicken nuggets.  Actually anything else for that matter.  The freezer only contains a finite amount of space.  If it's 1/4 full of pie that takes away from other things that could be sitting in its place.

I just think something like one pie per person would be a much better ratio.  I think that would be the norm.  But that's just me.

Soak Up The Sunn: New Amp Day: Sunn Solos

I told myself that I was through buying amps.  But that's like a junky saying this is his last hit.  The last amp I bought cost me a lot, and I wasn't happy with it.  I ended up getting rid of it quickly.  After losing a good amount of money on both repairing and trading it, I said no more amps.

But then, and there's always a, "but, then," I saw it on Craigslist.  It was advertised as a Sunn Solos 2, possibly being made from 1969-1974.  I am a huge fan of Sunn amplifiers.  In fact, I own a Sunn Alpha 212R that has never let me down.  I knew I had to have this amp.

I talked to the owner on and off.  I was trying to trade equipment for it, but he wanted cash.  I drove about as far as I could drive to South St. Petersburg without driving into the water.  Truthfully speaking I was dang close to the saltwater.

He let me check out the amp.  I have to admit, it didn't sound great.  It was supposed to be a copy of the Fender Twin Reverb, but with a solid state power section.  It did have three tubes in the pre-amp section.  That made this one of the earliest hybrid amps I had ever seen.

I started checking it out, and was kind of disappointed.  I saw a few things that needed repair.  Honestly, it was both good and bad.  The speakers were completely shot.  As in, they were rusted and falling apart.  The power cord had tape wrapped around it, so I knew that needed replaced.  As old as it was I'm sure it needed a solder job.  It also made an insanely loud hum whenever the reverb was turned up.

Now here's the funny math.  Do I buy this amp at a discount, but have to invest so much into it that would cost more than I could actually buy a Twin Reverb?  However, I can go to any Guitar Center or Sam Ash and buy a Fender Twin Reverb.  I can have them search their inventory and have them ship me certain models of the Twin Reverb any day of the week.

What I can't do is buy this amp any time or place.  To be honest, I had never even heard of this amp.  I had never seen one, and this was the first time I was ever playing one.  So what do I do?  Do I buy the ultra rare amp from a company I love, or do I buy the time tested best known Fender amp?

I decided to buy the Sunn amp, and here's why.  The seller already had it lower than market value.  He then knocked the price down again.  I knew I would have to acquire two new speakers for the amp.  The good news was I already had one that was perfect for it.

So I bought the amp, and headed directly to ProAudio Electronics Tampa.  Mike J. has run the shop for a long time, and absolutely knows what he's doing.  Rex, the tech who would be working on the amp came out, and looked it over.  He pointed out where a cap was leaking and needed replaced.  He noticed the tape wrapped around the power cord, and said that wouldn't pass inspection.  I agreed.

I told him he had plenty of time to work on it since I was headed out hunting.  I told him I had one speaker for him, and would order the other one.  He should just worry about getting it working, and he could add the speakers last.  I then headed out hunting two days later.

In the middle of the next week we talked on the phone.  He told me that three (out of six) of the caps needed replaced.  Also, one of the speakers was completely dead, and the other one was in bad shape.  It also needed a solder job in some places, plus the standby switch needed replaced.  I told him to go ahead and get it working.

Before I had left, I bought a Jensen C12K speaker for the amp off of Reverb.com.  I already had a WGS G12C/S sitting at the house.  So while I was hunting, I had my Mom drop off the speakers to ProAudio Electronics.  That gave them a chance to play it, and see how it sounded.  If there were any problems they would be able to hear them, and sort out the problem.

Once I made it back I was able to play it at the shop.  Two of the guys said I'd better not leave that amp around the shop much longer.  They liked it too much.  As I tested it out I had to say it was very different from the amps I usually play.

It had a very interesting clean sound.  It wasn't tinny like so many clean amps are.  It had a full sound, but was clean.  When I turned it up it started to slightly overdrive.  It completely took me back to an era before my time.  I could hear that vintage sound that defined so many artists.

Rex the technician told me something that I had completely missed.  He told me that this amp wasn't the Sunn Solos 2 as had been advertised.  It was the first model from 1969, the Sunn Solos, version 1.  That meant that this one didn't have an X20 circuit.  The X20 would engage a circuit that would add distortion to the amp.  The only problem was that you couldn't control the amount of distortion.    But since this model didn't have it, I didn't have to worry about that.

