Sunday, May 4, 2014

Adrian: Neighborhood Jesus

Here's something weird that happened to me the other day.  I was at the grocery store when I ran into a neighbor who lives down the street from me.  I didn't actually recognize her, my Mother did.  So my neighbor got to talking... oops, did I say talking?  I meant gossiping.  She started gossiping about the neighbor next to her that she didn't like.  That neighbor is Polly, and I really like her. 

I can see how they wouldn't get along.  Polly is a hippie/liberal who lets the plants in her lawn grow freely.  The other neighbor is .... well, let's just say she is a little more conservative than that.  So it's like a comedy on ABC or something.  Let's just say they don't get along.

Well, the neighbor who I haven't named yet, started badmouthing Polly.  Saying her house was bringing the neighborhood property values down, and other things.

Which is when I stepped in.  I didn't get violent or nasty.  I just got Adrian.  And that means shit was going to get weird. 

I told her, "Yes, I know Polly.  I like Polly.  That's my thing.  I love everyone."

To which neighbor lady started to tell me more bad things about Polly.  Such like, you don't have to live next to her, or you don't really know her.

To which I said, "It doesn't matter how much I know Polly.  I like her.  I like everyone.  That's my thing."  To which neighbor lady rolled her eyes at me, and put her hand on my arm like I just didn't get it.

But I kept cool, and continued to look her in the eye, unwavering in my "likeness" for everyone.  I think she finally got it through her head that I wasn't going to agree with her, and I was going to do it in the kindest way possible. 
Frankly, I was laughing on the inside the whole time.  I've never been able to disagree so greatly with someone, while being so nice at the same time.  Honestly, I'm going to have to do it some more.

And now for the heck of it, here's Space Jesus.

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