I just thought to myself, "Well, I'm glad I wasn't buying tampons BOGO. I don't need you to judge my purchases. Just shut the fuck up, run it over the scanner, and let the old guy bag it. Please don't put the four ketchup bottles on the bread. Thank you." Now I didn't say it, but I honestly did think it.
So today, I'm in line at the Winn Dixie (my first mistake) with my one item. I had the cashier pegged immediately. I'm glad she was getting work experience, but she was so young and pretty she had to be dumb. Do you remember all those blonde jokes from years ago? Well, all of them applied to her.
First off, the lady in line in front of me was going to be making a cake. You could clearly see by the cake mix, frosting, and sprinkles she was purchasing that she was making a cake. So the cashier gets into this Q&A session about what the lady is making. At least the lady was nice and patient. I'd like to think that most cake ladies are.
So then I am up with my one item. The beautiful/lolita/dumb as a brick cashier asked me, "What is this?" I said, "It's wax parafin." Then BLD cashier asks, "What do you do with it?" I stayed calm, and said, "You use it for canning foods, and making wax candles among other things." BLD asks, "You make candles?" Then I take a deep breath, and said, "I have made candles in the past." We then made small talk about candles.
What I didn't say was, "At least I wasn't buying tampons."