I checked out the serial number, and realized that it read 001XXX.  As in, it was only around the 1000th amp ever made by Sunn.  In other words, this was an early model.  I tried to find information about it on the internet.  It turns out there are very few things written about the Sunn Solos 2.  There is almost nothing written about version one.

The only thing  I could find that was they made versions one and two in 1970.  After that, they strictly made version 2.  I was on a music forum where I read a post from a musician who had bought one new in 1970.  He said back then the Solos amps were more expensive than Fender Twin Reverbs.  I have to say that surprised me.

So here are the photos:

It's in what I could call "good" shape.  It's roughed up a bit, but I wouldn't call it fair or poor.  Something equipped on this amp that I have never seen on another amplifier is a control for depth and rate of the reverb.  I've seen depth and rate for a tremolo effect, but never a reverb.

It took me a while to find the right setting for the reverb.  The reverb is not very deep at all.  The Twin Reverb beats it hands down.  However, with the rate and depth controls it acts like a tremolo/reverb if that makes any sense.  I ended up putting the reverb to 10, the rate to 10, and the depth to 7.

Rex explained that the depth control grounded the signal.  So the more you turned it up, the longer the delay between notes.  So it was acting like an analog delay.  It was very subtle below 7.  Once it was turned up beyond that, it had some serious delay.

Here are photos of the speakers.

I have to say these were the perfect speakers for this amp.  I was worried that the WGS wouldn't be bright enough for this amp.  It actually hadn't been very good in a few other amps I had, but it was perfect for this.

I didn't have to worry about the Jensen since it came standard in the old Twin Reverbs.  I did notice that both speakers needed broke in a bit.  They were very stiff.  Once I adjusted the EQ, and played the amp a bit, they started to sound better.

Oh, remember how I said the other speakers were shot?  Yeah, here's what they looked like.

You can see why I wasn't worried about replacing them.  Also, they weren't original to the amp anyway.

I've been writing this blog since 2008, and it kind of surprises me which of my blog posts end up getting large amounts of views.  I think this is going to be one of those posts that ends up continually receiving views since there are so few pages dedicated to the Sunn Solos amps.

There used to be a webpage called the "Sunn Muesum," but I think the owner took it down.  It had a great amount of information about Sunn products.  I'll admit, I would have liked to have seen what it had to say about the Solos amps.

But for now I am happy to have an awesome amp to play.  It takes pedals really well.  It probably goes without saying that my Biyang reverb pedal sounds like an angel coming through the amp.  Every one of my overdrive pedals work well with it.  So, basically I am having a lot of fun trying all sorts of settings and sounds.  It's so much fun I might not have to buy another amp.  Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that.

Hunting Season 2018: Snipe Island, Part 2

Before reading this blog post, please take time to read Part 1:

Hunting Season 2018: Snipe Island, Part 1 

Chapter 8, Saturday Nov. 10th: Day 8.

Dad and I noticed that the deer were moving early in the morning. It was so hot in the afternoon that nothing was moving from 10 AM until 7 PM. 

So we decided to get up extra early. In this case 4:30 in the morning. That put me in my tree stand at 6:55 AM Saturday morning. During all the years I have been hunting I have had great luck seeing and taking game at 7:04 AM. In order to do that I have to be in the woods early. I'm not going to lie. It can be mentally tough to get up that early.

At 8:10 AM I looked out, and from behind a tree I saw the same doe that I thought I had been seeing (or so I thought!) It walked behind two trees in my sightline. I should note that it was walking from my right to left, slightly coming towards me.

I leaned right in my tree stand to try and see it behind the tree. I couldn't see it around the tree. I then leaned left. Then right again. And finally to the left. It then came from behind the trees.

At this point it was facing towards me. I put my scope up on it, and the first thing I thought was, "IT HAS ANTLERS????" My next thought was, "SHOOT ADRIAN! THOSE ANTLERS HAVE A SPLIT!"
I completely rushed my shot, but my crosshairs were right on the deer. I pulled the trigger, and the deer literally flipped backwards. As in, it's front hooves came off the ground, and it flipped clean over.

