Thursday, April 21, 2016

Bougainvillea of Death!!!

It's funny that in this family we have gardeners who want to plant stuff all the time, but never want to cut any of it.  That job gets left to people who could care less about gardening.  Namely, me.

Someone had the bright idea to plant a giant bougainvillea plant/tree/bush right in front of the house.  Normally I wouldn't hold a grudge against such a plant, but this one has giant thorns on it that makes me think this thing was bred from an angry cat and a rose bush.  In other words, you come near it, it's like an angry black woman.  It's gonna cut you.

Really, I knew a woman who lived in a bad neighborhood, and planted these things in front of her windows so burglars couldn't break in.  She actually had a burglar try to break in, and he fell into the bush, and started screaming in the middle of the night.  Yes, these things hurt that bad.  But to finish the story, no, he never made it in the house.

So it comes down to me to deal with it.  This is what I'm talking about:

Yeah, it's a little out of control.  First up.  Protection.  No, not that type.  This type.

And my trusty shears.  I think these things are older than me.  But that's good.  It means they were made with good metal.

I guess the one redeeming quality of this plant is that, it does have some nice flowers.

Anyway, onto the haircut!!!

So, I end up with this:

I even cut out some room for the butterfly rock.  What's a butterfly rock you ask?  Well, it's like a bird bath, but the rocks are piled up higher than the water.  That way, the rocks can be wet, but a butterfly could still stand on it.

Next, I filled it up with water. 

So, here is the finished project.

There were a few spots that I needed a ladder to get to.  There were also a few times I had to lean in close to cut a few branches.  I only managed to come away with one scratch.  That's what good gloves will do for you.  I know the lawn waste guys won't be happy with me in the morning.  But hey, at least I put it all in one can for them.

So now I leave you with this.  A song about the bougainvillea.  Or least it has bougainvillea in it's title. 

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