Thursday, September 4, 2014

I Came In Like A Wrecking Ball.... Only With More Clothes On

So I had an interesting day at work.  It seems like after six years at an apartment, the tenants finally moved.  And they left the apartment a mess.  A complete mess.  That's where I come in. 

The sinks?  They were going to have to go.

The cabinets that the sinks are attached to?  Gonna have to get smashed and thrown out.

The particle board whatever?  That's where I come in like a wrecking ball, only with more clothes on.

(Sidenote:  This is usually when I would show a picture of Miley Cyrus butt naked on her wrecking ball, but blogger sure as hell won't allow that so....)

Yeah, it was a mess.  What made it bad?  The bugs.  Namely various types of roaches that live in Florida.  This place had all of them.  And they weren't dead.  They were all over the place.  Say, do you remember that scene from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?"  You know the one.  The one with the bugs?  Yeah, it was kind of like that. 

(Sidenote: Now normally I would post awful pictures of roaches, but even I can't do that on my own blog.  So, I will post what I kept thinking for all those hours.)

That's right.  I was dirty, nasty, with bugs crawling everywhere, including all over me.  It was important in times like this to think happy thoughts. 

I don't know why anyone would let a place get that bad.  The paint was scraped off the walls.  The walls were dented as well.  There was grease all over the kitchen.  The kitchen also needed a shop vacuum to pull all the debris and dust out of there.  The carpet?  Forget about it.  It needed burnt.  The smell was as bad as you would think.

But back to the wrecking ball.  The foreman said, "I want this stuff out.  I don't care what you have to do to get it out.  Take a hammer, take it out in pieces, I don't care."  So that's what I did.  I took a hammer, along with a song and dance, and started smashing the everloving hell out of those cabinets.  I had the roaches on the run. 

Honestly, it was all made of particle board and staples with very few screws.  And due to water and bug damage it came apart pretty easy.  I even got to try some old Tae Kwon Do kicks out on them.  I had a bit of fun doing that.

When I got home all I could think of was that scene from the movie "Tommy Boy," where Tommy is being hosed off while singing, "Maniac."  That should have been me.  I was that nasty.

But when you work a job like this, you can only keep your chin up, and of course, think happy thoughts.

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