When it hit the ground it didn't move. My shot was what they call a, "one and done." One shot, and it killed the deer clean. That's when I remembered I needed to eject my shell. I was using my newish rifle, a Rugar RAR .308 (a bolt action rifle), not my old shotgun which was semi-automatic.

I pulled back on the bolt, but didn't come back far enough with it. Somehow my old shell got flipped around backwards, and jammed up my gun when I shoved the bolt forwards. I pulled my bolt back again, and grabbed the shell, and went to toss it. That's when I realized I may want to keep it for sentimental reasons. That, or I could re-load it. So I put the shell in my pocket.

I focused back on the deer. I saw the chest move three times, but after that it stopped. The deer's feet never kicked and the head never came up. I had made a great shot. Not to mention, this was my first shot I ever took with this gun while hunting.

It then occurred to me that Dad might want to know what was going on. I got on my CB radio, and called for him. He asked, "Was that me that shot?" I told him I had a deer down, and yes, I had actually hit it. He was glad to hear that. He told me to be careful as there was another hunter in the woods.

Later on, when Dad came up to where I was, he told me that another hunter passed by him just five minutes before I shot. He wasn't sure if it was me or the other guy who had shot.

But back to the story. So I climbed down my tree stand. I tied my red ribbons around the trees as I made my way up to the deer. I carefully walked up on the deer, and to my relief it was completely dead. I didn't want to walk up on a wounded animal.

I came around, and grabbed the antlers. One of them was buried in the soft dirt, but when I started counting the tines I was surprised that it was a six pointer. It was the ugliest six pointer I had ever seen, but it was a true six pointer. I knew immediately I was not going to mount it's head.

I checked out where the bullet had hit. The deer was somewhat facing me, leaning to my left. My bullet caught it high in the ribcage. From what I could tell my bullet went through the lungs, near the heart, and came out near the back of the deer on the other side. 

I counted my steps back towards my tree stand. I wanted to be sure how far the deer was from me. It was exactly 31 steps. I had actually managed to kill my last deer (back in 1995,) as well as one hog (1990) at 31 steps. It's actually one of those weird coincidences.

I met up with Dad and brought him to where the deer was. I was so in shock I had forgotten to do a touchdown/successful deer hunt dance. Before this I had only shot one deer, and that was back in 1995. Before that I had missed my first three deer. So here it was 23 years later, and I was just in shock. 

Dad wanted to gut the deer there, but I said, "Whoa!" I said the rules said that we had to bring the deer in whole. Dad said he wasn't so sure about that. He asked if I had a copy of the rules. I said, "In fact, I did."

I opened them up and found the section that said, "Deer and turkeys must be transported to the check station with their heads and sex intact." I said that meant we needed to keep the deer whole. So we agreed to do that.

Dad took his tree stand, gun, and my backpack to the truck. I alternated between moving my tree stand and gun, and then moving the deer. I would usually move each 50 yards at a time. Dad came back, and said I'd made great progress. He then took my tree stand and gun back to the truck.

Now, there are bears that live in the state park next to Snipe Island. So I kept my pistol on me. Although, I'm more worried about dealing with hogs than I am bears. Bears will run from you. Hogs have a bit of an attitude sometimes.

I ended up dragging the deer back to the main path by the time Dad got back to me. We then dragged the deer down the path one hundred yards at a time. My feet were cramping up on me. It reminded me of when I played football in high school, and had to push the sled around the field.

Dad and I finally made it back to the truck with the deer. We then decided to drink plenty of water and catch our breath. A Chevy truck passed by, and I waved to the guy. I smart-assed asked him, "Have you seen anything? I haven't seen anything all day." Of course, the deer is lying there right in front of the truck.

The guy, who we found out was named Jim, volunteered to take a few photos of Dad, me, and the deer.  Here's the photo he took of us.

We talked for a bit, and he drove on. Dad and I took photos and video of the deer. Next, we rearranged the truck. That let us tie the deer down on the tailgate. As we were ready to leave the guy in the Chevy came back down the road. He said to come on down to his place. He had a boathouse where we could clean the deer out. Most importantly, he had a water hose. How could we say no to that?

We made it to the check station. When we asked David the attendant if we needed to bring the deer in whole he said yes. So I did read the rules correctly. He weighed the deer, and it came in at 104 pounds. That was the second biggest deer to come out this season.

