Mommy and Me and Cthulhu

I have this one friend on Facebook who is a nice enough person, but I cringe every time one of her posts come up.  Why?  Because she never actually posts an independent thought.  She has never once posted about how her days was, or anything like that.  90% of the time she is sharing a post from one of these awful "Mommy and Me" pages.

I have to say whoever thinks up the things on these pages has the same IQ as temperature on a nice spring night.  They have great life changing/ deep philosophical questions like, "Would you put a man before your baby?"  She always has to post along with it, "I would never do that in 100 years!"

I mean, it's kind of like a shooting fish in a barrel type of question isn't it?  They might as well ask, "Would you ever let a komodo dragon come between you and your baby?"

Who the fuck is even thinking something like that, much less asking it in a post?  Another great intellectual questions asked, "Your house is burning down.  What is the one thing you would save?"

I don't know, my 1988 Topps Complete Baseball Card Set?

Of course it's the fucking children!  What kind of dumb question is that?  How about, "Would you ever let your children accept an apple from an evil witch in the forest?"

(Editor's note:  Normally I would post a picture of the evil witch from Snow White, but that's owned by Walt Disney.  And those fuckers are hardcore about their copyright.  So here's a picture of something else.)

Another great one, "Should men help with the household work?"  Yeah, I wonder how that question went over?  (Sarcasm.  Sarcasm.  Sarcasm.)

I am reminded of the Facebook page, "Shares from your Aunt" which is a hilarious satire page.  If you've ever received a message from your Aunt telling you that Obama was the Anti-Christ then posting a Maya Angelou quote, while letting you know that 1 Share = 100 likes, then you know exactly who this page is referencing.  As someone with a large number of Aunts, I completely get what they are saying.

So I was thinking of starting my own page like, "Shares from your Aunt," but this time making funny of all the Mommy pages out there.  I'd call it, "Mommy and Me and Cthulhu."

Unlike those awful "Mommy and Me" pages, I would ask great questions like, "What's an acceptable age for my baby to join a cult?"

Is a fox an acceptable first pet for my baby?

Would you let a convicted child rapist put up drywall in your house?  Even if it's for a good price?

What's an appropriate age to introduce my baby into luchador sports?  Or is that something only illegals do?

Would you set up a machine gun nest to keep out axe welding serial killers?

I could keep going on and on, but I think you get my point.  Yeah, I think that's enough post for one day.