Saturday, October 1, 2016

Homemade White Girl Coffee: The Ultimate Guide

A while ago I wrote a blog called, "The Whitest Girl Coffee You Know."  Here's the link:

Now I am addicted to it.  But I can't go to Starbucks, and spend seven bucks on white girl coffee every day.  So I decided to experiment at home, and make my own.  Now, I have provided you all with the exact recipe I use to make the perfect white girl coffee.  Now, I can start my mornings right, without the expense of going to Starbucks.  Here's the recipe:

First off, you need a big ole' cup.  Get that water hot.  I don't care how.  Just get it hot.

Next, add a Folder's Single.

In the water it goes.

Let's grab some Splenda.  You can use syrup or sugar if you want, but know this.  If you make it like I do, it will end up being around 1,200 calories.

And let's add an insane amount.  Don't even measure it.  Just pour it from the bag.

Now, let's grab some vanilla extract.

Add one capful to the cup.

Now you mix it all up, and add some heavy whipping cream.  Okay, a LOT of heavy whipping cream.  Go crazy with that stuff.  You're turning that coffee from black to a sweet shade of mocha.  That takes a lot of cream.

This is what you should end up with.

Now grab a giant cup, and some big ole' ice cubes.  I like using big ice cubes because they last longer, and don't thin down the coffee.

Now it's time to pour the coffee cup into the ice cup.

Here's the result.

How does it taste?  Like my name should be the most white girl name possible.  Becky.  That's what it tastes like.  It tastes like a Becky. 

Please enjoy this.  Share with your white girl friends.  They will love it.  Consider it a gift from me to you.

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