David also removed the jawbone for the game biologists. He took measurements of the antlers and I filled out my information for him. He also gave me a "deer pin" to put on my jacket. They give them out if you take a deer. So I proudly put mine on. Next we loaded the deer up, and tied it down to the truck.

Before we left, I had to witness David putting my name on the "The Game Board." And yes, that's me giving my "Pirate Victory" face while pointing towards the board.

On a side note, one of the hunters from the private hunt club next to Snipe Island shot a hog.  He dropped it off and gave it to David the Check Station Attendant.  It was a big sal hog that looked like it weighed a lot more than my deer.

Jim gave us directions to his house/boathouse that was only a few miles from Snipe Island. His friend Matt joined us. Jim had taken his share of deer and was dang good at butchering them.  Dad and I were extremely thankful for use of the boathouse.  It was located right on the river, and more importantly had a sink and water hose.  

Jim showed us a great way to cut up the deer so it would be easier to cook. I was overly careful in cutting the deer. I had promised the hide and skull to friends so I was taking my time cutting it.

Jim, Matt, Dad and I shared hunting stories, and Jim gave us all sorts of great advice on what cuts to make and where to cut them. Having the sink, cutting board, butchers' chop axe, sharpening stone, and water hose were of great help.

We put the deer in two coolers, thanked Jim and Matt, and took off for the town of Perry. At this point I was still in shock. "Did I actually just shoot a deer?" Yes. Yes I did.

And I did it on the last day of the Quota Hunt season. Matt said I did it the right way. Dad and I scouted the area. We studied what times the deer were moving. We adjusted where we were sitting. We were up at 4:30 AM.

What we DIDN'T do was pay to belong to a hunt camp. The kind that plants food on their property. The kind that sets up feeders to go off at certain times of the day so you know when the game will be there.

We put in a lot of work and it paid off. It was the right way to hunt. I didn't write this earlier, but Dad and I were hunters #1 and 2 today. As in, we were the first two to arrive. And that's on a Saturday. On a Saturday there should be a bunch of hunters in there.

Not many deer were taken this year, but I took one of them. No hogs had been taken at all. I wonder if the hurricane killed a bunch of them, or caused them to move out of the area?


Chapter 9: Saturday Night, Nov. 10th: Day 8.

After successfully harvesting the deer, Dad and I had a celebratory dinner at Deal's Seafood Restaurant and Oyster Bar. 

When we pulled into the parking lot Dad parked next to a truck that had a dog box in the back. As I stepped out of the truck I smelled something horrible. That's when I realized that the dogs had been successful out hunting too.

Yes, the dogs smelled like blood, death, gore and such. They had most likely killed a hog out there.

Before coming to Deal's the truck and dog's owner really needed to wash out the back of the truck as well as let the dogs play (take a bath) in the river.

That's what my Dad used to do for his hunting dogs. He'd let them "play" in the river. It was an all natural bath. And the beagles loved playing in the water.

The dogs started barking at me, or so I thought. Dad then said they could smell all the deer blood on the back of the tailgate. No wonder it stirred them up.

A lot of my friends have never encountered a true hunting dog. They have more than a little bit of attitude. They can come across as not so friendly combined with a, "You're not the boss of me," attitude.

So needless to say I didn't try to pet them. In fact, I've never tried to pet any hunting dog. And you know what? I'm not going to do so... ever.

Chapter 10:  The Following Week.

Dad and I headed back home on Sunday.  After letting the deer soak on ice for a few days I ended up giving quite a bit of it away.  First, I gave some to a musician friend of mine who is also a chef.  Next I gave a bit to my hunting partner John W.  I really wanted to give him some since he wasn't able to make it out hunting due to being sick.  

Next up, I took some meat, the head and cape to my friend Candie.  She had the tools to tan the hide, as well as boil the skull.  She was going to make what's called an English or Rustic mount of the skull.  

I then met up with my cousin to give him some of the deer meat.  He actually went to school to train as a chef.  He has worked in a few restaurants, so he knows the ins and outs of cutting meat off the bone like a butcher.  He was very thankful for it.  

I took the rest and broke it down into meal sized bags.  I put the bags in the freezer to freeze the meat.  I always do that for wild meat.  If it's frozen, and later on cooked all the way through, it's safe to eat.  

