Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Affirmation Retriever

I want a dog.  But not just any dog.  I want an Affirmation Retriever. What's that you ask?  Well, it's a dog that hasn't been invented yet.  I was thinking about all the things I look for in a dog, and no dog was completely perfect.  So I thought I should do some selective breeding, and come up with a new breed of dog, the Affirmation Retriever.

First up, a lot of you may ask "Why a dog?  A cat can be just as good."  For that I will answer this, a cat can be kind of angry.

They also just seem like they want to kill me in some way.

So let's start off with a Golden Lab.

Make it a little more family friendly.

Next, let's add some honest beagle to the mix.

I want a dog that's going to be right there to reaffrim how great it is to see me.  I want him right up in my face.

I basically want a happy dog.

But I also want a silly dog.

I want a dog that will also get mad when another team scores on the Buccaneers.

And of course, one that won't steal my food.

And I need a dog that won't tell anyone about me or my friends bad habits.

I want a dog that I can dress up for the fun of it.

I want a dog that will take me places I've never been.

But the main point is that I want an Affirmation Retriever.  I want a dog that will think I'm the center of the universe, and reaffirm that I am great no matter what crap life throws at me.

That's the kind of dog I need.

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