All I Wanted Was The Recipe!!!

Lately, I have been trying to change it up while cooking.  I don't want to fix the same dishes again and again.  So I have been searching the internet for recipes.  However, I keep coming up with the same problem.  People keep wanting to tell me their life story, and not give me the damn recipe.  This is what happened.

For legal purposes, below is the link as my reference source:

https://www.melskitchencafe.com/skillet-zucchini-and-yellow-squash/

So I searched for, "yellow squash and zucchini recipe."  The link above had a great recipe, but here's what I was thinking as I was reading.

Website:  This skillet zucchini and yellow squash recipe is so easy, delicious, and healthy, it is bound to become a summer side dish staple.

Adrian:  "That's great!  I have an abundance of yellow squash and zucchini.  Let's see what ingredients I need to cook."

Website:  Considering this is the side dish we eat four or five times during the late summer months, I feel it's time to share my feelings about the gloriousness of sauteed zucchini and squash and then leave you to get on with your day and life.

Basically, it's easy (10-15 minutes max.)  It literally can be served with anything (and I mean anything.)

Adrian:  I don't need your life story.  I just need the damn recipe.  I don't want your feelings.  If your feelings are getting in the way of my day and life then skip them, and give me the recipe.

Website:  And it's so yummy, I can't be trusted alone with the skillet (no really, I'll eat the whole thing.)

Adrian:  It sounds like  you need to see a therapist or dietary specialist.  I'm not your shrink.  I just want the damn recipe.

Website:  It's my favorite summer side dish, and I love that there aren't any frills or secret ingredients or squash pretending to be gormet here.

Adrian:  You could have skipped that last part.  Can we just get to the recipe?  You are wasting my time with your blather.

Website: For those of you that have already been doing this for, like, 100 years already, I’m happy we’ve been on the same page for so long.

You know, great minds and all that.

But if you haven’t, you should definitely be hopping on board while the squash lasts.

Whatever you do, remember to let the skillet get piping hot before adding that squash.

The delicious brown caramelization on the tender outsides of the squash is exactly what you are going for. Flavor, flavor, flavor.

As noted in the recipe, I love the addition of a tiny smattering of freshly grated Parmesan cheese at the end.

It takes a rather simple (and terribly delicious) skillet zucchini and yellow squash number and gives it a little pizazz.

Adrian:  Okay, now you're starting to fucking piss me off.  None of that had anything to do with the recipe.  Who are you trying to sell to?  I don't need your fucking life story.  I just need the fucking recipe!

Website:  I love all of your comments on this recipe!

You’ve shared many variations on this simple side dish and each one sounds delicious!

If you are in need of further inspiration, read through the comments to see how to change this up a little bit here and there.

For instance, Michelle commented: This is one of our fav summer dishes too!! We usually add potatoes to it as well. On lazy summer days, I throw in some kielbasa and broil some garlic bread and call it dinner!

Others have you have added fresh corn kernels, diced tomatoes, potatoes, and of course, lots cheese.

Adrian:  You ain't gonna like my comments.  Where's the recipe?  So far it's just been you blathering about yourself and some nonsense.  Give me the god damn recipe or I will fucking cut you!

Website:

Simple Skillet Zucchini and Yellow Squash

Yield: 6 servings as a side dish

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients

• 1/2 tablespoon butter
• 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 small zucchini, ends trimmed and diced
• 2 small to medium yellow crookneck squash, ends trimmed and diced
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Sprinkle of freshly grated Parmesan cheese (optional but yummy)

Instructions

1. In a 10- or 12-inch nonstick skillet, heat the butter and olive oil over medium heat until hot and rippling.
2. Add the zucchini and yellow squash in as even a layer as possible (it should sizzle as it hits the skillet) and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Let it sit without stirring or moving for 2-3 minutes so it can get nice and golden. Give it a good stir, add a touch more salt and pepper to taste if needed, and let it continue to cook, stirring only every now and then, until the squash is browning here and there and tender to your liking, about 5-7 more minutes.
3. Season with salt and pepper to taste and top with freshly grated Parmesan, if desired. Serve immediately.

Notes

Infinitely adaptable, this dish can be dressed up with chopped tomatoes, fresh herbs, and a million other tasty ingredients so feel free to experiment and add-on wherever your heart leads. 99% of the time, I make it just like it's written and keep it quick and simple.

I prefer using the little zucchini but if you have some the size of baseball bats, they work fine, too. Halve them the long way and scoop out all the seeds/innards before dicing. Try to cut all the squash into similar-sized pieces for more even cooking. All in all, I usually use about 4-6 cups diced squash (combination of zucchini and yellow squash).

Adrian:  About fucking time.

Fishy Steak Sauce?

First off, I love to grill.  Like all grillmasters I have a few secret recipes.  A few of these involve Worcestershire sauce.  Namely steak and steak related items.