The other fun activity was emptying the trailer.  Everything had to come in.  Clothes needed washed.  Dirty dishes also had to come in and be washed.  Blankets, sleeping gear, and pillows all needed to come in and be washed.  Let's face it, there was just a lot of washing.

We also had to empty the back of the truck.  Coolers needed washed out and bleached.  The tree stands also needed washed and bleached since they had deer blood splattered on them.  

I had to think, it's a lot of work to go hunting.  But I have to say, I had a great time this year.  I learned a lot about hunting by simply paying attention to the woods.  I can say without a doubt that by changing up how I hunted I became a better hunter.  This was also the first year that I didn't fall asleep in my tree stand.  Since I actually managed to harvest a deer I have to say this was a completely successful year.  

Hunting Season 2018: Snipe Island, Part 1

This year I was lucky to be able to draw Snipe Island, part of the Big Bend WMA, as my quota hunt.  That meant I was able to hunt the first nine days, November 3rd to the 11th at Snipe Island.  This year we decided to hunt the first eight days and head back home on Sunday the 11th.  Unfortunately, our hunting buddy John W. ended up getting sick.  So he was not able to come with Dad and I.

So we headed up on Friday, Nov. 2nd.  That let us get settled in at the Perry, KOA, and be ready in the morning for the first day of our hunting season.  Everything went pretty smoothly, and once nighttime arrived we were in bed at the time we planned.

Chapter 1:  Saturday, Nov. 3rd: Day 1.

Aside from one squirrel I didn't see anything exciting.  However someone had a much better day than Dad or I had....

Chapter 2:  Sunday, Nov. 4th: Day 2.

I was in my tree stand at 7:10.  Nothing much was moving, and I was daydreaming.  That's when a doe walked up 15 yards from me.  Luckily I was holding perfectly still while daydreaming.  She took a few steps forward and managed to walk within 10 yards of me.  Needless to say I took a good look at her, and knew she was definitely a doe.

She grazed around me from 7:33 AM to 7:50 AM.  I have to admit, I was really excited.  I hadn't had a doe come that close to me in years.  What happened was that she came down a tree line, and was blocked from my view.  But on the other hand, I was blocked from her view.  Later on I thought, "Man this would have been a great archery shot."

For the next hour I noticed the temperature dropping.  A front was coming in, and it was slowly becoming darker.  About 9 O'clock I had the first raindrops fall on me.  I said, "That's it.  Show's over."  With the front coming in, it was only going to start raining more.  I packed up my gear, and made it to the main trail.

I had been on my handheld CB radio, and calling my Dad ever since the first few drops hit me.  Once I made it to the main trail he finally tuned in.  He asked if I was on the radio, and if I wanted to get down.  I told him, "Yes, I was on the radio, and I was already on the main trail.  In fact, I could see his blaze orange through the woods."

He got down, and we called it a day.  Besides, it was Sunday and the Bucs were playing.  Of course, we knew they would lose, but we're fans so we have to watch.  They ended up losing to the Panthers 42-28, and it wasn't that close.

Here's a photo of me dealing with the rain.

Chapter 3: Monday, Nov. 5th: Day 3.

So that front that came through?  Yeah, it was still raining Monday.  So we took Monday off.  There was nothing we could really do.  Besides, most animals lay down in cover when it's raining so there's no point in trying to hunt when it's cold (okay, cool) and wet out.

Chapter 4: Tuesday, Nov 6th: Day 4.

To make up for the lost hunt on Monday we decided to hunt all day Tuesday.  That was a mistake.  It was hot and humid all day.  The official high was 83 degrees, but the thermometer on Dad's truck read 85 degrees.  Did you ever have a day that was so hot and humid you couldn't drink enough water?  Well, that was this day.

The forecast kept changing.  First, it was forecast that it was going to rain the next three days.  Next, it was going to insanely hot the next three days, but no rain.  We couldn't get a straight answer about the weather.  But in all fairness, we were getting the first winter fronts of the season.  That kept playing havoc with the weather predictions.  Since we thought it might rain the next few days we decided to hunt pretty hard.

One thing Dad wanted me to do was take a photo of him next to his favorite tree out there.  This tree marks where we split up on the main path.  This oak tree it huge.  It must be around 400 years old.  Here's one of the photos I took with Dad by his tree.

