Friday, April 25, 2014

The Boy Who Walked Into A Tornado, And Came Out An Idiot

... A story from my youth.

Dr. House said it best when he said, "Everyone lies."  Well, everyone does lie, but kids are the worst at it.  I don't know if it's that their brains aren't working at 100% capacity, or if they think it's part of being imaginative.  Either way, kids lie...badly.

Then there are the kids who take it to the next level.  They continue to lie even when everyone knows they're an idiot, and no one is believing them.  This is a story about one of those kids.  I can't even remember this kid's name.  I can't even remember what he looks like.  But I remember the complete train-wreck of a conversation I had with him.

It started with a tornado.

Actually it started with a bunch of us, some 10 year old kids, talking about some recent tornados that had hit the mid-west.  It had been all over the news since they had done a bunch of damage to homes.  I remember how Tom Brokaw talked about the wind speeds would blow even harder than the hurricanes that hit us here in Florida.  The wind speeds could get up to 200 MPH, thus destroying anything in their path.

So this kid, I'll call him "Lil' Timmy," says that he's been inside a tornado.  Well, you can imagine what a ruckus this caused for a bunch of 10 year olds.  No one argues a subject to a well beaten, well rotted, dead horse like a group of 10 year olds. 

So Lil' Timmy goes on that he just walked up to the tornado, and while the winds were bad, once you got inside the tornado it was just fine.  There were no winds, and everything was peaceful once you got inside of the tornado.  So not only was he saying that he walked up to a tornado, he was saying that he walked inside of it, and it was totally chill.  He just sat back, relaxed, and had a grand time inside of the tornado. 

Of course, no one believed him, and massive name calling ensued.  I can't remember much of Lil' Timmy like his name or face, but I do remember that everyone thought he was an idiot, and he basically confirmed it. 

If I remember correctly, 10 year old me would have gladly shoved Lil' Timmy in the general direction of a tornado just to be rid of him.

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