Adrian Faces His Inner Scar

It has been 11 days since I had surgery to remove my gall bladder.  The incision on my stomach/ chest is about 7 inches long.  The way the doctor wanted it to heal required that it didn't have any stitches in it.  So it looks horrible.  But the truth is I haven't looked at it.  I glanced really quickly when the bandages were changed, and decided not to look at it in the hospital.  Then I made it back to the Covenant Hotel and tried to look at it.  I saw the very top of it, and chickened out.  So here it is 11 days later, and I finally decide to look at it.  It was dang grizzly.  It was bad.  Well, at least I didn't throw up at the sight of it/me.

Earlier today I saw Dr. MacAllistar.  He is the surgeon who removed my Mother's and Sister's gall bladders.  He was looking to make sure I was healing correctly.  He decided to speed up my healing by dripping silver nitrate (silver iodine) into the incision.  After he had done that I asked him, "Um Doctor, is this supposed to burn like this?  I mean, it's really starting to burn.  Um, ouch, ouch, ouch, aah!!!!!"  That's when Dad said, "Yes."

So I have had some pain today.  It kind of felt like the Doctor took a soldering iron and soldered me like a piece of metal.  It still hurts quite a bit, even though I have had two pain pills today.  But this will help me heal faster in the long run.  I just hope the scar that is left is not too bad.

I have to be honest.  It is tough to face my scar.  It completely gives me the heebie-jeebies.  It is not a good thing.  It is not a sexy thing.  It's just .... bad.  I still can't stand to look at it, even though I have to.  Both Doctor's recommended that I don't bandage it up.  They want it exposed to air so it will harden up faster.  It's not good for it to be moist.  So I have to roll up an old T-shirt, and lay it against the wound.  It sits under my regular T-shirt that I wear normally.  That way, if there is any drainage, it bleeds into the old shirt.  And doing it this way helps it dry out and thus, heal faster.

So far I am concentrating on getting the outer skin healed up.  After that, I need for the inner lining to heal so I don't have a hernia.  And I have to be really careful about that because I have to be able to lift and move heavy things for work.  In fact, I will have to pass the D.O.T. physical test all over again.  So I really feel like I will be off work until May.  There's nothing I can do about it, so all I can do is be accepting about the situation.  Even if I don't like it.