Idiot Scoutmasters: The Idiot Committee

Throughout my time blogging I have written a series of "Idiot Scoutmaster" posts.  They are about certain Scoutmasters from my time in Troop 12 of Lutz, Fl.  Due to "Professional Differences" I was asked to leave the troop.  After my time there, I joined Troop 189 of Tampa, Fl.

The Scoutmaster there was a great guy, Mr. Camp. That's right.  My Scoutmaster was named Mr. Camp.  His family lived three houses down from me.  I was in the same grade and Orchestra with his daughter.  Actually, we both played cello.  Sometimes we would share a music stand depending upon where we were seated.  I also got along well with his son, who was also in Troop 189.  His wife, Mrs. Camp was an active member of the volunteer community.  She worked with the Girl Scouts and the Red Cross.

Mr. Camp was a darn good and underappreciated Scoutmaster.  So this blog post is NOT about him being an idiot Scoutmaster.  No, he was one of the good guys.  This post is about the Troop Committee, and one of the dumbest screw-ups I have ever seen in Troop mismanagement.

Troop 189 was a drastically different troop from Troop 12.  The parents in Troop 12 had money.  Wherever they wanted to go, they went.  When I switched to Troop 189 the equipment was old and we camped in free state parks.  In fact, the tents the troop owned were old 1960's military canvas tents.  Pretty much all the equipment had been donated.  Troop 189 was the very definition of an inner city troop.

There's no easy or polite way to say my family was a hell of a lot better off than anyone in Troop 189.  For one, I had a Dad.  Including mine I can remember seeing about four total Dads.  Also, my Dad was the mailman.  As in, he was a U.S. Mail Postal Carrier.  Let's be honest, he was pulling a lot more money than anyone else there.  I'm not bragging.  This will be important information later on in the story.

So Dad is sitting in the committee meeting.  The Troop Committee (all Moms) are wanting to put together a fundraiser for the troop.  That's great!  We really needed to raise funds.  They decided they wanted to put on a spaghetti dinner.

So Dad asks, "What do you mean?"

It was explained that the boys would sell tickets to a spaghetti dinner held at the church (where our troop met.)  The boys would set up the tables, serve the food, clean up, and act as waiters for this spaghetti dinner.

So Dad asks, "So how do they sell tickets?  Do you want the boys to go door to door?  Who goes to a spaghetti dinner?

The Moms (or rather the one in charge of the committee) explained that other troops had done this and made a lot of money.

Dad said, "It sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth."

So they start to talk pricing.  The committee chairwoman wanted to price it at $3 a head.  (Sidenote: Think of costs in 1991.)

So Dad speaks up again.  "How do you plan on making any money?  I mean, that won't hardly cover cost.  It needs to be closer to $5 a head.  We're not running a church social gathering.  We need to make money.  This is a fundraiser."

That's when Rich stepped in.  He had come up through Troop 189, and earned his Eagle rank.  He was now a Councilman in the Gulf Ridge Council.  (Sidenote: Just a year later Rich would end up being the head honcho of the Gulf Ridge Council.)

Rich said, that, "If we're going to do this we need to make money.  The price needs to be closer to $5.  Rich was a good guy.  He wanted to be fair to everyone.

So the committee decided to set the price at $5.  Dad did some quick math in his head.  He said, "The best you can hope to make is about $40.  Do you want $40?  I'll give you $40 just to avoid the hassle."

Remember what I said about my Dad being the mailman?  Well, when I transferred to Troop 189 the Moms looked at my Dad in fear the first time they saw him.  They recognized him.  He was the one who delivered their welfare checks and food stamps.  He delivered their government  documents.  If there is one thing you get out of this blog post, remember this.  The mailman knows everything about you!

So when my Dad offered them $40 not to hold the spaghetti dinner the room went silent.  They just looked at him with fear.  Again, Rich stepped in, and said, "No, we want to boys to work on this like they would a service project.  It's important they perform a fundraiser."

So they turned my Dad down.  He told me all that went down in private.  I told him, "Heck, I would have thrown in $10 along with your $40 just to avoid the hassle.  Did you try to raise them to $60?"

He thought that was pretty funny.  He told me, "No, they pretty much had their minds made up."  Besides, I don't think Dad wanted to come across as a bully.  He just wanted to avoid the hassle.

So what happened the night of the spaghetti dinner?  It was almost entirely relatives of the members.  Some family members bought tickets and didn't show.  And for some reason a couple of the boys were playing around behind the pulpit.  While bumping around back there someone inadvertently turned on the baptismal tub.

Since it had no water in it, it burned out the element in the tub.  So, Troop 189 had to pay for the damage.  So with the money taken in for the spaghetti dinner minus the cost of repairing the damage from the tub, the troop ended up losing $20.

That's right.  Troop 189 lost money on that fundraiser.  And to be honest, they were probably lucky it was only $20 lost.  I just hope the committee members had it in the back of their minds that they should have just taken the damned $40 my Dad offered.

