Saturday, July 13, 2013

I Am Homer

It has finally occurred to me that I am Homer.  No, not that one.

Also, I'm not that Homer either.

I am this Homer. 

That's right.  I am Homer D. Poe.  The Home Depot mascot.  Maybe I should start at the beginning.

You see, I didn't exactly expect to have a girlfriend, but life was kind to me, and I met Lili.  Due to life being even more kind to us, she was able to find a place near where I live, and get out of the not so nice place she was at.  The only problem with the new place is that, the people who lived their before Lili did their best to destroy the place.

The landlord and his three sons due their best to take care of all their properties, but they are stretched thin.  So a lot has fallen on me to make the place better.  And I've done a pretty good job.

If I am Homer, then let's start with the garden section.  The place had no real garden or hedges.  So I put in the garden.  I also put in the patio block.  It looks pretty good, and totally changes the look of the place. 

Moving onto the lumber section, I added onto the front steps.  I added a post and handrails for the stairs and ramp that lead to the front door.  I don't want to talk bad about the landlord or his sons, but since their time is limited, they don't do the best job in the world.  When I added the rails and things, I took my time and did it perfect the first time.  And I am really happy with the job I did.  I even added a ledge to the rail so I can put my drink on it. 

Let's go to plumbing section.  The kids who lived there before Lili destroyed the water spigot.  So it got capped off.  So my Dad and I put in a new water spigot outside.  That was we can water the plants, and use the spigot for outdoor things. 

Dad and I also added a new shower head in the bathroom.  The old shower head looked like something from the 70's and honestly, looked like something you'd find in a 1950's Shasta trailer.  I mean, it worked, but something else would definitely work better.  So Lili picked out a shower head she wanted, and Dad and I got it working.

Let's move onto the pest control section.  Again when Lili moved in there were some friends left behind.  And lots of them.  So I started my own personal war against the bugs.  First I dropped some very nasty poison called "Demon."  Then I dropped down some stuff even worse than that.  Seriously, I threw up when I started to put it down.  Yes, it's that vicious.  And then I did something that hadn't been done in a long time.  I put down some triasicide around the yard.  You put it in a spreader like you do fertilizer.  It is good to kill fleas and ticks so I know the dog appreciates it. 

That left me with a problem that I never had.  I had put down three types of poison repeatedly, but was still having problems.  I found out that the bugs that were still there needed a completely different type of poison.  So it got ordered through the internet, and I laid it down.  That got their attention.  Really.  They started coming out of the woodwork immediately. 

Now, let's go to the paint section.  Again, the house was torn up so the landlord did paint it.  However, all he had was paint that I will call "dog shit brown," so that's what he painted the inside.  The bathroom had the most damage so it got a lot of paint.  Well, not that much paint.  It was not applied very well.  It looked like it was done in a hurry.  So Lili and I decided to paint it.  We choose "wind swept blue."

In my next post I will show the pictures of what we did to the bathroom.  I have to say I am really happy with what we have done so far with it.

Everyone tries to find their way in life.  They also try to find out what they are good at.  If I am remembered as a blue collar "Homer," then I am okay with that. 

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