A friend was over, and I was wondering if he was going to be staying for dinner.  The problem with that is he is severely allergic to MSG.  He will get an immediate headache if any just touches his tongue.  Yes, he is that sensitive. 

So I took a look at my Lea and Perrin's bottle, and was surprised at what I saw.

No, not that side, but the other side of the bottle.  Look under ingredients. 

CONTAINS ANCHOVIES?

CONTAINS ANCHOVIES!!!!????!!!!!

WTF??????

My steak sauce is in reality, "fish sauce?"  What the?  How did this happen?  What do Phillip J. Fry (from Futurama) think about this? 

I am going to have to re-evaluate my taste buds and what I use in my cooking. 

On a side note, I wonder if Worcestershire sauce is extinct in the year 3000?  Futurama fans will know what I'm talking about. 

On a second side note it seems that I didn't find any MSG in the sauce. 

Absinthe, Part 2

Years ago I wrote a blog about Absinthe.  Here it is:

http://angjellockheart.blogspot.com/2011/02/absinthe.html

Basically what happened was I drank one mixed drink of absinthe (one shot, 1 1/2 ounces), a few hairy things went down.  One drink.  I can't exactly say what happened back then because a lot of it was private.  But there are a few things about absinthe that I would like to expand on.

First of all, this is the best European site for real absinthe:

http://www.absinthe.de/

In the U.S. we are limited as to what kinds we can buy.  They just made some kinds of it legal a few years ago.  Simply put, the absinthe in the U.S. is thujone free.  Thujone is the ingredient that supposed to cause hallucinations, but even in vintage absinthes, there isn't enough in it to really cause any.  But that doesn't mean it isn't potent.  The alcohol percentage varies by maker, but it is usually as strong as something like Everclear.  That's why most absinthe mixes tell you to mix cut it with cold water by a 5 to 1 margin. 

Here's "Lucid" the U.S. brand I tried:

Here's a great article talking about the different types of absinthe, and what the new ones are like:

http://absinthe.msjekyll.com/usa.shtml

But I actually wanted to write about something else.  Mainly, the way absinthe's tastes are described.  First and foremost remember this, absinthes have a strong black liquorice taste.  No matter what they say, it tastes like overly strong black liquorice.  So why do the descriptions of it say this?


Herbs are maybe the most important factor when it comes to high quality Absinthe. Therefore we have selected the best possible quality herbs and wine alcohol to make Absinthe Duplais an adorable, excellent drink.

We created a composition of herbs, where all aromas coexist and none of them is predominant. Although this balance sets free a specific pleasant taste, which is light, complex and subtle.


First off, absinthe is never, ever subtle.  It's subtle in the way that moonshine is subtle.  The next quote is a review of one of the better, more expensive absinthes.


I disagree with the quote above, as being that I've worked with A. pontica quite a lot, I don't taste the peculiar flavor of that herb in this product....at all. In fact, I can't think of *any* modern product which employs that particular herb, this one notwithstanding. Therefore, my revelation comes as no surprise.

Nevertheless, this product tastes like some effort went into it, and the flavor comes off as a peculiar balance of both anise and a couple of atypical aromatic essences, the combination of them giving almost a pleasant 'cough-syrup' like aroma and flavor. The texture of the flavor tells me something about how the herbs were prepared, and unlike the other Spanish products, it doesn't taste like any 'oily' adulterants were added to the distillate. Tasting the liqueur neat, I don't taste the pointed flavor of absinthium right off, but rather I get the heady scent of other aromas which present an alternate, unobtrusive bitterness. Don't mistake this for absinthium, it isn't. What I notice here is that the bitterness from the other essences seems to hit the bitter receptors rather quickly, so that's what you'll taste most prevalently.


Honestly, all he had to say was "pleasant cough syrup."  That would have been perfect. 

To reinforce what I'm saying, all you have to do is look up absinthe recipes.  Because it's not meant to be drunk straight.  Even the most bare bones recipe calls for you to caramelize sugar cubes, and then cut the drink with cold water and ice.  Here's a great list of absinthe mixes.

http://www.originalabsinthe.com/absinthe_drinks.php

http://www.barnonedrinks.com/drinks/by_ingredient/l/lucid-absinthe-superieure-9213.html

Even the suggestions on the bottle of lucid had some pretty simple mixes.  Basically every single one of them did their best to cover up the real taste of absinthe.  That kind of sends a confusing message.  You want to drink the drink, but not taste the drink.  But let's be honest, the stuff is pretty awful.

So, I don't think I will be buying a bottle any time soon.  Namely, because a bottle of it is $60 a bottle plus state and county alcohol/sales taxes.  And I don't actually drink alcohol anymore, so that's another reason not to buy any.  And of course, it just tastes like "blah."

It reminds me of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode where she kept drinking alcohol, and kept hating it.