Friday, June 10, 2011

Chicks Dig High Profile Vehicles.... Like Dragons.

I just finished watching "How To Train Your Dragon" a few days ago.  I have to admit.  I love it.  It could be the best kids movie since "The Lion King," and "Aladdin."  The one thing that really stood out was the all the different types of dragons.  But having the Night Fury as the ultimate dragon was a great choice.  Why?  Well, let's look at Toothless the Night Fury.

Cute?  Oh yes, but there is something else.  Let's look at a wider picture of Toothless.

At first I couldn't figure it out.  I knew that Toothless looked like something familiar, but then it hit me as I was driving down the street.  He looked like a Pontiac Trans Am.

It's true!  I saw a 90's Trans Am, and it all clicked.  Toothless was Hiccup's Pontiac.  Here's another shot of Toothless.

And here's a supped up Trans Am:

This all makes sense now.  The one way Hiccup was able to get the hot blonde girl was to get the most supped up, powerful dragon.  It would be no different if I were to ride up in the Trans Am pictured above, and cruise through Ybor City.  All the hot blonde girls (and the hot, fake blonde girls) would totally be digging my ride. 

So "How To Train Your Dragon" was about friendship, getting along, and a lot of kid friendly ideas.  But in reality it told the story of a guy getting a supped up ride, and getting the hot girl to like him.  Again, I said I really liked the movie.  And now you know why.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Questions I Would Ask J.K. Rowling

I admit it.  I am a fan of J.K. Rowling's various works.  Okay, we all know they aren't that various.  It's all Harry, all the time.  But I am a huge fan.  I know I'm not the only one, so no judging.  Only God (or the Gods) can judge me.  Oh, and Judges.  Judges can judge me.  In fact, I guess a lot of people could mentally judge me.  Okay, so just forget that last part.

The main idea is that I would like to ask a few questions to the greatest author of our time.

I know there's a lot of questions that J.K. Rowling gets asked by kids, adults, reporters, etc.  However, I would not ask any softball questions.  No.  I will ask the questions that people want to know.

1.  In book 4, The Goblet of Fire, two schools came over to Hogwarts for the Tri-Wizard Tournament.  However, they didn't really do any exchange student activities.  Why weren't classes shared by the students of the three schools for cultural exchange?

1B.  Also, why aren't there other exchange students?  Something like American witch exchange students?

2.  Did Hogwarts ever have special guest speakers or motivational speakers?  It didn't have to be the Minister of Magic, although he did make an appearance at the school.  Did known experts in their magical field come and give special presentations at the various Hogwart's classes?  I could especially see Muggle presenters giving a  special presentation during the Muggle Studies classes.

3.  After Harry got really famous, like I suspect he would after the 7th book, did he ever endorse any products like a broomstick?

4.  Back to American Witches.  If you do write any future Harry Potter novels will American Witches finally make an appearance?

5.  (Spoiler Alert!!!!!)

For those who don't know Headmaster Dumbledore is gay.

So um, Dumbledore is gay.  Mmmmm.  Um, how'd that happen?

5B.  But really, is there any thought to a Harry Potter prequel?  If so, will there be a Dumbledore gay love scene?

6.  Okay.  The question everyone wants to know is, during Book 6, The Half Blood Prince, Harry and Ginny kiss in The Room of Requirement.

But really, they did more than that right?  I mean, Harry and Ginny totally did it in there.  I imagine the room changed itself to their needs.  I'm sure it provided ambient lighting and a canopy bed for them to knock broomsticks in.  And then it provided condoms and/or Baby-B-Gone pills for Ginny.  I'm totally right on this aren't I?

7.  I know we see Professor Snape through Harry's eyes, but when he was in the company of other Slytherins did he cut loose, have a good time, and end up being liked by them?

(Note:  Carrie was totally a Slytherin.)

8.  Say, at the end of Book 7 The Deathly Hollows, Harry emerges victorious.  I imagine after all the funerals he would need a vacation.  What do you think about a Book 8 where Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the rest of the gang take a trip to Egypt, and get all mystical with Egyptian Magic?

8B.  Come to think of it, wouldn't it be better if they were like Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby running into mummies down there?

9.  Do you think in Book 8 that Hermione would be so traumatised from the events in Book 7 that she would have to go to Mt. Mongos for rehab?

Thanks for your time Jo.  I really appreciate it, and all your honest answers.  When I think of more inappropriate things I'll make sure to look you up.