I'm With Stupid

I think we all know the worst job in the world.  It has to be a substitute teacher anywhere or anyplace.  I always realized what a shit job it was, and never gave my substitutes much trouble.  In fact, one time I even spoke up to a couple of high school males and told them that our sub, was in fact, a human being and to treat her as one.

But that's not to say I didn't do a few juvenile things to a few subs.  This is my one story of when I inflicted Adrian humor on a substitute.  I was in a constitution law type class in 11th grade.  This class explained how the constitution was created, what the laws meant, how they were enacted from their creation to the present day.  It was actually pretty informative.  I'm really glad I took it.

One day we had a substitute.  This, of course, meant mostly book reading and other boring stuff.  Subs were trained in the usual English, Math, and Science, but this was such an oddball class they generally referred to the teacher's notes.  As I said, this meant, "read pages this to that" and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.  Pretty straightforward right?

After the sub gave us our instructions, she passed a paper around telling us to write down our names.  This was odd since most of the time they do roll call.  But no one seemed to care, and we started signing our names for roll call.

It was then I was, shall we say, "inspired."  At first I wrote my name down, "Adrian William Jefferson Clinton."  Underneath my name I wrote, "I.B. Stupid."

It was then that the sub spoke up to me.  I was sure I was caught.  She asked, "Why was I taking so long to write my name?"

I looked up in surprise, and said, "I wasn't aware there was a time limit for writing my name?"

It was then that the other students spoke up, and said, "He has a really "Long" name."

She asked me, "What is your name?"

Looking as innocently as I could I said, "Adrian Raymond Jefferson Long."

She looked somewhat satisfied, although still distrustful.  I quickly passed the roll sheet behind me to the next person.  The sheet was passed around the room without so much as a snicker.  I thought I might get a laugh out of someone, but no.

But then the weirdest thing happened.  The sheet made it back to the sub.  She then started reading the names on the roll sheet to match them up with the roll book.  I have to admit, I was thinking to myself, "There's no way this is going to happen."

But I hear, "Adrian William Jefferson Clinton.  I.B. Stupid?"

That's when I burst out laughing.  The rest of the room looked around at each other, as it took about three seconds for them to realize what just happened.  Then the whole room started laughing.  I honestly couldn't believe that it played out that way.  My prank had worked.

I know the sub wasn't happy with what went on, but for the rest of the period our class just did its book work.  So yes, we settled down after the laugh.

So yes, it was a dick move.  But I didn't think it was too over the top.  If I could go back in time, and tell myself not to do it, I totally would.  Of course, trying to tell 16 year old me anything would have been a waste of time.  I wasn't dumb, just really hardheaded.

To sum it all up that was probably the worst I ever treated a sub.  Except for one other time.  And that time, I won't be writing about.  No, I won't be writing a blog about that.