The Serial Killer at Cafe Kili is Really Annoying Me

So there's this nice little coffee and tea shop named Cafe Kili in Tampa (Temple Terrace area.)  The owners are friendly, the place is clean, prices are more than fair, and the smoothies are to die for.  (Note:  The banana smoothie I ordered was probably the best I have ever had in my life.)

A couple of my friends like to go to their open mic night for musicians, artists, and poets.  I went there one time, and have not been back.  Why you ask?  Because there is this one guy who I'm sure is a serial killer that hangs out there..... all the time.  Seriously, the guy even looks like Ted Bundy.

I can't be sure that he is a serial killer.  I have to play the game of whether he is a serial killer, sex offender, or a regular pervert.  Or maybe a not so regular pervert.

Now I realize that many of you are wondering, "what did he do?"  Well he was bugging this one gal, and I could see the fear in her eyes.  She was thankful that there were 50 or so people around.  I ended up asking her, "Well, he wasn't a serial killer now, was he?"  She said, "You noticed that too?"  The vibe this guy gives off is so far above creepy, there isn't a word for it.

Three different people I claim as friends, all who have much more patience than me, can't stand the guy either.  They all say the same thing.  He criticizes all the performers at open mics.  He acts like he's got all this talent.  He's also kind of pushy to go along with being snobby.  I mean, the man is not subtle.  

Okay, so he may not be a serial killer, but I am sure he is on the sex offenders website.  I am sure all of you are asking, "Well why don't you look him up if you are so sure?"  This reminds me of what the comedian Louis C.K. said, "Don't ever look on the sex offender registry.  You will make yourself paranoid with how many sex offenders there are around you."  But seriously, if I get that guy's name I am so going to look him up, and hand his info over to the owners.

Maybe if he wasn't such a dick no one would complain.  It's not like he's as likable as Herbert.

I actually imagine him as a gross, deformed asshole who sucks the life out of anything near him.  Kind of like a dementor.  But now that I think about it, he's more like the Nosferatu.  A perverted Nosferatu.

I wish that the owners would have kicked him off the property by now.  I can't make them do that.  However, I think that guy is scaring off customers.  Until then, I won't be going back to Cafe Kili.

Hairy Fishnuts?

I was at my usual place on Monday nights.  That being, Sacred Grounds Coffee House.  Monday nights are open mic nights, and I love playing my original songs there.  I have also gotten to know a lot of the people there, and I've got to say they are some great folks.

However, open mic night can bring in the weirdos.  One night it was one guy who was a terrible comic.  Actually, I've seen a number of terrible comics there.  There was one guy who got on his soapbox, and complained for 15 minutes.  He said he was going to do a spoken work thing, but he just complained a lot.  There was the time that these two want-a-be gangsta rappers came in, and acted like they owned the place.

However, all this pales in comparison to the yellow and orange blitz known as the "Hairy Fishnuts."

They were kind of dressed like this:

I know that is rude to comment about how they were dressed, but it is pretty close.  One guy even had that accordian type thing, just like the guy in the picture.

Now I want to make sure it wasn't just about the dress of these folks that put me off.  It was the odd haircuts as well.  I mean, if one of them had looked like this I might have talked to one of them.

But they did not.  It was more like this:

It kind of freaked me out.  But let's get to the entertainment side of it.  They did two songs.  But they only used three words during those two songs.  Two of the words being "hairy fishnuts," and one other that I couldn't make out.

Now, I will be the first to admit there have been other bands that use a very limited amount of words in their songs.  The Exploited did that in their masterpiece, "Sex and Violence." 

Here it is:

The other thing that irked me about the Hairy Fishnuts was the fact that they started passing out business cards, and recruiting.  It's an open mic night, not National Signing Day.

I didn't actually talk to any of the Hairy Fishnuts.  With my smartass tounge, and a lot of weird luck that I have had in my life, I felt it was better just to not say anything.

But!  If I had said something to them, I'm sure it would have gone something like this:

Adrian Always Has A Place At Grandma's House

I am glad to get some time off from the road.  In what I consider one of the better decisions of my life, I have taken my time off at my Grandmother Betty's house.  I have had fun with Grandma just taking care of things.  Namely, eating lots of great food.  I am so tired of eating fast food.  I was so glad just to eat regular green beans and potatoes.

I could tell you more about what's been going on, but without pictures what's the point?  So here's some great photos with commentary.

Let's be honest.  I am a pretty darn good cook.  But I am known in the house for making great iced tea.  This is rasberry tea with real cherries and nectarines added in for real fruit flavor.  Grandma really liked this.  The good part?  No sugar.  Only Splenda for Grandma and me.  Gotta watch that sugar.

This is the vase that I got Grandma for her birthday.  It is made by Fenton (a West Virginia company.)  The color starts as a rose at the top, and light blue at the bottom.  Grandma's favor color is purple so she was really happy with this.

I bought this clothing/ sewing material for Michelle, a really good friend of mine in California.  It's very Ren Faire, something that she would like.  The shop is called WV Quilt in Barboursville, W.V.  They are really nice there.  I also got a "Whoppie!" card.  Once you spend $200 in the shop you get a 20% discount on your next purchase.  They keep track of the amount you spend on your "Whoopie!" card.

Everyone who has talked to me for more than 20 seconds knows I have lost a bit of weight in the last year.  So I kind of needed a new belt.  Seriously, I was cutting new holes in my old belt.  Well, I got this great belt in New Mexico, but my belt buckle didn't fit it.  So I stopped at one of the leather shops at the flea market and got a new belt buckle for a whole dollar.  Wow. 

This is the view of the Guyandotte River from the back of Grandma's property.  This is the clearest I have ever seen the river.  It's usually really muddy.  And it's quite a bit lower than I've ever seen it.  Which is funny because it was the highest I had ever seen it just a few months ago.  I liked this picture so much that I used it for the main picture on this blog.  I think it shows up a little better than the old picture.

Here is some video of the river I took with my camera.