More Weirdness In Dreamland

For those who know me, know that I have some unusually weird dreams.  Most of the time I have flat out nightmares that are so violent they go beyond what an "R" rated slasher film would be.  A couple hours ago I had a dream that was unusual for me, in that, it was kind of weird and funny.

I was fishing with a very large fish net.  I'm referring to the kind used for scooping up trout and other fish when you are fishing with a rod and reel.  Anyway, I had a net that was at least eight feet long and about six feet wide.  It made catching fish really easy.

I was catching fish until I managed to catch something completely different.  I caught a poster, and it was a huge poster.  As I looked it over it looked like a cross between Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" album cover.

And the Beatles, "Abbey Road" cover.

But across the top a handwritten phrase and autograph were personally signed to someone.  It read:

You were the fastest thing that ever came out of me.
Love, 
Andy Kaufman

Yes, that's right.  This Andy Kaufman.

I realized (in my dream) that this was the poster I had released into the wild a year ago, and I had now found it again.  So I decided to take it home.  As I said it was huge.  I went to put it in the back of my truck, and realized I would have to fold it over.  Namely, since it was ten feet long.  It was as wide as my truck so it must have been around six feet wide.

There were also two friends of mine there, but I won't name them so as not to freak them out.  Overall I have to say it was one of my more unique dreams, it that, it wasn't violent, but it wasn't nerve-racking like a lot of the other dreams I had.  It was about a nice day spent fishing.  And don't we all just want to spend a nice day fishing?

I Dream At 110%

I just took a four hour nap, and I feel terrible.  Some would say it's due to bad food or sleep apnea.  However, I think it's another reason I have such a terrible time sleeping.  It's due to my dreams, or rather the intensity of my dreams.  And due to them, I end up fighting in my sleep.  However, let me talk specifically about one of the ones I had during my four hour nap.

And there I was, in a Saloon.

I was all decked out in my best Western wear.  I was feeling pretty good.  You know why?  Steak.  I was eating a great big steak.  It was awesome.  People where hanging around, talking and playing cards.  It was then that I noticed a giant boar outside the double saloon doors.

So what is one to do?  Well, I just grab my pistol off the table, aim in-between the people and the doors, and shoot.  Shoot I did, and down the boar went.

I took my time moseying outside, because why not?  Moseying is what Western guys do.  I get outside only to see I did not shoot a boar, but a panda bear.

Yep, it was one dead panda bear I had killed.  But the owner of the restaurant wasn't mad at me.  In fact, he was extremely happy.  He was so happy that he had gone and skinned the panda bear for me.  The skin was ready to be taken to a taxidermist, and the panda meat was on the grill with sauce on it. 

And that's when things really started to get weird.  But I won't get into that.  This is one glimpse into my dreaming brain.  It's not that much different than my waking brain, except I hold back 90% of my thoughts from my waking brain.

You Are Only Limited By Your Dreams

You are only limited by your dreams.  But unfortunately for me, my dreams are limited by my brain.  But let me start at the beginning. 

I was having a dream.  My Dad and I were out hog hunting.  There were hogs everywhere, and I mean everywhere.  There must have been over a hundred just within shooting distance.

So my Dad takes the first shot, and takes out a hog.  He then hands the gun to me.  I don't know why I didn't have my gun with me, but he hands me his Remington .308.

I lollygag with my first shot, and miss.  I then get serious, and hit a hog with my second shot (third shot overall.)  I then put it down with the next shot.  I move on to another hog, and hit it.  

I then aim carefully for another hog, and then, "click."  Why did the gun go click?  Because in real life my Dad's gun only holds five shots.  So of course in my dream it only holds five shots.  Because in my mind, the gun has to, it absolutely has to have only five shots because that's what it does in real life.  Oh, and here's the funny thing.  All the hogs had tusks like elephants.  

Believe it or not, the hog pictured above is kinda tame compared to the hogs in my dream.  That's right, they were all savage wild looking things.

So let's recap.  The gun is limited to five shots because anything else would just be wrong.  However, the hogs can look like something from ages gone by, and that's okay.  

Sometimes I really hate my brain.