Saturday, August 6, 2016

The Whitest Girl Coffee You Know

So when I was on vacation someone (most likely me) had the bright idea that we should get Starbucks coffee.  I was like, "Yeah, let's do this!  LEE ROY JENKINS!!!!!!"  But then came the problem that had never happened to me.  I didn't feel like ordering tea.  You see, I had gotten some bad tea earlier in the week, and I just didn't want tea. 

Since it's a coffee place I thought, "Let me order some coffee.  But what coffee should I order?  I've never ordered coffee from Starbucks before." 

So I said to the barista taking my order, "MAKE ME THE WHITEST GIRL COFFEE YOU KNOW!!!!!"  So she made me an iced white chocolate mocha latte. 

At first, I felt my inner white girl come out.

Then, I felt like Mario when he has caught a star, and suddenly is invincible.

Suddenly, everything became possible, and I understood the power of my inner white girl.

I'll be honest, I'm terrible at foreign languages, so I'm not exactly sure what encompasses the "Starbucks language."  But, I'm glad they know what I'm saying.

So after I had this wonderful drink, I decided that I needed more.  So I drank some of my Sister's drink.  (I did ask before I drank it.)  That was when I finally understood why Modest Mouse's song "Dashboard" was so groovy and hyper.

I thought, "Hey!  I can really get some stuff accomplished!  Let's go do something!  Anything!  Something!  Anything!"  But no one wanted to do anything but head back to Grandma's house.  So we headed back to Grandma's house, and I listened to Modest Mouse in my head.