Chapter 5: Wednesday, Nov 7th: Day 5.

Dad and I decided to take the day off.  Frankly, we were a bit dehydrated from the previous day.  Also, Wednesday's temperatures were going to be about the same as the day before (83-85 degrees,) but without the wind or cloud cover.

As I had time to write this day, I thought of something that had previously happened to us.

As Dad and I were walking down the path we took into the woods, I held up my left arm and made a fist. It's the sign the armed forces uses to mean, "Stop." Now I didn't learn it in the armed forces, (Dad did.) I learned it from the movie, "Predator."

When someone does this it means they've seen something, and everyone in the party should stop and pay attention. So what did I see that was so important/exciting?

It was a spider. Not just a spider. A spider's web. A big one. It was spun across the entire trail. I was about one foot from it when I saw it. I have to say it was magnificent.

I hated taking it down, but there was no other way to cross the path without removing it. The spider was right at the top of the web waiting for something to fly, (or walk) into it. The spider was only about two inches long. It wasn't a giant banana spider or anything in that family.

This little spider built that trail-crossing web all by itself. Since it had just rained, it had recently built it. So I have to give credit to this little spider. Again I hated to tear down its web.

I also used the inappropriate way to take down the web, as in, I used the end of my gun. But the web stretched all the way as far as I could hold my gun up. I still didn't manage to cut the web at the very top, where the spider was. That part was too tall even for the tip of my gun.

When we came back down the trail there was no new web. I hope the spider found a nice, new place to spin its web.

Here's a photo of our trucks and trailer at the KOA trailer park. They've always been good to us.

Chapter 6: Thursday, Nov 8th: Day 6.

After taking the previous day off we were well rested, relaxed, and ready to go. Everything went smoothly, and we pulled into our favorite parking place on time.

I was walked to my usual spot in the woods. When I reached the tree I put my tree stand on, I looked out, and saw movement. I actually walked up on a deer! The funny thing was I saw it at my usual time of seeing things in the woods at 7:04 AM.

I couldn't tell if it was a buck or doe, but I raised my gun and quietly headed in that direction. Since it was so far from me I knew I couldn't walk up closer to it. Besides, it was going in the opposite direction.

So, as quietly as I could, I set up my tree stand on a different tree. This tree faced where the deer had been. At this point I am facing due North. At about 7:30 I heard all sorts of noise behind me (South.) I actually stood up in my tree stand, and turned around to face South. I was looking back and forth to see what was out there.

And that's when a doe walked right up behind me. As in, from the North. The way I'm supposed to be facing, except that I turned around backwards to see what the noise was behind me.

This doe walks up to within 10 yards of me. That's when I turned and looked back, right into her eyes. And that was the time she jumped back, and ran about 20 yards from me. I felt like such an idiot. She didn't completely run off. She ran toward the East and then made a gigantic circle around me to eventually head West.

Never in my life have I had two times during hunting season where deer were within archery range. I mean, I wasn't hunting with a bow and arrow, but if it was archery season and I was, then I would have had two great shots this season. And remember kids, does are legal to take during archery season.

So that leads us to Dad. Right around the same time as all my fun (7:30) Dad had an adventure of his own. He had a doe run behind him at 90 MPH. Why was she running that fast? Well, because she had a buck with his nose in her "you-know-what" running behind her, also at 90 MPH. I think, "The Rut" had started.

The rules have changed when it comes to harvesting bucks. They must have one antler at least five inches long, and that antler must have a split on it. In other words, you can't shoot spike bucks.

Dad said this buck's antlers were a bit on the small side. He wasn't sure if it would have been legal to take. The buck would have had to stop for Dad to get a better look.

A little bit later on Dad saw a spotted fawn walking down the path that the other two deer had taken. It was most likely the fawn of the chased doe.

Once 9 O'clock passed the woods died down. But those woods were the most active and alive I had ever seen in years for those first two hours. The weather wasn't bad this morning either. I think that's one reason everything was moving around.

Dad and I were hunters number 3 and 4 today. There was only one truck that came in before us. Also, the scoreboard hadn't changed. No one has taken a deer since the 5th, and no hogs have been shot period.

This was completely unlike what it was like just two years previously. When we hunted Snipe Island in 2015 there was close to 60 hogs taken out. I think they had also taken around 30 deer that year. This year was nothing like that.

