Saturday, June 8, 2013

Observations From The Blues Bar

I went to see Chuck, an old friend play the other night.  He plays bass for The Damon Fowler Band (, but he was playing with his own band that night.  Any time there are a bunch of people in one spot, there is always going to be a weird dynamic.  Here's my observations from my night at the blues bar.

#1.  Blues players make what's known as "The blues face."  You know how people make funny looking "O" faces or awful looking "duck faces?"  Well, blues players make "blues faces" when they play.

Well, it's not just for men, women can do it too.

In fact, they had a woman blues player up there, so I got to see the "female blues face" in action.

#2.  Danger!  White Man Dancing

With cheap beer comes great responsibility.  Seriously, you get enough beer in some of the older guys, the bad dancing will come out. 

It's not pretty folks.
#3.  Killer Karaoke. 
So this particular bar would have Karaoke in-between the band's sets.  Sometimes it was okay.  Sometimes it was awful.  Which leads me to #4.
#4.  Every rose has it's retarded singer.
So this guy decided to sing some Karaoke.  The problem was he sang with a retarded lisp.  I'm not hating on the retards.  But you know how a lot of them have a retarded lisp?  Well, this guy sang like that.  And he wasn't even retarded! 
And then there was this woman who sang one of my favorite songs, "I Hate Myself For Loving You," by Joan Jett.  All I could think was, I hate this woman for singing this song.  It was pretty bad.
#5.  Bad Requests.
This I could not make up.  The band was in-between songs talking about what they were going to play next.  Out of nowhere this chick comes up on stage and starts asking this blues band to play .......  wait for it.......  Staind. 
That's right.
The band that plays this:


Was asked to play this:

Yeah, don't ask me cause I don't know either.

#6.  No black people at the blues bar.

So I know that it's been said that white people stole the black man's music.  I know the blues started in the South with the black community, so why is it that there are no black people at the blues bar?  Something to think about.

#7.  Didn't he just play that?

Now remember, these guys are friends of mine.  And I'm not afraid to admit that they are much better players than myself.  That said, all these blues solos are starting to sound the same.  I mean, it takes real talent to play them, and the tone is great, but for some reason they all start to sound the same after a while.


To the heavily tattooed chick.

Please tell me about your relationship with your Father.

#9.  End of the night.

Please Lord, don't let these people drive home.  Please.

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