Below are the blog posts of my "Idiot Scoutmaster" series.

Bored Scoutmasters and the Tale of the Wampus

Idiot Scoutmasters: A True Story of a Scout's Canteen

Idiot Scoutmasters: Once Bitten, Forever Stupid

Idiot Scoutmasters: The Dishwashing Paradox

Stickin In My Eye

Back in the early 90's we had a pretty cool public access station here in the Tampa Bay area.  There were a lot of music shows where guys would not only talk about national bands, but local bands as well.  You also had a lot of underground bands get shown.  You could find both videos and live performances getting played.

It just so happened I was flipping through when I saw this great song/video.  It wasn't high quality at all.  It was pretty low rent to be honest.  But the song and video were pretty funny in a punk rock way.  I had no idea who performed the song, only that it was about him having something in his eye.

I'd thought about that song over the years, even though I'd only heard it once.  Well, it occurred to me just the other day to check Youtube.  Even if it was a local band they're stuff gets posted on there as well. 

So I type in, "I've got something in my eye."  The first thing to pop up is NOFX's "Stickin In My Eye."  I thought, "NOFX?"  It couldn't have been them.  But you know what.  It was.

I remember the wild gang of fans singing in a chorus like fashion about them having something in their eye.  I'm just amazed that 20 years later I found this with help from the internet.  I'm going to have to think of other things I wondered about so many years ago.  Thanks internet.

No Cover Songs, and Good Cocaine, Part 2

The original post: http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2011/04/no-cover-songs-and-good-cocaine.html

It has been one year, and three weeks since I thought about covering Dick Justice's ole time rag, "Good Cocaine."  Yesterday I finally performed it at Sacred Grounds Coffee House.  It's not that I've been lazy, I've just had other things to do.  Like work and stuff.

But a few things actually held me back.  First, the song was recorded in a tuning other than standard E, and then on top of that a kapo was used.  So, the first thing I had to do was find the correct chords, and put them in E standard.  Then, I had to change them around to fit my voice.  Let's be honest, I don't have the best vocal range.

I also had to update the lyrics a bit.  It's a bit of a blues tradition that every player will change the song up a bit. Like I had said earlier in my previous post, I wanted to change up the part that refers to certain groups as "monkeys."

Like any performer will tell you, generally the first time you play a song live it doesn't go that well.  Well, it couldn't have gone any better.  I played it as the first song right off the bat, and it just killed.  I wished I had of recorded it.  I was also very thankful I had a friend Josh playing percussion for me that night.  All in all it was a great night.

And I think I would be remiss if I didn't post Dick Justice's version here.  It is a funny video.

The Serial Killer at Cafe Kili is Really Annoying Me

So there's this nice little coffee and tea shop named Cafe Kili in Tampa (Temple Terrace area.)  The owners are friendly, the place is clean, prices are more than fair, and the smoothies are to die for.  (Note:  The banana smoothie I ordered was probably the best I have ever had in my life.)

A couple of my friends like to go to their open mic night for musicians, artists, and poets.  I went there one time, and have not been back.  Why you ask?  Because there is this one guy who I'm sure is a serial killer that hangs out there..... all the time.  Seriously, the guy even looks like Ted Bundy.

I can't be sure that he is a serial killer.  I have to play the game of whether he is a serial killer, sex offender, or a regular pervert.  Or maybe a not so regular pervert.

Now I realize that many of you are wondering, "what did he do?"  Well he was bugging this one gal, and I could see the fear in her eyes.  She was thankful that there were 50 or so people around.  I ended up asking her, "Well, he wasn't a serial killer now, was he?"  She said, "You noticed that too?"  The vibe this guy gives off is so far above creepy, there isn't a word for it.

Three different people I claim as friends, all who have much more patience than me, can't stand the guy either.  They all say the same thing.  He criticizes all the performers at open mics.  He acts like he's got all this talent.  He's also kind of pushy to go along with being snobby.  I mean, the man is not subtle.  

Okay, so he may not be a serial killer, but I am sure he is on the sex offenders website.  I am sure all of you are asking, "Well why don't you look him up if you are so sure?"  This reminds me of what the comedian Louis C.K. said, "Don't ever look on the sex offender registry.  You will make yourself paranoid with how many sex offenders there are around you."  But seriously, if I get that guy's name I am so going to look him up, and hand his info over to the owners.

Maybe if he wasn't such a dick no one would complain.  It's not like he's as likable as Herbert.

I actually imagine him as a gross, deformed asshole who sucks the life out of anything near him.  Kind of like a dementor.  But now that I think about it, he's more like the Nosferatu.  A perverted Nosferatu.

I wish that the owners would have kicked him off the property by now.  I can't make them do that.  However, I think that guy is scaring off customers.  Until then, I won't be going back to Cafe Kili.