There had been no hogs taken out. One deer was taken during bow season, and two where taken during muzzleloading season. That meant that only two deer had been taken all quota hunt. 

I believe that Hurricane Michael did a lot of damage to the wildlife in the area.  It passed only 40 miles to the west of Snipe Island.  The area ended up being flooded.  Now hogs and deer can swim, however, that means they can swim and then walk out of the area.  I think they ended up going to higher ground North of Snipe Island.

Dad and I decided to change our hunting method. Since it seemed that the animals were moving from 7 AM to 9 AM, we decided that we would go in earlier. We weren't going to bother with hunting during the evening. It seemed that from 10 AM to 7 PM the animals were just lying down. It was too hot for them to think about moving. 

So we were going to concentrate on getting up at 4:30 AM.  We would leave the KOA at 5:30 AM.  That would put us at the check station at 6:20 AM.  We would then head down the road to our usual spot, pack up, and head in the woods.  I would arrive at my tree stand at around 6:50 AM.

Chapter 7: Friday Nov. 9th: Day 7.

I was in my tree stand at 6:55 AM. At 7:20 I saw a deer through the brush. It was about 40 yards off through extremely dense brush. I couldn't make out if it was a doe or buck.

It was headed in the direction of a open break in the woods. So I set up getting ready for a shot in that direction. However, the deer never headed that way. I saw it when it was about 20 yards from the break, but it never crossed it. 

That was the most exciting part of my day. Dad managed to see two giant raccoons. He was hoping it was hogs he was hearing, but he got a good look at them. They were definitely raccoons.  Not only that, but they were huge raccoons.  I mean, they were trash panda size.

That leaves one day of hunting left. I know I better get something tomorrow if I want to leave here with any deer or hog. Of course, I could throw in the towel, and knock out a few squirrels. Those uppity, loud-mouthed bastards have gotten more annoying every year.

Chapter 8 will be continued in the next blog post.  

… To be continued.

My Original "Kids In The Hall" Skit

A few weeks ago I was out hunting.  And by "out hunting" I mean, contemplating in my tree stand.  While I was up in a tree, I thought of a funny skit.  It occurred to me that it would be perfect for the former Comedy Central show, "The Kids In The Hall."

For those who don't know anything about the show, it was very quirky, Canadian humor.  The skits never took themselves too seriously.  I loved every episode I ever saw.

Here's the IMDB page for the show:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096626/?ref_=nv_sr_1

So here's what I thought up.

Man 1, who is picking up his kid from school, is approached by Man 2.

Man 2:  "Hey!  Your kid told my boy that you could beat me up."

Man 1:  "Well, you know how kids are.  They're always telling each other that their Daddy can beat up other kid's Dads."

Man 2:  "Well, I think it's time to put up or shut up."

Man 1:  (To his son)  "Timmy, you know you can't put Daddy in this position.  Now Daddy is going to have to do something he doesn't really want to do."

That when Man 1 completely sucker punches Man 2 in the stomach.  They start fighting like they are possessed.  I mean, totally over the top.  Also, "The Kids in the Hall" were always known for their use of hilarious fake blood.  And that's the thing.  It looks really fake.

So during the fight the two dads are fighting hockey style since they are Canadian.

We're talking grabbing each other by the shirt/sweater/jersey and throwing haymakers.  During the fight a few teeth get knocked out, and spit towards the camera.  While fighting they are yelling at each other about, "Not letting their kids down."  Things such as, "My kid said I could beat you up, and by golly, I'm going to beat you up."  That's the kind of dialogue "Kids in the Hall" was known for.

Finally, Man 1 has Man 2 on the ground, and he's just throwing punches like, "The Narrator" was doing to Jared Leto in "Fight Club."

That's when Man 2 finally taps out.  Man 1 wearily gets off him and aims to walk away when he hears someone say something to him.

Man 3.  "Hey!  Your kid told my kid that you could beat me up."

Man 1.  (Turns to his son)  Just remember the things that Daddy does for you.  Then he dives right into Man 3 like a madman, and the screen goes blank.

So that's my "Kids in the Hall" sketch.  It may not be right for modern day "SNL" or "The Whitest Kids You Know," but I think it's perfect for early 90's "Kids in the Hall."  I hope it gave you a laugh.