Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The People I Work With

A few weeks ago I started a temporary Winter Holiday job with Target.  Everyone is pretty nice, but as I've gotten to know my co-workers more, they are an odd bunch.

Here's the rundown. 

Sherri - Sherri is going through menopause and never forgets to comment about all her hot flashes.  She is pretty funny with all her off the wall comments.  Today she asked me if I had a plastic tie (to tie up some plastic.) I told her all of mine where made of silk.  She did find it funny.  She needs her knee replaced, but can't afford to do so.

Pam - Even though Pam is a middle age Spanish woman, she has a voice like a Pokémon.  The first time I heard her speak, I thought she was putting me on.

Daisy - She is now engaged to a Japanese man who has never told his family about her... period.  She's rarely in a good mood.

Serge - He is my trainer in electronics.  He has been there so long he knows the ins and outs of the place.  He's been there so long his favorite saying is, "I just work here."

Doug - I don't think Doug works here anymore.  He told me, "I've quit better jobs than this."  I now think he's quit a job that he considers the worst he's ever worked.  He worked in the food industry for a long time.  I think he finally found a new job being a chef, and left Target behind.

Terri - Terri has not said one nice word to me since she's been there.  I have talked to my boss about her.  I don't talk to her if I don't have to, and she still tries to talk to me.  She tries to be funny, but is just insulting.  I swear the next time she talks to me, I am just going to go off the handle.  I've never seen someone who just "doesn't get it," like her.

Thomas - I have to say, Thomas works so hard he is making the rest of us look bad.  He says he just wants to get home, but he is cutting his own throat by finishing too quick.  He will probably be kept on after the rest of the Holiday help gets let go.

Justin - He is actually and electronics salesman, and not a stock guy like myself.  He looks like a caveman.  I mean, we both have long hair and beards, but his is almost ready to dreadlock.  And his beard looks like it needed trimming months ago.  Not a bad guy, but sloppy looking.  I'm surprised the bosses haven't gotten on him about it.

Jim - There's not much to say about Jim except he knows where every bit of food goes in the grocery isle.  That's actually pretty neat.  He's a hard worker, who brings his own "sweat towel" to work.  I also hate that no older than he is, he is balding really badly.

Greg - Greg is a harder worker and always says hi to me.  He also has a porn stache.  I'll give him credit, in that, he knows where everything in the store is.

Marcia - Now this is something I can't make up.  Marcia has a hole in her throat.  I'm guessing from cancer.  However, she only speaks Spanish.  So she croaks through her throat hole in Spanish.  The first time I heard her, I thought she was putting on.  It sounds like a frog croaking.  However, the Spanish people seem to like her.  Honestly, she sounds like Donald Duck meets a frog. 

Lu Lu - Again, I don't know much about her.  She mostly speaks Spanish, and doesn't understand me.  However, she does seem nice.

Angie - Angie is the girl all the bad guys want.  She has tattoos, nose ring, and those giant stretched earlobe thingies.  She is also really hot, and knows it.  She's nice, but knows she's in a league where none of the guys there are good enough for her.  I also get a strange vibe that she is bi-sexual.  One of those hot bi-sexual chicks. 

Annie - Annie is 65 and doesn't have a sense of humor.  She's like the angry Grandma.  There is one really strange thing about her.  I don't know if she has really pointy tits, or she wears the old fashioned pointy bras?  Seriously, they look like Madonna when she did that point cone bra thing during the Express Yourself tour.

Rafael - Raf was born deaf due to his mother having German measles when she was pregnant with him.  I learned sign language in college, so I can speak to him a little bit.  It's always strange when you are like one of two people who can talk to a deaf person in the store.  It leave them with only two people to talk to so they always have something to say to you.  Raf is a good guy.  He's still pretty young, and I hope has a good future in front of him.

Carin (Pronounced Karen) - She has always been nice to me.  I haven't gotten to talk to her that much, but she is in charge of softlines. 

The Bosses:

Jason - He is actually the store manager.  I didn't know this for the longest time since he was so nice.  Most store managers are complete corporate dicks.  Jason is extremely nice, and has never had a harsh word for anyone.  Sidenote:  I am not sucking up.  I am actually shocked that he is manager.  When I asked who was the store manager and they told me, "Jason."  I thought they meant another Jason I hadn't met.  Again, I was shocked that a guy that nice was the store manager. 

Steve - Speaking of corporate dicks...  This is the guy to worry about.  You know that one guy whose life revolves around the corporation?  Yeah, Steve is that guy.  He is so corporate that I don't think he is human.  He is like a manbot or something.  He is also part Kanye West, in that, he constantly interrupts other people and puts his two corporate cents in.  I also have a feeling that he is a Tea Party Republican.

Anna - She is my direct boss.  She is also a lot younger and prettier than me.  Seriously, she is Spanish, thin, and in charge.  I don't think she really likes me.  I guess I'm not in the Espaniol (Spanish) club.  Yeah, despite being in the white people/ part country part of town, this Target has a large number of Spanish people.  And they all habla (talk) with each other in Spanish all day.  I feel like Anna is much closer to them then the rest of the workers. 

Diane - She is in charge of HR, and is pretty nice.  She has Northern/Jersey accent.  She sounds just like Kyle's Mom (Sheila) on South Park. 

That's not everyone, but it is the most interesting of the bunch.  Maybe I will add to this list when I find out some more gossip or get some new co-workers. 

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