Friday, March 9, 2012

I Am A Terrible Painter

I have to be honest.  I am a terrible painter.  Not at painting houses.  Okay, yes I'm bad at painting houses.  But when it comes to wall hanging art, I am pretty bad.  Don't believe me?  Let's take a look.

So you are probably saying, "Those look pretty good.  What's wrong with them?"  Nothing.  Nothing is wrong with them.  You see, that was a trick on my part.  I did paint part of those paintings, but they were mostly painted by my former ex-girlfriend Roxy.  She did the hard part.  As in, most everything.  That's why those look pretty nice.

Ok, now that I have tricked you, I'll cut that out.  Let's see some awful stuff.

This one is called "Symphony."  God what an ugly yellow color.  What was I thinking?

This is called "Aurora Borealis."  The background is kinda okay, but I totally went stupid with the colors. 

This is supposed to be a tree, but let's be honest.... it looks like an atom bomb.  Even my Dad wasn't sure what it was.  So I call it, "Tree or Atom Bomb."  It's terrible either way.

This one is especially awful.  After I did this I knew I should stick to painting corral reefs.  It's called, "On the back porch."  But this should be on no one's back porch.

This isn't too bad.... except for the aborted fetuses trying to escape from it.  It's called "Warm Water Reef."  But there's nothing good about it.

This is called "Unstrung."  I know what you're saying, "Well, that one's not too bad."  Well that may be true, but it's nothing that a freshman art student couldn't do during a week in art class.

Now let's look at three I have just painted recently.

"Jackson Pollack Threw Up On A Corral Reef."

"Hot Polyps."

"Deep Blue Tang."

All these show the same thing.  Not only do I not have talent.  I have the same un-talent.  I kind of do the same bad thing over and over again. 

This leads to the same question, "Are you going to keep painting?"  Yes.  Yes I am.  I am going to keep at it for some reason or another.  When I figure it out, I'll let you know. 

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