Badger At Your Feet

I'll get this out of the way now.  I am a Tom Green fan.  That's right.  I loved everything he ever did including his movie, "Freddy Got Fingered."  I know I'm the only person I've ever met who actually likes that movie, but I accept it.  For those who are trying to remember what movie I'm talking about, it's the one where Barry (Tom Green) asks/sings to his father, "Daddy would you like some sausage?"

When it came out I had a classmate named Jocelyn who said it was the only movie she ever walked out of.  It specifically had to do with the scene where Barry (Tom Green) was swinging a baby around by the umbilical cord.

It's also the movie where Barry decides to wear a deer skin, that he skinned off a deer, and ends up getting hit by a truck.

But there is one great thing for me personally that came out of this movie.  There is a scene where Barry gets by security by uttering the throwaway line, "Badger at your feet."  I've found that in my personal life it has helped when being approached by salespeople.

When I walk through Wal-Mart there is always a table occupied by a phone or cable company.  They approach Wal-Mart customers trying to get them to change their phone/internet/cable/etc. service.  This is how the exchange goes with the salesperson and me.

Salesperson:  "Hello sir, how are you doing today?  Would you like to hear some information about..."

Me:  "Badger at your feet!"

Salesperson:  "What sir?  I didn't understand that."

Me:  "Badger at your feet."

Of course, I continue to walk away from them.  The whole point of doing this is not to stand there arguing with the salesperson.  The point is to walk away without having to deal with their sales pitch.
In fact, today I was able to use this strategy.  I was walking out of my favorite sandwich shop when a man walked out of the building next to it.  (Note:  It's a strip mall so all the stores are smushed up against each other.)  A barbershop had moved out, and some sort of cell phone store had taken it's place.

First I heard someone yell, "Hey buddy," or something like that.  It turned out that he was actually yelling at me from the inside of the store.  He then ran out, and started with his sales pitch.

Once I realized what was going on I went to my go-to.  "Badger at your feet."

Cell phone salesman:  "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that?"

Me:  "Badger.  There's a badger at your feet."

Over the years I have had a number of reactions.  Most of the time people are left confused.  One time a guy yelled back at me, "Man, you ly'in!"  I think only twice someone actually laughed at what I said.  Of those two, I think one guy recognized the joke, and where it was from.

So far, it's worked 100% of the time.  But I know what you are going to ask.  What happens when it doesn't work?  That's okay, because I have a back-up line from that movie if the badger line doesn't work.

"You can't hurt me!  Not with my... cheese helmet!"