Friday, September 7, 2012

Goth Night at the Coffee House

In an attempt to drum up a little more business on Sunday nights, the local coffeehouse I go to has decided that Sunday night is Goth Night.  Honestly, I can't make this stuff up.  Oh, and since I am in the Tampa Bay region, which has a ton of Goths despite it being "The Sunshine State," the turnout was not too shabby.

So the big question for those who have never encounter Goths before is, what are they like?  Well, they are exactly how they are portrayed on South Park.

So the next question is how do they dance?  Well, again, it's exactly how they dance on South Park.

And the music?  What kind of music do they listen to?  Well, it appears to be some song called "Soultaker" by Bluengel.

Goth Night was also sponsored by Anarchist Closet.  Really, not kidding.!Home/mainPage

I didn't really get to talk to too many of them.  The ones I did talk to were pretty nice to me.  But the story of the night was this one girl.  You know, you always get that one hot goth chick, and she was it.

She had on this well,... it was hard to describe.  It was made of black leather, cut like a one piece swimsuit, except that it went all the way to her neck.  It kind of looked like this:

Oh, and there was no skirt.  It was pretty.... nice.  Damn nice.  She had on some sort of fishnets as well.  I'll admit, if she stepped outside in that outfit, and the police saw her, I was wondering if she would be arrested for indecent exposure.  Being the smartass that I am, I was seriously considering putting a dollar bill in her garder.  But then again, I have no money so that was out of the question.

Edit:  I found a picture of her.  Here she is on the left in the "small" outfit.

My next thought was, where do these people work.  If you look like this:

Who is going to hire you?  I don't even think that Hot Topic would go that far.  When you out-punk/ out-goth Hot Topic, you know you've gone too far.  And there aren't enough alternative record stores in Tampa to hire all the goths out there.  Where do they work?

They tend to play goth type movies on the screen during the night.  This last night was a Batman marathon.  They showed both "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight."  I just sat back in the recliner and watched both movies while people danced and mingled.

Even though I am having a bit of fun at their expense I do want to say that I was treated nicely.  No one said a bad word to me, and most left me alone.  The two hosts of the evening were both really nice to me, and I do appreciate that.

Despite all the jokes I am making I am thinking of heading back on Sunday night.  Maybe I'll wear something   a little more black.

And for a little humor.  This is my favorite goth article of all time:,1767/

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