Friday, November 4, 2016

One Hump Or Two?

My name is Adrian, and I come from a long line of smartasses.  It's true.  I don't often crack jokes or insult someone, but when I do I get my money's worth.  I also kind of got in trouble at school for a slightly racist joke/insult/comment.  Let me start at the beginning.

In my HVAC class is a man named Ahmed.  He is from Jordan, and speaks with an Jordanian accent.  He also smokes very strong Marlboro Reds.  I have occasionally commented about not being downwind of him when we are outside because his cigarettes are so much stronger than other brands. 

Something else I want I to make sure is known, is that, our class consists of 15 men of various ages.  And like a lot of blue collar, as well as young guys, we constantly rip and insult each other.  Honestly, male humans never outgrow this stage.  Pretty much anything and everything is fair game. 

I mean, even our instructor kids Ahmed about being the "old man" in class, demands to see his AARP card, and rips Ahmed about his balding hair.  Ahmed was in the other HVAC class until he got sick.  So he transferred to ours so he would have enough credit hours to graduate.  Now, he has kidded around with everyone, in both classes, about anything and everything.  I want to make sure this is known so that, when I tell what happened it adds history and context. 

On Wednesday it was near the end of the day, and all but about four guys had wandered off.  Our instructor, Raul, asked where Ahmed was.  Since I am full of pop culture goodness, I said, "Smokin!!!" in the style of Jim Carrey from the movie, "The Mask." 

Now, I know the movie, "The Mask."  Everyone knows the movie, "The Mask."  However, Ahmed is from Jordan.  He doesn't know that I am referencing the movie, "The Mask."  He happened to be around the corner, and thought I was making fun of him. 

So he says, and might I say, in a strong Jordanian/Arabic accent, "My name is Adrian, all's I do is talk guitars, music, and entertainment." 

So I kid with him, and he kids with me.  Is it a day that ends in the letter "Y?"  Yeah, it's par for the course. 

I reply, "Well, I could talk about the fine art of making love to a camel, but I don't know anything about that."

That's when Ahmed lost his shit.  And might I say, his accent only got stronger as he got madder.  He started yelling, "Fuck, fuck, fuck this guy!  Fuck this guy!  Talking about making love to a camel!  Fuck this guy!" 

Now my co-students Gabriel and Fabian started laughing hysterically.  Not so much as what I said, but because of Ahmed's reaction to me.  Ahmed complained to Daniel, and Daniel said, "Oh yeah, Adrian went too far."  Which only made Gabriel and Fabian laugh harder.

Our Instructor, Raul, said, "Yeah, let's not go there."  He was trying to calm the situation down.  I can't blame him.  I know I had pushed some buttons.  So I lay off, and keep my mouth shut.

Ahmed starts telling Daniel that, "He (Ahmed) was balding, but at least he didn't have a stupid thing sticking out of the back of his head."  He was making fun of my hair in a ponytail.  I let it go.

So the day ends, and I let go home with no further incidents.  The next day I arrived to school early, and saw Ahmed on the benches outside.  I walked up to him, and told him I apologized for what I said yesterday.  He told me, "Save your breath.  I don't want to hear it."  I tried to say I was only trying to joke with him, but he then actually walked away from me. 

So I figured he wanted some space, so I gave him some.  I did mention to our Instructor about what happened, and that he probably shouldn't put us together in a study group any time in the near future. 

So it does make it a bit awkward at school.  I just ignore him mostly.  The funny thing is, I never got to ask him one question. 

Does he prefer his camels with one hump?

or two?

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